I am neurodivergent. But of course!

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

While I find it hard to see myself back in full-time employment, as an employee that is, any time soon — if ever — every so often I see a job vacancy that piques my interest.

Most of these questions require more than a simple yes or no answer.

And if the application process is not too tedious, I'll apply. My guiding motto in such cases, particularly in relation to journalism and media gigs, is that it's better to be a known unwanted than an unknown unwanted. I used to say loser instead of unwanted, but I now think that's a bit too harsh. Just because somebody doesn't want me, this doesn't make me a loser, does it?

Truth presenter

With that in mind, I figured I might as well let Human Resources at BBC Radio 5 Live know that I'm willing to be considered for the role of Chief Presenter currently being advertised. Were the station looking for just a mere presenter, I may not have bothered applying. I'm above such mediocrity at this stage.

As it is with many major employers these days, the initial application has to be made online via the BBC's own career portal. Having used this portal before for previous applications, details such as my employment history are already saved to my profile.

Normally, the only fields that require attention are questions related to the specific job being advertised at the time. In this latest case, one is probably expected to give a different answer as to why one is suitable to be a Chief Presenter as opposed to why one would make a good Presenter. 'I perform better when I'm overpaid and underworked' is my approach to the former.

Also falling under the BBC's job-specific questions are those related to a candidate's socio-economic background, health and wellbeing. I guess it makes sense. One's health and wellbeing between job applications could take a turn for the worse. Or for the better. (The BBC calls it a Disability Questionnaire but, as we'll see, that's a debatable title.)

'Does a gentle but rather annoying years-long pain where my left leg meets my buttocks count? It is a pain in the arse anyway.'

Nonetheless, it's almost as if these questions are included as nothing more than a box-ticking exercise. There's no scope to go into greater detail. It's like somebody asking you how you are when they actually couldn't care less. They certainly wouldn't want to get a truthful reply.

Differently abled

For example, there's the statement 'I am neurodivergent' to which one is obliged to respond. Like all the others in this section, it can only be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'. My preferred answer would be 'Yes, but it depends what you mean exactly.' We're all neurodivergent, aren't we? What's neurotypical, after all?

Then there's 'I have a learning disability: yes or no?' Well, I probably do. For one, I often think I'm a slow learner. Or I certainly wish I could read faster and still retain much of the information in the process. That I can't do so is something I consider a disability, particularly when compared to those who not only seem to be voracious readers but also have great information-retention faculties. There is the possibility that such types are just better spoofers than me, though.

Next on the list: Do I have a physical impairment or repetitive strain injury? Does a gentle but rather annoying years-long pain where my left leg meets my buttocks count? It is, I can say with certainty, a pain in the arse. Or in that general region anyway. I've been told by people who know more about these things than I do that it could be an issue with my piriformis. 'Sorry, you haven't been considered due to your poor piriformis.' Story of my life.

How about a speech impairment? I do sometimes struggle to find the right words, which can be, um, what's the word . . . Frustrating?

I also regularly pronounce words incorrectly, although the English language does allow a little more wriggle room in this regard compared to my now second tongue of Spanish. I believe, however, that the Spanish world should make more of an effort to accommodate my accent and pronunciation. Come on, if Chilean Spanish is acceptable, then Wrong Way Corrigan Spanish should be more widely tolerated.

So with all these, it would be nice if the BBC's job portal allowed one to give more thorough responses. We are talking about a corporation that has its celebrated Verify fact-checking service after all. The BBC, of all media groups, should know that a question can rarely be properly answered with a simple yes or no.

I look forward to pointing this out in person when I get shortlisted for an interview for this Chief Presenter position.
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