Playing the 'yes man'

We can be accused of many things here – and have been – but being ‘yes men’ is not one of them. If we feel something isn’t right, we normally don’t hesitate to let our feelings be known about it. This is especially (but not exclusively) so if it’s something that directly affects us.

Mr Burns - fooled by 'yes men'.

Indeed, we’ve always seen it as a positive thing that we can openly express our feelings without fear of obvious open retribution. Many people throughout history have fought, and died, often in vain, to gain such privileges.

However, after spending much of our adult life thus far crying foul where we’ve seen fit, at times we now wonder if things would have been much easier, in many aspects, if we’d held our fire on some of those occasions. That is, not to ‘rock the boat’ you might say.

It’s certainly mentally taxing fighting ongoing written and verbal battles; and that’s when you feel like you’re winning or at least getting somewhere. If you’re in retreat, things can be pretty demoralising, making you wonder why you bothered with your course of action in the first place.

Of course, everybody gets annoyed about things at some stage, but not all of us will go on the attack at the first sign of a slight or an alleged wrongdoing. Best practice in most cases is to, at least initially, hold fire.

Some, however, can bite their lip indefinitely. This is especially so when it comes to work related incidents, where you might be dealing with a ‘higher power’ or those in control of the purse strings. 

You could call it a tactical, smart move in a way. Stay onside with the ‘important’ ones in your work life, particularly those in the hiring and firing end of things.

We’ve seen such a strategy work for many friends and colleagues – privately they might be seething over a certain issue but publicly they put on a smiley face and get on with things. This, though, is something we often struggle to do. If something bugs us, we tend to let our feelings be known.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with such, what you might term frankness. In fact, it can be healthy in many aspects. How you go about it, though, can be the difference between alienating yourself and gaining respect.

Best practice is to think before a hit.

In general, immediately tackling an issue in an aggressive manner – in a verbal and/or written context we’re referring to here – might not win you much favour, be that in the short, mid or long term. 

Letting things play out a little before you respond could be seen as a good rule of thumb. In a way it’s trial and error. On some occasions ‘striking’ first is the better option – although, experience says initially playing it cool tends to be the smarter choice for the majority of situations.

Outside of knee-jerk, emotional reactions usually not being the most effective, you also might need to take some time to make sure your ire is aimed – if it needs to be at all – at the right person. Even a nation state equipped with one of the best intelligence services in the world can get this wrong – Iraq is not Afghanistan, you know.

For we all have the ability to strike a blow; the key is in knowing when and where to hit, or not as the case may be, to get the result you want. 

Holding steady and playing the ‘yes man’ can at times be the smarter move.