Seventh heaven: Seven benefits of living in Colombia

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

I've let it be known many times before how Colombia can be bad for one's health and well-being — or my own, at least.

The high life: Wrong Way is a fan of Colombia's highlands.

For one, there are the ubiquitous panaderías with their constant supply of fresh-but-of-dubious-quality bread that can be hard to resist, especially when it's just out of the oven.

Then there's cheap barrio-tienda beer. Its affordability often encourages those of a certain disposition to imbibe more than is advisable. (In mitigation, it does promote socialising. If one is going to drink, isn't it better to do so in a public house rather than at home? There's surely a mental health benefit to be had.)

We've also got apartment complexes and their complexes i.e. their many ridiculous rules. The mentally and physically damaging playing of loud music often goes unpunished yet prepare yourself for the firing squad if you dare to air clothes at the only window you have that the sun reaches. Well, if not quite the firing squad certainly a fine will be forthcoming.

And let's not forget the largely non-existent customer service, although this isn't exclusive to Colombia.

'You don't have to go out of your way to eat healthily here.'

I was going to include the difficult damas, the complicated chicas, but thanks to my frigidity these days, such stresses are a thing of the past.

However, in recent months the antics of some frenemies have taken their place. My ability, nay willingness, to trust people has taken a hit in these lands. I do, though, still tend to take folk at their word until proven otherwise.

Now, in light of the previous, one might think that I actively seek out negatives, that I'm a fan of self-flagellation so to put it. Not at all. It's not that I'm a sucker for punishment that I've stayed in Colombia this long. Honestly, it's not.

The following, in no particular order, are some of the main reasons why I've been captured, in a good sense, by Colombia. (Yes, I could have used captivated instead of captured but captivated is a bit too quixotic for me!) These seven benefits have played their part in my reluctance to let Colombia go.

Fresh fare sourced locally

When it comes to the bare necessities, Colombia has an abundance of relatively cheap fruit and vegetables available all year round, most of which are grown in the country. So you don't have to go out of your way to eat healthily here. And the grub doesn't have to travel too far to get to you either.

One significant snag, though, is that we can't be sure about the safety of any pesticides these natural goodies may be dosed in during cultivation. Unless we grow our own from scratch — impracticable for many — we just have to hope that the chemical balance is tipped in our favour health-wise.

Independent living

Now, there's no point in having access to a range of fresh produce if you rarely have the time to cook. For the average working-class, city-dwelling Colombian, this can be a challenge.

However, some foreigners from higher-income nations who come to settle here are often engaged in work that comes with generous me-time, more so than they would most likely enjoy in their birth country anyway.

Fresh fare: The food looks good. Hopefully it's not riddled with harmful chemicals.

The likes of native English speakers who teach the language can usually expect to earn a decent hourly rate. So they can do fairly well without having to work the long hours forced upon many locals.

It's even better for those who are paid in one of the world's stronger currencies whilst based in Colombia.

Alas, having grown tired of English teaching and not having a foreign-currency income to rely on, I haven't exactly been rolling in it of late.

Nonetheless, with my rather minimalist lifestyle — it comes naturally — I have been able to maintain my independent living to a greater or lesser extent, replete with regular, refreshing bouts of travel around Colombia.

While the fallow periods can be worrying, I'm happier to ride them out than return to work as a wage slave. One is open to all serious offers all the same!

Rentafácil

Those fallow periods just mentioned, of which there have been many of late, have been offset somewhat by, whisper it, a rather generous savings scheme.

Banco Caja Social's Rentafácil, literally easy income, has been at inflation-busting interest rates for some time, offering much better returns than the CDTs I wrote about in 2020. My cautious, doubting nature is waiting for the catch but so far, so good, it seems.

Shrewder investors will most likely find fault with the Rentafácil or view it as an amateur investment. All I can say is that if the interest it's accruing is all mine to enjoy then I'll be quite content (it is, by the way, an instant-access scheme but I haven't withdrawn any funds yet).

Active at altitude

Whatever about the future of the returns on my Rentafácil, they're unlikely to take me to the high life socially speaking. Colombia's topography, on the other hand, offers plenty of natural highs.

'In Bogotá, only the very sensitive to cold might want home heating at night.'

And while it's far from certain that living at lofty altitudes is better for one's overall health than life around sea level, I at least think that the high-ish life has been good for me. And if I think it hard enough, I can make it the truth, can't I?!

In fact, at times I feel that Bogotá, at 2,600 metres above sea level, isn't high enough. So I'm considering setting up a new base camp in Colombia — if, that is, I can make it financially sustainable and the country continues to be my home.

One option, um, high on the list is Güicán, a town I recently visited and enjoyed, perched about 400 metres closer to the stars than the capital.

Fun in the sun

Speaking of being closer to the stars, Colombia's location in the tropics ensures that the sun's strength provides sufficient vitamin D throughout the year.

Even during Bogotá's rainiest days the sun usually shines sufficiently for the average person to soak up enough of this immune system booster.

This can't be said of my native Ireland and other similar places.

Goldilocks zone

Mentioning Ireland, for large parts of the year a heat source is usually needed to keep people warm inside.

In Bogotá, only the very sensitive to cold might want home heating at night. Those aside, if one feels cold, an extra item of clothing and/or some physical movement should warm one up sufficiently. The same goes for most Andean locations at an altitude of roughly 1,500 to 3,000 metres above sea level: a Goldilocks temperature all year round.

For places at the lower end of that range, finding ways to cool down is the main issue. Well above 3,000 metres, one can expect to prepare for occasional night frosts. And because many of Colombia's buildings are poorly insulated, it can often be colder inside than outside.

Inside outsider

As for inside and outside, in my beloved working-class barrios and pueblos, I usually feel like an inside outsider.

That is, with the local people who know me, I'm not just another random foreigner. I'm viewed more as a part of the community. Yet, I can still maintain my distance and play the foreigner card (not the gringo one!) when needs be.

Now, this is the least one might expect after almost 12 years based in a country. However, settled immigrants don't always become accepted, be they in Colombia — in certain places more so than others — or around the world. This can be due to an immigrant's own behaviour, the locals' attitude or a mixture of both.

During my time in Colombia, I feel I've found the right inside/outside balance.

Some, though, argue that I've become too cosy with working-class Colombia to the detriment of my career and financial development. There's merit to that.

Yet, taking all the above into account, Colombia has been a more positive experience than a negative one. Maybe other places offer all these benefits but have fewer negatives. If so, do let us know about them!
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Free love and sexual fluidity: Queer today, gay tomorrow

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

A guy I was recently working with told me that he is in a polyamorous relationship with a woman.

His partner had been in a lesbian romance, but she left that to start this open arrangement with him. Obviously, both of them are comfortable with the idea. It simply couldn't work otherwise.

For some, any hole is a goal.

Pride (in the name of love)

One thing this guy didn't mention — and I wasn't really bothered to ask considering I'm not that prurient — is whether or not he, like his prime partner, enjoys same-sex intimacy. My inkling is that he doesn't.

While I've never been in such a relationship — not by consent anyway — it did get me thinking about the whole concept and how I'd feel about playing a part in it.

I would be more accepting of the idea if my partner were doing her sleeping around with other women. I wouldn't be at all comfortable with the thought of her having sex with men.

I wager — and some academic studies on the subject back this up — that most heterosexual men share such sentiments.

My male mind had thus led me to hypothesise that most heterosexual women in an open relationship would prefer their man's additional partners to be men. However, anecdotal evidence and a number of research papers suggest this is not so.

A case of, it could be argued, women wanting their male lovers to be manly. Men having gay sex tends to go against this notion.

The, um, pride of many men, meanwhile, would take a significant hit if they were to discover their female lover was sleeping with rival males. Yet, a lesbian transgression may in some instances excite the dominant male.

Defenders of the unfaithful

All this does beg the question — particularly in a time when sexual fluidity for all genders appears to be flowing more freely than ever — are we, those of us from a Judeo-Christian tradition in any case, too tied to monogamy?

As many strive to live a life as close as possible to 'as nature intended', is having just one partner for the majority of our lives somewhat unnatural?

'How much this anchoring to monogamy is nature and how much is nurture is difficult to know.'

In a 2012 blog story that looked at the influence of Catholicism in both Colombia and Ireland, I explained how Vatican policy regarding sexual intercourse has had a longer history of being ignored in Colombia than in my birth country.

Back then, I surmised that the seemingly more liberal Colombian approach as regards sex might indeed be more natural but not the best when it comes to raising a family. That is, not the best when just one parent is, quite literally, left holding the baby.

Even though Ireland is far less conservative in this area than it was when I came into the world in the mid-1980s, monogamy is still generally seen as virtuous, in word at least.

Of course, infidelity is often a reason for the breakup of a relationship or marriage. So if polygamy were viewed less grievously, if it were more accepted, infidelity would lose much weight as grounds for separation.

For many of us, however, such a change of mindset wouldn't come simply. How much this anchoring to monogamy is nature and how much is nurture is difficult to know. It is, of course, the current standard for most of humanity, with an estimated two per cent of the global population in polygamous households.

That being so, those in what is meant to be a monogamous relationship who end up two-timing often do so impulsively. They don't set out to be unfaithful.

Thus, the injured partner can be more accepting of and forgive a transgression if the desire to do so exists.

For as much as monogamy is seen as desirable, most realise that it has to be worked at all the same. At times it requires willpower. And sometimes, some fail.

Roman rule: Anything goes

There is much less wriggle room and understanding when it comes to sexuality.

As already referenced, there is usually little to no leniency shown by a female partner to a once-perceived heterosexual man who is found to have been unfaithful homosexually.

'In Ancient Rome, it seems that bisexuality was standard, at least for those with citizen status. An any-hole-is-a-goal approach.'

This is chiefly because most people today still view sexuality as fixed, innate, not fluid. One can't be queer today, bi tomorrow and heterosexual the day after.

Yet, a glance at history suggests it hasn't always been thus.

In Ancient Rome, for example, it appears sexual fluidity was the norm, as the British historian Tom Holland pointed out in a recent interview:

'There’s a description in Suetonius’s imperial biography of Claudius: "He only ever slept with women." And this is seen as an interesting foible in the way that you might say of someone, he only ever slept with blondes. I mean, it’s kind of interesting, but it doesn’t define him sexually. Similarly, he says of Galba, an upright embodiment of ancient republican values: "He only ever slept with males." And again, this is seen as an eccentricity, but it doesn’t absolutely define him.'

'What does define a Roman in the opinion of Roman moralists is basically whether you are — and I apologise for the language I’m now going to use — using your penis as a kind of sword, to dominate, penetrate and subdue. And the people who were there to receive your terrifying, thrusting, Roman penis were, of course, women and slaves: anyone who is not a citizen, essentially. So the binary is between Roman citizens, who are all by definition men, and everybody else.'

So going by this, in Ancient Rome, it seems that bisexuality was standard, at least for those with citizen status. An any-hole-is-a-goal approach.

OK, as Holland's insight implies, some Romans were heterosexual and some homosexual, but these are seen as outliers.

Like other traits, one's sexuality is most likely on a spectrum, as the Kinsey scale, for one, measures. (For more on that and other scales see https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexuality-spectrum.)

What's more, there is a belief among some scholars that one's position on the spectrum can change over time. That may be so. Or it might be that some people are more of the anything-goes variety when it comes to sexual pleasure.

Right now, I can say I'm in a healthy asexual relationship. And I'm certainly not in the free-love brigade. It would take somebody special to, um, knock me off these pillars.
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