Colombia's clothes-in-the-window bane

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

Getting used to the cultural quirks of one's adopted land can take some time. Indeed, there are certain mores that the outsider may never fully understand or accept.

From a Colombian perspective, this blog has looked at some of these over the years.

There's an Italian flag on display at one of these windows. That might offend some people. 

Always someone else's fault

For example, there's the pestiferous fear-of-the-hot-seat syndrome, something, mercifully, I rarely see these days as I seldom take public transport in Bogotá (it's at its most prevalent on urban buses).

Then there's, let's just call it the very relaxed attitude to customer service. It could be said that in places where one would expect this to be front and centre, it's actually at its worst. 

Add in some customers' inability to respect queues and one can regularly expect an infuriating experience when shopping and suchlike.

Another worthy mention is the verbal politeness, an overall (superficial) formality that is then often betrayed by actions that are anything but polite or praiseworthy. Just say the magic phrase 'que pena con usted' and all shall be fine. And one must never accept personal responsibility for an error, misjudgement or whatever. It's always somebody else's fault.

'I have a fair idea of what might "offend" the locals but this doesn't mean I've learnt to simply sigh and accept it.'

Linked to the previous is the refusal to engage with anyone who gets angry when something isn't done as promised or a paid-for service fails to meet the stipulated standards. Reacting with rage to injustices, even if they may be of a serious nature and this is obvious to all, is a no-no in Colombia. A significant no-no.

It's those who can keep calm, stay level-headed and even make a joke out of the situation who tend to get their issue resolved more quickly than the hotheads. Alas, I'm a rather slow learner on this one.

While the above refers to Colombian traits that outsiders from certain countries may find inane, irritating or outright infuriating, there is, of course, the flip side to this. There are things that some foreigners do that vex the Colombians.

For one, there is that aforementioned tendency for some of us to get angry when we've been wronged or at least feel we've been wronged.

Drying law

It is, however, aghast reactions to what I consider harmless, victimless practices that baffle me. 

OK, after eleven years in the country I have a fair idea of what might "offend" the locals but this doesn't mean I've learnt to simply sigh and accept it. No, not when no logical reason can be given as to why certain acts are deemed as attacks against Colombians' well-being.

No doubt, though, most locals reading the following will agree that the practice in question is a philistine one and worthy of a sanction.

Here goes. I currently live in shared accommodation in an apartment complex, one which is managed by administrators — administrators who often double up as dictators from what I've experienced. They'll say, of course, that they're just enforcing agreed-upon protocols.

'The four horsemen will be galloping through the apartment complex next.'

The violation that my now former housemate committed was to place his recently washed shoes on the window sill, in view of not just the passing public — who, I wager, couldn't really care about it — but also fellow residents. Goodness me! Declare martial law! (By the way, my South American housemate's departure had nothing to do with the offence, he was leaving in any case. In fact, he had already left by the time written notification of his misdemeanour was delivered.)

Such effrontery to Colombian etiquette has resulted in a fine, which the non-resident landlady will have to pay, I hasten to add. I'll do time before paying a penalty for something I didn't do.

Now, that this is viewed as an offence according to the administration is down to, I assume, the adverse effect of such a display, aesthetically speaking. In other words, visual pollution. Colombia does indeed have statutes for this. It doesn't appear, however, that placing items of clothing in one's window is prohibited.

One could understand the aversion to this a little more if we were talking about an exceptionally well-kept area. But we're not.

Death by shoelace hanging: Residents still haven't recovered from this grand violation.

Yet, even if it was one of the finest neighbourhoods in Bogotá, punishing a resident for airing his shoes on the window sill is ridiculous as far as I'm concerned.

Are people actually mentally hurt by such an act? If they are, I think the bigger problem is with them.

'If it's working, break it'

I would argue that noise pollution is a far greater offence, one that can cause both mental and physical damage to many people simultaneously.

I'm not sure, though, if my neighbours get hit with fines when they play music loudly. Or how about when those who live on the floor above me appear to be trying to come through my roof, a racket that raises my ire. My guess is that this goes unpunished.

Yet, inanimate objects drying in one's window? The four horsemen will be galloping through the apartment complex next.

Taking this further, surely I would be within my rights to demand the removal of curtains or the like that I find unsightly, wouldn't I? 

Indeed, in an apartment complex in which I lived previously, I was given a verbal warning for drying my clothes on the curtain rail of my bedroom window. The rule was that residents could only air clothes at their laundry-area window.

Some will say it's a weak defence to argue that of all the things wrong in Colombia, demanding retribution for clothes or shoes drying out a window is far from the most pressing concern. 

The counterargument for the zero-tolerance approach is the idea, akin to the broken windows theory, that it's a display of decadence and must be corrected.

Really? Drying clothes at a window is a symbol of moral decay?

I think it's more a sign of many Colombians' inability to tackle the real issues afflicting this country. They get a sense of satisfaction about "fixing" things that aren't broken whilst they neglect to deal with the practices that are truly damaging society.

Worryingly, it's an approach that seems to be taking hold across the world.
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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

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San Luis de Gaceno: Going its own way

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

As has been well documented on this blog, I've visited several rather similar Colombian towns — pueblos — over the last few years. 

Now, some cynical types might say that all Colombian towns are pretty much the same, in a mediocre sense, apart from a small number of exceptional ones. I, of course, wouldn't go along with that.

Gorgeous Gaceno: There are worse places one could be!

Putting God in His place

Nonetheless, having been to so many, particularly in the Andean region, that I don't always remember one over the other or that I forget specific attractions is surely understandable and forgivable, isn't it?

This doesn't mean I didn't/don't like them. One could say it's akin to mixing up lookalike siblings. They have unique traits that set them apart but on first appearance or recalling the individuals from memory it can be hard to tell the difference. This is usually "corrected" through further engagement or by delving deeper into the memory bank.

Some places, though, just like people, stand out more so than others. They are, for good or for bad, more easily remembered.

San Luis de Gaceno, in the hot, low-lying lands in the south of the Boyacá department, is in that category. Its setting alone, which you can get an idea of via this YouTube Shorts video, https://www.youtube.com/shorts/v_NToHlkGcQ, should ensure that.

Yet, Colombia has many quaint towns surrounded by stunning landscapes. Indeed, while the natural beauty around San Luis de Gaceno competes with the best of them, architecturally speaking, it's in the lower leagues.

That building blandness aside, it is often the quirkier aspects of a person or a place that linger. With San Luis de Gaceno, for me anyway, two such quirks have stuck in the mind.

'This parish peculiarity could be a sign that Sanluiseños like to, um, think outside the main square.'

The first, more obvious one, conspicuous by its absence, is the fact that the town's main square is devoid of a landmark Catholic church, nay any religious building. This goes against not just the Colombian but also the Latin American standard.

A church-free main square. 

It does have a Catholic church — and, lest one be accused of bias, places of worship for some other denominations — but it's simply the case that it's not located on the main square.

I heard it said that the locals loved their faith so much that they wanted the church to have a standalone spot, which it does. It's on a knoll just off the main road.

Whatever the reason, this parish peculiarity could be a sign that Sanluiseños, the demonym for the locals, like to, um, think outside the main square, so to put it.

'Only their chickens and rivers run free'

The other "major" anomaly that I observed — or didn't observe, as it was — is that the town has no fried/roast chicken restaurant, asadero de pollo as they're called in these parts. Or if there is one, it's well hidden, which would be a feat in itself. These are the eateries, after all, with lines of chickens slowly spit-roasting away for all to see. They're ubiquitous in Colombia. Well, I had thought they were.

It's not, it must be noted, that I needed one during my stay — in heat in excess of 30 degrees Celsius I tend not to have cravings for roasted or fried chicken. It's just that in many Colombian towns there's nearly no other option when it comes to eating out. So the lack of one was a mild surprise.

One thing I do like to have, regardless of the weather, is a cup of quality, unsweetened coffee.

As I've detailed before, it can be next to impossible to find such a "treat" in small-town Colombia. Yet, once again, San Luis de Gaceno bucks the trend.

An oasis of calm: A serene spot where one can unwind. 

In the couple of panaderías I frequented, the coffee served up merited more than a pass mark. And I am a fairly tough grader when it comes to my brew.

Throw in the town's closeness to fluvial freshness — with some serene spots along the river great for cooling off — and a comfortable en suite hotel room for 20,000 pesos per night and it's easy to see why San Luis de Gaceno, as a place to unwind if nothing else, has much going for it.

This is not to mention the quite spectacular scenery en route from Bogotá. It makes the five-hour journey that little bit less taxing. (This is, by the way, on the same road, just a little further south, as Santa María, which I visited and wrote about previously.)

Indeed, if the work and visa gods permit me to stay in Colombia beyond November, I may go back to San Luis de Gaceno to enjoy a longer stint than the rather rushed two nights I had there.

That would be a rarity for me — a return to a town I've already visited. It's as good as an endorsement that Wrong Way can give.
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Easygoing El Peñón. But is Topaipí tops?

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

On occasions, according to some mental health experts, it can be good to just do nothing. Or the very bare minimum in any case.

Indeed, the deft Dutch have a term for it: niksen, which literally means 'to do nothing'. Or, in practice, at least doing a very basic action that serves no real purpose and is not at all taxing.

Head-to-head: El Peñón (bottom) has a nicer setting but is Topaipí a livelier town? 

Something may come of nothing

I, however, like to think that I don't enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Generally, during my waking hours, I want to be as productive as possible. Or at least feel like I'm being productive.

Yet, on deeper reflection, in the right place and time, I do actually engage in "nothingness" and like to do so. For example, I enjoy simply lying in the sun, particularly if it's in a secluded spot, away from fellow human beings and annoying animals — the latter referring to, for the most part, delirious dogs and irritating insects, be they bloodsuckers or otherwise.

Finding such places is the difficult part, regardless of where one is really. (Although, on a recent visit to the small town of San Luis de Gaceno in Colombia's Boyacá department I did happen upon an isolated sandy shore of a gently flowing river. It came close to being perfect in this imperfect world of ours — perfect for my needs at the time, that is.)

I found no such spots around El Peñón in the Cundinamarca department. They may exist considering the town's relative closeness to the Río Negro with plenty of uninhabited land about but my rather aimless wanderings didn't uncover them.

'It must have one of the lowest ratios of tiendas per capita in the country.'

Nonetheless, the very town itself could be considered a place for some mild niksen. Unlike other similar-sized places I've visited in Colombia, not every second house is a beer-selling tienda. A few panaderías fill this "void" but, based on my not-very-scientific observations, it must have one of the lowest ratios of tiendas per capita in the country.

Thus, it seems to move to a very easygoing beat. Heck, it doesn't even have one of those 'Yo amo — with "amo", "love", represented by a heart — (insert name of town)' signs in human-sized letters on its main square. Perhaps it shows the townspeople's confidence in what they have. It certainly marks the place out considering the mushrooming of these rather flashy signs in Colombia of late. Budgetary issues might be more of a reason for its absence, though.

From whence Wrong Way came: A view of El Peñón as seen from the road to Topaipí. 

If a "What to do in El Peñón and its surrounds" brochure was released, outside of walking around and just taking in its rather impressive setting, I'm not sure what else could be included.

But, somewhat aimlessly wandering is, in a way, one of my favourite forms of niksen.

Topaipí, tienda town

It was, after all, an unplanned 18-kilometre descend-ascend trek on a sporadically paved road that took me from El Peñón to Topaipí, the latter with its "Yo amo Topaipí" sign on proud display in front of the church on its quaint main square.

Arriving in the early afternoon on a Saturday, in contrast to El Peñón, Topaipí was heaving. Well, heaving in so far as a small town deep in the countryside can be heaving.

There, nearly every townhouse appears to be a sit-in tienda.

It might have just been simply down to timing but Topaipí seemed to be the wilder sibling of El Peñón. I did only spend a few hours there so further research is required.

The error in undertaking such an impromptu stroll was that I got to the town after the last bus back had left.

Whilst weighing up my return options a few drinks were had — for rehydration purposes solely — in one of the aforementioned tiendas in the company of some curious locals, all of whom were small-scale coffee farmers.

With the evening drawing in, the thoughts of walking back didn't fill me with excitement. A motorbike taxi was arranged. At 30,000 pesos it was 1,000 pesos more than the bus ticket from Bogotá to El Peñón. Oh well.

Home from home. Mr & Mrs Rincón in their new tienda in Pacho.

The atmosphere did seem a little livelier in El Peñón on Sunday but with a rendezvous in Pacho, I couldn't stay another night to see how things would develop. (That meet-up was with the owners of my local establishment in Bogotá. They've left their tienda in the capital in the hands of their daughter and have opened one in Pacho, on Calle 8 #9-24 to be precise. Do drop in and say hello if you happen to be in the town!)

As for El Peñón, as an exercise in niksen, it can be said that it served that purpose on a number of levels. One big pull factor for that what-to-do brochure.
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Hooked on the BBC (or CCP, if you will)

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

It's often how it goes. A person overcomes one addiction then another, for better or for worse, comes along to fill the void. (For background, see Coming clean on my Colombian.)

Just can't enough of that good old BBC ...

China in my hand

To be truly accurate — as I always strive to be — my current BBC addiction isn't actually new. I more than dabbled in it in my Ireland days. It's just that it has become particularly acute here in Colombia.

I think I'd find it very hard to live in the country, or Bogotá at least, without it. Be it work or pleasure, this BBC or, for those of another tongue, CCP fix has become a cornerstone of pretty much everything I do.

Now some people would say it's not the worst addiction in the world to have, as long as one doesn't rely on it solely. And I don't. I do balance it out.

Nevertheless, one could always do better when it comes to such things. Indeed, a good test to see how reliant — perhaps harmfully so — one has become on something is to try to do without it. On this score, well just the mere thoughts of doing without the BBC for any protracted period make me uncomfortable (protracted in this sense is in the region of 48 hours).

You see the BBC — Beer, Bread and Coffee, or its Spanish equivalent for where I'm based and following alphabetical order, CCP (Café, Cerveza y Pan), not to be confused with the Chinese Communist Party — is a staple for me.

'Some say it's the only time Colombian bread from a standard panadería is edible, when it's still warm from baking.'

It's the bread and coffee part in particular that I can't see myself easily giving up — if there was a desire to do so, that is. The beer, on the other hand, well unlike the other two, it's not a daily delight.

I also think that in the right circumstances and/or environment i.e. having my own comfortable accommodation and not living in Bogotá, I could relatively easily get by without beer. Or at least drink less. Going without bread and coffee is another thing altogether.

This is the problem — some may not view it as a problem per se — when one uses a panadería/bakery as an office on a daily basis. It's like an alcoholic going to work in a pub.

OK, a good coffee or three a day may, as some studies have shown, do more good than harm to one's overall health. The same can't really be said for the bread on the side, not the majority of bread baked in Colombia in any case. (Dr Pradeep Jamnadas wouldn't be impressed.)

'There are, however, worse addictions to have, such as CNN.'

Yet, the floured fusions are hard to resist, especially so when they've just come hot out of the oven.

In fact, some say it's the only time Colombian bread from a standard panadería is edible, when it's still warm from baking. After a day or so, regardless of the type really, it seems to become fairly bland. (Although, worryingly so as it suggests the bread is pumped with preservatives, it doesn't tend to mould.) Similar to some women I've dated here, it could be said.

'I can't believe it's not coffee!'

Regarding my daily coffee, the quality of it in my current "office" is, as far as I'm concerned, as good as you'll get in some of the more renowned establishments. Snootier types, however, might turn their noses up at it. There's an assumption, based on a long history of this being the case in fairness, that panadería coffee is ordinary at best.

The greca: Wanted for crimes against good coffee. (Image from https://laferiadelagreca.com.)

Thankfully, though, a good number of panaderías have embraced machine brewers, consigning those metal grecas with their tendency to produce tasteless, I-can't-believe-it's-not-coffee coffee to the scrapyard. (Personally, this has become more important over the last few years as my brew preferences have changed. It's no longer an 80/20 coffee/milk split, it's more like 99/1. Thus, the coffee has to be flavoursome and strong.)

As for the beer, well Poker — or on occasions Águila or Costeña or, when in Paisa land, Pilsen (they're all pretty much the same) — could win awards for being one of the best and reasonably priced mediocre lagers around. It humbly does its job.

In this regard, like the BBC media group and the political CCP my BBC — the beer and bread anyway — is of ordinary quality. Perhaps not the greatest but not the worst either.

It's also killing me softly, no doubt. Sure aren't we on the countdown to death from the moment we're born anyway?

There are, however, worse addictions to have.

With CNN — cocaine, noodles and Nutella — for instance, one is left brain-dead within days. That diet combination may seem nonsensical. But that's CNN for you.
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The liberal illusion

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

'Yes, we shall set them to work, but in their leisure hours we shall make their life like a child's game, with children's songs and innocent dance. Oh, we shall allow them even sin, they are weak and helpless, and they will love us like children because we allow them to sin.

'Freedom on our terms.' 

We shall tell them that every sin will be expiated if it is done with our permission, that we allow them to sin because we love them, and the punishment for these sins we take upon ourselves. And we shall take it upon ourselves, and they will adore us as their saviours who have taken on themselves their sins before God. And they will have no secrets from us.

We shall allow or forbid them to live with their wives and mistresses, to have or not to have children — according to whether they have been obedient or disobedient and they will submit to us gladly and cheerfully ... and we shall have an answer for all. And they will be glad to believe our answer, for it will save them from the great anxiety and terrible agony they endure at present in making a free decision for themselves. And all will be happy ... except the hundred thousand who rule over them. For only we, we who guard the mystery, shall be unhappy.'

As some of you will be aware, the above passage is from The Grand Inquisitor, a mini-story in Fyodor Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov.

One would like to think that most will see its relevance to today's world.

A "safe" and sorry lot

Considering everything we've witnessed over the last couple of years, it would appear many are indeed happy to submit to those who rule over us. 

Why worry about having to make a 'free decision' for oneself when the powers that be can take care of all that? One is given certain wriggle room, a modicum of freedom 'to sin', no more, no less.

What's really wanted — not unreasonably so — are safety and security, not freedom. Thus, it's not quite 'better be safe than sorry'. It's more a case of 'better to feel safe in the hands of a greater power than to be free.'

'Such "liberals" must have to perform some spectacular mental gymnastics.'

In this light, it explains why many people who describe themselves as liberals went unquestioningly along with lockdowns. 'Oh, nobody likes them but they're for the greater good.' That was the gist of the mantra that was sold to the masses and the majority bought it without the merest of critical assessment.

Surely genuine liberals would have wanted to be as certain as one could be that such an attack on liberty was worth the significant sacrifice. 

It became obvious early on in the pandemic, to those still thinking soundly in any case, that covid-19 was a severe and potentially deadly infection for only a small percentage of society.

What wasn't fully known was the cost of extensive lockdowns — not just economically but in all aspects of life and death — although there were numerous dissenting voices telling us to tread carefully, this blog included.

In this context, 'playing it safe', liberal style, surely should have meant doing our best to keep life as normal as possible. Yet governments across the world, with consent from many of their citizens, did the opposite. (In slight mitigation, the minions were constantly fed worst-case scenarios.)

'As we should all know, however, identifying as one thing is quite different from actually being that thing.'

It's a similar story with the covid-19 vaccines. It was clear that a not-insignificant number of the population had robust natural immunity to the infection.

So again, one would have thought that those of a supposedly liberal persuasion would factor this in before endorsing, punitively, vaccine mandates. Nothing of the sort was forthcoming. (The slight mitigation here is that at the start of the vaccination rollout hopes were high that the jabs would be something of a silver bullet for all. It soon became clear that this wasn't the case.)

Then there's the response to mad Vlad's (Vladimir Putin that is) decision to send his troops into Ukraine.

That the West's hawkish right-wingers have jumped at the chance this war has presented to denounce all of Russia and its evil ways is no surprise.

What is surprising, though, are the efforts of many of our so-called liberals to outdo the neoconservatives in this regard. It seems some want to remove Russia and its people from the planet completely.

On the flip side, Ukraine and Ukrainians can do no wrong whatsoever. And they never have done any wrong. To suggest otherwise is blasphemous. I guess I was missing that day in religion class when we learnt all about the saintly, chosen people of Ukraine.

'If I say it, it's true'

These "liberal" double standards are nothing new, of course. I recently happened upon a 2002 interview with the late writer Christopher Hitchens where he spoke of such mental gymnastics performed — 'liberal illusions' as he called them — in the minds of his liberal contemporaries.

He explained how such types had to ignore many glaring illiberal practices of three fêted liberals who had been his chief targets, calling out what he considered their hypocrisy, so to put it. These individuals were Mother Teresa, Princess Diana and US President Bill Clinton. (Watch the video at https://youtu.be/93vTib-WWvs. The part relevant to this text starts around the 27-minute mark.)

One assumes that many who call themselves liberals do so because it sounds virtuous. It has non-threatening connotations.

It's much better than labelling oneself as a radical leftist — even if that shoe appears to fit well. Or saying, on the other hand, one is a libertarian or a neoconservative.

As we should all know, however, identifying as one thing is quite different from actually being that thing.

One's constitution and actions are what really count. Many, though, like to illude themselves on this. And as long as their conduct and values fit inside the accepted framework, they'll never be truly challenged on it.

A win-win for all. Except for the free-thinkers.
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