Tuesday 11 September 2012

Unsocial media

A few years back we made a public call, via a newspaper letter and its subsequent broadcasting on radio, asking that the use of mobile phones be banned in public places. 

The main reason for this came about after numerous bus journeys in our native Ireland where people were yapping away for all to hear about their latest weekend escapades or what have you. 

It appears that the boundaries between private and public conversations become blurred for some people when they speak on their mobiles. 

Our letter plea was well received in many quarters at the time – someone felt it even warranted a Noble Peace Prize nomination, we kid you not. Alas, however, there has been very little corrective action in this regard, be it in our native land or further afield.

A selection of some very 'smart' phones.
Many people's new best friends - compact & intelligent.
Now, while our appeal wasn’t really penned in a humanistic sense, more in a curmudgeonly way to be honest, the case for restricting mobile phone use for the good of our species can certainly be made.

Yes, there is little doubt that mobiles have revolutionised the way we connect and communicate with each other – in many ways for the better – but you must ask the question, is it at the expense of face-to-face interaction? The anecdotal evidence would suggest yes. 

If people aren’t talking on their cellular, then the likelihood is that they are either ‘pinging’ somebody, listening to music, messing around with some sort of app or whatever else they can do on these fancy pieces of plastic (you’re right, we’ve yet to be bitten by the smart-phone bug). The ‘real’ person sitting beside them doesn’t exist any more. 

OK, judging by many of the conversations we’ve overheard such as the ones alluded to in the opening paragraph, we wouldn’t be that keen to speak to such people anyway, but there might be some individuals who are worth the effort. The mobile, though – especially more advanced models – has become a barrier to in-the-flesh communication.

This is particular apparent in pubs and bars. The chance of a random chat with somebody has been greatly diminished in recent years. 

When people find themselves on their own, rather than look for somebody to talk to or at least be available for a chat, they go to the comfort of their phone for company. (Why would anyone miss out on the chance to converse with 'Wrong Way?)
The Facebook 'like' symbol - how could you not like it?
Thanks Facebook - we, um, like you, too.
Now you might say that radio and TV have also had a negative impact on real, physical interaction, but not as close to the extent as the new-age phones together with the social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter have had. 

Radio is obviously far less intrusive and demanding than TV but for its part, the ‘great conversation stopper’ in the corner can often be the source of conversations, especially in public houses.

You really can’t say the same for mobile phones while Facebook and its ilk are even more harmful to natural communication. 

People will waste away hours of their time virtually chatting to friends and acquaintances at the expense of actually going out meeting somebody in person. For social beings that most of us are, that can’t be good for body or mind.

Another worrying aspect on the Facebook front is that it can actually be quite damaging to some people’s mental health, especially those at a low point in their lives. 

It can, at times, paint a picture that all your connections are having a wonderful time while your life is banging along at the bottom. But instead of logging off and heading out which would seem the sensible thing to do, these people stay hooked in, becoming in a sense new-age, social network voyeurs.

This kind of behaviour can be particularly damaging in the context of a recent romance break-up. It certainly doesn’t help you to move on from somebody if you subject yourself to constant updates and photos of the daily happenings of the person you once loved – or maybe even still love. 

In fact, in a previous article (see: Mi Amor’ – or perhaps not?) we jokingly had a go at how some Colombian female acquaintances are quick to delete you from Facebook if things turn even slightly sour. Perhaps, though, they’re right if moving on is what they want to do.

Of course, social network sites, mobile phones and all these things are just tools – they are not inherently evil in their own right. It’s how you use or, more importantly, misuse them that’s at the heart of the matter here. 

From our point of view Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn have helped us gain and maintain a plethora of contacts across the globe. Without such outlets, these new connections would have been next to impossible to not only sustain but to find in the first place.
The 'Where did it all go wrong?' Evolution/devolution poster.
Replacing a wife for WiFi - the latter is more reliable, for one.

However, virtual communication should not come at the expense of real-life, face-to-face contact. If we let this happen, we'll all end up like the person sitting at the computer at the final stage of that ubiquitous evolution poster. Hermits - but with technology.

2 comments:


  1. It is really good this article, and it’s true! I’ve been thinking about this issue for some time lately … Facebook actually is something that is blocking somehow nowadays the chance to meet someone in person, face to face… that kind of ‘social’ networks … and I don’t think is social at all. My father who passed away unfortunately about 2 years ago when he was 75 years old, he used to tell me that in old times when you wanted to talk … or to chat for real, you needed to go to a club, and it was always possible to chat with someone.. In my modest experience nowadays is not so easy to find a woman who can be really interested to talk… just to talk… now they think that you want ‘something’ .. .and for some reason it’s so difficult to talk in a disco, a pub, or even in a classroom … the idea that we can connect with someone through facebook… is totally wrong now in my point of view. I used to have an account in Facebook but about 2 months ago I decided to delete or to deactivate my account cause actually it’s not possible to delete completely your account, it’s in the terms of usage in facebook itself.
    Something good is when you are talking without the necessity to be exchanging facebook profiles or anything ‘virtual’. At the end of the day it can be really complicated … just like you said.. what’s gonna happen if you had a relationship with someone you got her on facebook, for some reason that persons is still on facebook with another relationship… and you are looking all the pictures… feeling really bad cause you can be perfectly in love yet, and that’s not nice..! or what’s gonna happen if you had a relationship with someone and then that person decide to delete you completely from her life including the whole connection that you could have had in the past… that’s not nice either! .. . or what’s gonna happen when you got a lot people very happy … uploading wonderful pictures of wonderful places… and flowers and sunshine .. and beaches… and bitches … etc. and if you are not feeling good, how do you feel looking all the pictures… all the words … of the wonderful life of some people? … that sucks!... it is not nice at all. If a relative is worried about you… and a relative wants to be in touch with you I think even on the internet there are more human ways to speak with someone… like Skype… but in my opinion is really easy to be reminded about a birthday … to write something or a simple ‘happy birthday ‘ from my people who perhaps don’t really care at all.
    I disagree completely with Mark Zuckeverg who is often trying to explain that his network is helping to create a better world, and I don’t think is gonna create a better world when people is not willing to call somebody, a relative.. to really hear her / him voice … to really show emotions … behind Facebook there’s no emotions, the only thing that we can find is almost all the time wonderful things… cause you can’t post anything negative or depressing… cause most of the people are going to drop you out … cause 20% of the people are going to be glad if you are depressed… 70% don’t really care… and the rest… don’t wanna hear a thing about you ..
    About twitter, I’ve got an account that recently I decided to open but just to receive news … cause I think it’s kinda like the ‘RSS’ technology, but I don’t publish there if I’m defecating or not in the bathroom… although some people do that.
    This was a really good article Brendan!...
    Besrt wishes for you! …
    Your Chilean friend,
    Felipe.

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  2. Thanks as ever for taking the time to comment Felipe. Of course we are using this 'new-age' technology to communicate right now, but I'd like to think this blog is different!
    As mentioned in the closing lines, Facebook, Twitter and such social media are just tools, as people we must have the intelligence & understanding to realise when they are having a negative impact on us and be able to step away.
    Unfortunately, some people seem unable to do this - a 'virtual addiction' if you will.
    The point of all this, as you agree, is that this virtual communication must not become a full-time replacement for real-life, person-to-person communication. Getting out meeting people, talking to them, observing them, that's what we should be aiming to do. Even if it's not people you're meeting, just getting out of your house/office and exploring the real world out there is much better than sitting in front of a screen.

    Gracias de nuevo por tu comentario Felipe.

    Saludos desde Bogotá,

    Un abrazo,

    Brendan

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