My true Bogotá love

Considering the, um, pop star-esque lifestyle I lead, I've been reluctant to get into a lasting relationship. You know, I'd lose a certain appeal (don’t laugh) if I was suddenly no longer 'on the market'.

However, it's time to come clean. To be honest, I had been trying to tell myself that this wasn't real love, it was all just a passing phase, but it's been obvious for some time now that this is not the case. In fact, it's well over two years since we started seeing each other and it's been as steady as the best of them.

Love is all around ...

It wasn't quite love at first sight, but things quickly got off the ground nonetheless. We've already got past that initial 'scaffolding building phase' and reached the point where we're now comfortable seeing each other much less than at first; a sign of a mature, real, trusting relationship that, something that's not easy to find, especially in a country where jealousy and insecurity are commonplace.

Now, she wouldn't be seen as the classiest in some people's eyes, but that's not a concern from my point of view. What's more, she's far from high maintenance — indeed, she's usually fairly generous, much more so than the average Colombiana, even with her limited resources (the very odd time she might ask me directly for money, but she's learning not to).

She has been a little improper with some of my expat mates — this is not to say she's unfriendly, it's just best if she only has to deal with no more than a couple of foreigners at any one time. 

She's also largely viewed in a bad light by those who may have never met her but have heard about her. But hey, who doesn't have a dark side? And love making one blind or impairing sound judgement this is not, I hasten to add. I just prefer to accentuate her positives, of which she has many.

It's not my style to make public declarations of love, yet my dearest La Perseverancia, you have been my Bogotá standard-bearer since we first accidentally crossed paths back in 2013. More reliable and understanding than any woman.

Regardless of what the future holds in store for us, you'll always have a special place in my heart.
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Unreliable Republic

Things have started to stabilise a little for me here of late. Well, about as much as they can stabilise for somebody with a wanderlust mind in a not-very-reliable and at times frustrating country. Everything is relative.

Wrong Way's back! And almost getting used to how things operate here. Almost.

A major part of this stabilisation has been the securing of a visa, and at that, appropriately enough, an independent one. 

No relying on an unstable (here we go again) Colombiana to say that we're 'together', a route favoured by some other expatriates, nor being beholden to a close-fisted company. No, for now, I'm just depending on my own closed fist to get by – as well as the help of some friends, of course.

Even before the visa was bagged, I took a calculated gamble and invested in what practically all enterprising (and the not-so-enterprising) Colombians have – business cards. At $30,000 COP (about €12) for a thousand not-bad-quality ones, it didn't seem that much of a risk anyway.

You see not only are they a nice, somewhat professional, 'weapon' to have when in the company of people who you could possibly do business with, but they also come in handy in a wide range of social scenarios. 

Plus, when you're a hard-pressed journalist/writer, any opportunity to spread your name and potentially attract new followers has to be taken; one might as well try anyhow.

Now, it must be pointed out that they're not being fired out willy-nilly. In a city and country where the level of English in general is quite poor, it obviously wouldn't be the wisest thing to give them out to all and sundry. 

There are certain criteria, with a chief one of these being that the recipient has to have a pretty decent level of English so he/she can actually read my articles here and elsewhere. Yet, I wouldn't be being entirely truthful if I said I apply that criterion equally between the sexes; I can be a little bit more accommodating towards some ladies.

Indeed, in relation to making contact with women here, business cards or not, best practice it seems is to cast the net far and wide. Like bungling fishermen in overfished waters, what you get back is often disappointing. Or it might initially look good but on closer inspection, it lacks any real substance; badly damaged leftovers from another's catch.

But, as we've always been told, there are 'plenty more out there', so the net invariably goes out again.

The Colombian landscape usually doesn't disappoint.

A good rule of thumb when you do get what seems like a nice 'return' is not to discard any, even if you think you have your hands full. 

That's because, as alluded to, some of those juicy-looking ones will turn out to be experienced 'game fish' – slimy operators who like to play silly games, which tend to lead to frustration. Therefore it's essential to have a healthy number to pick from. That way you might just avoid a famine; you're certainly unlikely to have a feast.

This also works in many other spheres here, such as private English teaching. On an average day if you were to schedule at least three classes for the exact same time you more than likely won't have a problem – in fact, if you're lucky you'll just manage to land yourself one class. On other occasions, you'll be left with none.

It can take some time to get used to it but you don't come to Colombia for life on Easy Street. Sure it's good to challenge yourself and all that. For, its conservative politics excepted, about the only other thing you can rely on here is the unreliability of the place.

Once you reach that epiphany and come to accept it, things can then begin to, erm, 'stabilise'. Everything is relative after all.