Colombia and Ireland — a tale of two old Catholic countries

One of the connections that can be made between Colombia and Ireland is the significant influence the Catholic Church has had on the two countries. Now, while this can be seen as a similarity, how that Roman authority manifested itself in both states has been quite different.

It’s true to say that, these days, the Church’s power is very much on the wane in the two republics, perhaps much more so in Ireland than Colombia based on what we’ve seen and who we’ve spoken to here in the latter location. 

However, after dominating for so long, the residue of its long reign remains pretty strong in the minds of those brought up with its teachings.

Sure just showing up for religious events is all that's needed, right?

In terms of how Catholic each state has been, it could be said that in the last 20 years or so, in an Irish context anyway, we’ve been outwardly drifting away from Rome yet inwardly staying quite close to the Church’s beliefs and morals. 

From our experiences here in Colombia, the opposite appears to be the case. Outwardly, many profess to be ‘strong Catholics’, yet in reality, their day-to-day practices betray this.

What we’re really getting at here are attitudes to relationships and, perhaps more appropriately in this regard, sex. It has been well documented – mocked even – the traditional Irish reluctance to just talk about sex let alone see it as something enjoyable/recreational. 

Sex before marriage, in line with Catholic thinking, was a big no, no. It should be used as a means to procreate, no more, no less, within a secure family unit. 

You don’t have to go back too long in Ireland’s past to find a time when the local priest – and by extension, the Catholic Church – was one of the most respected individuals in the community. His line on a host of issues, including sex, took precedence over many others.

In this context, considering most "Fathers'" lack of practical knowledge in the whole sex area (let’s leave all the abuse scandals out of this for now) an awkwardness, embarrassment even, on the subject permeated through Irish society. 

The effects of this may be losing significance in 21st-century Ireland but it’s true to state that, for some, the old uneasiness about love-making remains.

Contrast this with Colombia. As alluded to above, numerous people here – and we’re talking specifically about those in their early 20s up to their late 30s – speak and superficially act a good Catholic game, something you’re less inclined to find among those in the same age bracket in Ireland. 

Basically, they are regular churchgoers and bless themselves all the time with that double or treble sign of the cross manoeuvre followed by kissing their thumb or something like that. It certainly looks the part, as if they mean it.

Just missing the 'ours' Mr & Mrs Brady.

Yet, their attitudes to premarital sex – thankfully, many might say – are far more liberal, free-spirited if you will. 

No doubt they are aware of Rome’s line on the subject but because, perhaps, it just doesn’t seem to make natural sense to them, they overlook it. It could be seen as one good instance where the Colombian tendency not to stick to the "rules" is beneficial.

Expanding into relationships in general, the number of ‘mine, yours and ours’ Catholic/Christian families here in Colombia seems to be, anecdotally speaking, practically the norm. That is a family where the mother has a child/children from a different relationship (the mine), as does her husband (yours) while they also have offspring that they created together (ours). 

Then, of course, you still have plenty of single-mother families where the father provides support – if he does at all – from a distance while he also caters for the other children he has with other women. You can be hard-pressed to find a family where both parents are in their first marriage and any children they have are "products" of both.

We’re not saying that the traditional family unit is all that exists in Ireland – of course not. But in general, an Irish husband and wife do appear to be more reluctant to go their separate ways, especially when there are children involved, compared to Colombians – in a number of cases that’s often to the detriment of all involved. Sometimes it’s better for mind and body to realise the game is up.

'Father knows best, my child.'

So two old Catholic countries they may be, but how that association has shaped their social development has been quite different. 

It could be argued that the Irish tendency to maintain the traditional family unit is better for society in general.

However, our traditional awkwardness, if you will, of the whole sex area has had mixed results. 

In one, perhaps positive, sense, it may have seen us take a more considered approach regarding whom we jumped into bed with – it may have, that is. In another way, for some, the art was practically demonised. Not too healthy for mind and body that.

Issues and problems are bound to arise when you take counsel from those who know relatively little about the subject area in question. 

As many Colombians have learned, sometimes it’s best to go with your natural instincts.

*For related articles, see: "'Mi Amor' - or perhaps not?" http://bit.ly/NsJyB5 & 'Strength in Belief' http://bit.ly/OPvJBC