The wages of love

'There are two chief ways a man can have sex — pay for it or get it for free. I've come to the conclusion that it's cheaper in the long-term — and indeed short-term — to pay for it.'

Now, I won’t take credit for that quotation – nor indeed do I want to – but I have to say it’s beginning to make a lot of sense for me of late. 

Who actually first said it, of that I’m not sure, but it was relayed to me by a close friend some years back. And while I always thought it was an amusing quote, I never really appreciated its true value. Until now that is.

Up until a few weeks ago, I thought the days of men paying for everything on dates with the fairer (or should that be not very fair) sex had long gone. Even here, in South America, my experiences heretofore had been pretty balanced when it came to picking up the tab on nights out with women. Indeed, on many occasions, as a frugal backpacker, the settled locals wouldn’t let me pay for anything. Great work if you can get it, eh? 

I’m seeing the other side of things now, though. And that side comes in the form of an extremely attractive, 21-year-old Medellín-born Bogotá resident.

Nice view, but where is the love?

It’s at that early stage where I’m still wondering if she's just using me to have free nights out – you know, the rich (if only she knew), white Western guy – or does she genuinely have feelings for me. 

Two dates down and about $120,000 Colombian pesos less well-off (roughly €45, but put into context six nights' accommodation in a Bogotá hostel — cheers to the Cranky Croc, there) and the doubts are beginning to creep in. 

Yes, it’s early days. But no we haven’t slept together yet — the lack of private accommodation on my part and a strict Christian grandmother on hers have put paid to that. Well, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Now, from what I know of her so far, she seems pretty cool and she’s somebody I’m willing to give it a go with — my pretty average Spanish makes up somewhat for her poor English. 

In fact, for once I feel I’ve the slight upper hand on the language barrier front. It’s the fact that when it comes to paying the bills, my money’s the only one that talks in this budding relationship — I’m finding that a bit unsettling, especially considering I’ve yet to get a job here if indeed I will at all. 

Yes, it’s the culture here and if I genuinely like the girl I should have no qualms about it — but for how long will it go on this way? 

Is it worth, quite literally, going for broke in a country where gorgeous women rival in number the millions of dollars Pablo Escobar amounted in his prime. Well, maybe not as much as that, but there are plenty of beautiful ladies here all the same.
 

You see, I have it on good authority that for the same $120,000 pesos that I have thus far "invested" in my little beauty, you can call into the many strip clubs here and take your pick. 

OK, it’s a one-night stand (well, a whole night might be pushing it at that price). However, unlike a relationship that you invest time and effort in but might ultimately end in failure, you’ll have no baggage.

Of course, the strip club way is easy. For many, the thrill of the pick-up is what counts; spotting the girl you want, the initial flirting, the apprehension as to whether or not you’ll get your "prize", the satisfaction when it works out, the disappointment when it doesn’t.

But it can’t disguise the fact that you pay for it either way. One way by stealth — dating being the official term I believe — the other being a more open, transparent way where the rules are a bit more clear-cut.

I suppose it comes down to what you want from it all. If it’s only about satisfying your short-term needs, the clear-cut way should suffice. 

However, if you’re at that stage where you feel it’s time to give a relationship a blast — warts and all — the roller-coaster lifestyle of the dating game awaits, if you’re lucky. Or is that unlucky? Of course, you can always dabble in both.

Time and — more pertinently, perhaps — money permitting that is.