Christening conservative Colombia

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

'I'm glad to see that all of the children being baptised today have been given saints' names.' 

That was the opinion of the priest who presided over a recent group christening that I attended in Bogotá's Verbenal neighbourhood.

'Do as I say, not as I do.'

Name of shame

The authoritarian, haughty man of the cloth — I thought the Catholic Church's foot soldiers were meant to act more humbly these days? — had been, um, pontificating about some of the more bizarre names people give their offspring nowadays (in between berating attendees, people who had paid good money for a service in which they were being talked down to, for glancing at their phones and allowing their children to wander about the outdoor gathering).

Apparently, so Padre Wilson informed us, somebody was christened Covid of late. I agree with him on the silliness of that one — although if he (or she, I'm not sure) goes on to hold the world to ransom despite being quite a weak individual all things considered, well then it will be an apt name.

That aside, the priest's line may help to explain why Colombians tend to be rather conservative when it comes to naming their children. 

With the odd exception, something we discussed in a Bogotá Nights episode, name-giving here follows very traditional lines. In contrast, one only needs to look at neighbouring Venezuela to find a more, let's say adventurous attitude to this whole area.

Colombia's conservative approach fits in nicely with the nation's overall psyche. As I've touched on before, someone who might be seen as a leftist liberal in these parts would be considered as being on the other side of the political spectrum in many other countries.

'Listening to Padre Wilson belittle the congregation at the baptism was like a primary school teacher addressing unruly yet naive pupils.'

What's more, there is often unquestioning respect for figures of authority. Like Ireland up until a couple of generations ago, what the Catholic Church says here carries considerable weight, outside of affairs in the bedroom that is.

Toe the line

Listening to Padre Wilson belittle the congregation at the baptism was like a primary school teacher addressing unruly yet naive pupils. 'Follow my lead and you'll be saved, little ones.'

With heads bowed in shame, the flock accepted its shortcomings. Father knows best. (And to underscore this superiority, the seven families in attendance, each having already paid for the christening, were encouraged to hand over more cash when the collection basket was passed around. Great work if you can get it.)

Of course, actions speak louder than words and all that. It's not like the majority of Colombians are pious Christians, even if they are still genuine believers in Christ. It's more a case that the less taxing, what we could call more superficial elements of the Church's teachings are, um, religiously followed. With that, very few seem willing to go against the power-wielders, even if it may be in their interests to do so.

On a broader societal level, every now and again we'll have protest movements. At times it even feels like something might change. Yet with the same energy and speed with which they start, they also peter out. The reality is that there seems little genuine enthusiasm to alter the status quo, despite what might be said.

Compliant, conservative Colombia dominates. Change is fraught with danger. It's best not to do it.

Remember, it's not just the crazy names that you risk importing from Venezuela. It might start innocently enough with a Geoberty or a Rolangeli or the like, but where would it all end? Father knows best indeed.
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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

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Wrong Way's Loser and Winner of the Year Awards

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

Yes, it's that moment you've all been waiting for, the Wrong Way Corrigan Loser and Winner of the Year Awards 2020. We've had plenty of contenders for the former, the latter has been much more difficult to choose. Basically, we've had a dearth of outstanding candidates.

Our Loser of the Year brought about our Winner of the Year. (Photo from Facebook.)

Amazon high

It has, of course, been a year that most people will probably want to erase from memory. Not everybody, though. There's Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, for example. He's had a bumper 12 months. Ditto for those holding the purse strings at Facebook, Netflix and Zoom.

Also, a fair few folk in the First World's comfortable classes — their public mutterings of enduring an annus horribilis aside — have seen their lot actually improve, from a financial perspective in any case.

OK, it's not all about money. I've certainly had to keep on telling myself that this last while in any case. Alas, it doesn't tend to wash with many Colombian women. 'Instead of that fancy restaurant, how about a litrazo of Poker in the barrio tienda? No? Really?!' They'll come round, they will.

Anyway, let's get to the awards, starting with our Loser of the Year.

Xi's the man

The obvious choice for many here is outgoing US President Donald J. Trump. He certainly, um, trumps the lot for sore loser of the year. Indeed, he didn't actually lose the presidential election so he and many of his supporters tell us. 

Whatever the case, he won't be residing at the White House after 20 January, we can be pretty sure of that. Thus, he is a loser, but it's not enough for him to take our gong.

No, the Wrong Way Corrigan Loser of the Year Award is going east, to China to be precise. As the head of a country that initially buried its head in the sand when news emerged of a novel, easily transmitted and somewhat lethal virus at large, Xi Jinping is our top failure.

Not only that, but once coronavirus was let out of the bag (or is that lab? Or wet market?) and reached the four corners of the globe, Xi did what the Chinese Communist Party does best at home: suppression. 

Thus, contagion was curtailed in China while it flourished outside, aided and abetted by a dithering World Health Organisation kowtowing to Beijing.

'Our Loser of the Year and other world leaders did much to ensure Alan scooped the top prize, but credit where credit is due.'

This dithering behaviour proved to be as contagious as coronavirus itself, as governments across the world followed suit. Cue pandemic pandemonium and cures more damaging to society as a whole than covid-19, the infection coronavirus can bring about.

For all that, together with China's backfiring wolf-warrior diplomacy which is only serving to deepen mistrust abroad about the CCP's intentions, Xi Jinping is a worthy Loser of the Year.

Crowning glory

And now for the big one, our Winner of the Year. Many have waxed lyrical about the darling of world leaders, New Zealand's Jacinda Ardern. She's done well in some areas for sure, but in terms of being a global champion, that's stretching things.

There can really be only one winner. Some will accuse me of picking this individual simply because he appeared on my podcast.

For sure, I was delighted to have him on as a guest, but it's disingenuous to say this played a part in my decision. I'm far more balanced than that.

So, our Winner of the Year 2020 is — no, not Niall Ferguson — it's "Alan", aka coronavirus.

For sure, our Loser of the Year and other world leaders did much to ensure Alan scooped this accolade, but credit where credit is due. It may have been an open goal of sorts, but he still had to tuck it away. And that he did with gusto.

He has, quite literally, touched the hearts and minds of millions of people across the planet. At the risk of being facetious, his modus operandi hasn't been to everyone's liking and there are many who certainly wouldn't put him in the winner's enclosure.

Nonetheless, in terms of world dominance in 2020, be that good, bad or indifferent, no one else comes close.

What's more, his emergence may have just given humanity a timely heads-up to get our act together before something far more deadly comes along.

In a divided world, one doesn't hold out much hope that we'll take great heed of this warning.

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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

Facebook: Wrong Way Corrigan — The Blog & IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz". 

Western leaders' crimes against humanity

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

Each year throws up its surprises that catch us off guard, leave us badly exposed. From a global perspective, this year has, um, trumped them all since, arguably, the end of World War II.

Guilty of crimes against humanity? (Photo from Facebook.)

Covid contradictions

Along came a relatively mild, easily transmitted virus from the east that overwhelmed much of the world, save for a few savvy Asia-Pacific countries.

It's not like those who are meant to be calling the shots weren't warned, however. Larry Brilliant, for one, had been sounding the alarm bells well over a decade ago — if only we'd listened and taken heed.

We didn't. Leaders and public health officials in heretofore respected developed nations showed their complete lack of preparedness for something that, despite what they like to tell us, is not 'unprecedented'. Pandemics are nothing new.

Of course, the unprecedented nature of this coronavirus has been how those nations reacted to what is, mercifully, not a terribly lethal killer for the vast majority of the population. Initial inaction was and continues to be followed by overreaction.

What's more, the best comedy writers in the world couldn't have come up with some of the contradictory, unfathomable measures that have been imposed on the masses in order to curb the spread of the virus.

'Instead of continuing to play fast and loose with the lives of so many whilst enjoying six-figure sums in their own comfortable bubbles, our leaders should be in the Hague for crimes against humanity.'

In Ireland, for example, they've had restrictions on the number of households that can mix contrasted with children going to school where they mingle with an untold number of others.

Then there's the fact that you can have an alcoholic beverage in a public establishment as long as you're eating something with it. A pint of beer in a pub without a meal that costs over nine euros is a big no-no.

As most epidemiologists will tell you, coronavirus doesn't like those flashy types who dine out — "he" is a more modest character. Those having nothing more than a liquid lunch, though, prime targets. It would seem our microscopic visitor is more intelligent than most of our leaders.

Making a killing

It's a tad amusing listening to and reading about all this from a relatively relaxed Colombia. The powers that be here seem to have come to the conclusion that while deaths attributed to covid-19 will continue there are so many other life-or-death issues to contend with that we just have to get on with things.

The coronavirus monomania that had afflicted Colombia's leaders in the early days of the pandemic appears to have subsided somewhat.

You see, death comes to us in a variety of ways. When our governments and health officials overly focus on one aspect, the result is that other life-taking conditions prosper.

So, while we can chuckle from afar at the incompetents imposing absurd, harmful restrictions in my home country and elsewhere, there are very serious elements to it.

The mortgaging away of the futures of our young and active ages, the countless — as opposed to the very much "counted" deaths attributed to covid-19 — life years lost, the deepening of the divide between the haves and have-nots.

Instead of continuing to play fast and loose with the lives of so many whilst enjoying six-figure sums in their own comfortable bubbles these leaders, Messrs Johnson, Macron, Martin, Varadkar et al., should be in The Hague for crimes against humanity.

Maybe that's one pleasant surprise 2021 can bring us. One can only hope.

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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

Facebook: Wrong Way Corrigan — The Blog & IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz".