Replacing religion's false comforts

It wasn't quite billed as a clash of titans, religion versus science, but with the Rocky walk-on music, it hinted that we might be in for something special.

In the end, what we got was a rather tame affair — shadow-boxing if you will. There were a few reasons for that. For one, the format certainly didn't help.

After opening statements, each man was given separate, alternate questions to answer. So it made it difficult for a robust, heated encounter to develop. A time limit on those answers would have done no harm either.

Clash of the heavyweights - well, not quite ...

Another reason why sparks weren't exactly flying is that the opposing sides weren't actually that much opposed to each other — at least that's how it appeared.

We're referring to Javeriana University Bogotá's "debate" titled 'Is God an illusion?' (¿Es Dios una ilusión?). 

The protagonists were Colombian Jesuit priest and author Father Gerardo Remolina and the British evolutionary biologist, author and atheist Professor Richard Dawkins.

We more or less knew what we were going to get from Dawkins.

It was Fr Remolina who surprised us somewhat. He basically came across as a man of reason and some science who just happened to have made a good living from something he doesn't entirely believe in. Or if he does fully believe in it, he's not very convincing.

He effectively reduced all the core tenets of Catholicism to symbols. 'Is God an illusion?' 'Well, what is God?' 'Eh, you tell us, Father.' 'Does heaven exist?' 'Well, what is heaven exactly?' OK, we're using a bit of poetic licence here but many of his answers to questions that are at the core of Christianity were abstract, to say the least.

This aspect to proceedings did not surprise us. He had a fair idea of the gallery he was playing to. (In one way, at the risk of being facetious, it was like the 'That would be an ecumenical matter' scene from the Irish sitcom Father Ted.)

It would have been much more entertaining to have a fundamentalist Christian from Bible Belt USA on stage. A creationist to the core. Their phoney arguments are much more engrossing. 

It's not for nothing that the influence of the traditional Christian churches is on the wane. These new guys on the block have a far sexier story to sell. And selling it they certainly are. There's money in that crucifix, you know. (They definitely would have felt at home with the Rocky entrance music anyway.)

Of course, religion's greatest strength in the face of rigorous scientific enquiry is the comfort it provides. It's a release from the trials and tribulations of this mortal world we toil in.

It tells us that there is something more than our present existence, something greater. It can give hope in the midst of despair. Who cares if the evidence suggests otherwise? Remember, 'happy are those who have not seen yet still believe.'

Stony-faced science, in contrast, can leave us cold. Take Dawkins' rebuttal to that comforting aspect of religion, quoting the Canadian cognitive psychologist Steven Pinker: 'If you're being chased by a tiger it may comfort you to believe it's a rabbit. But it's a tiger and it's going to eat you.' Doesn't tend to leave one all that chirpy, does it?

Yet, science isn't in the game of emotions. It's about truth-seeking. Fantasy and fiction, on the other hand, by definition operate without the inconveniences of having to prove themselves. In this regard, a fantastical story of everlasting life is generally going to appeal more than the theory that when we die, that's it.

Religions across the world, despite the many glaring holes and contradictions in their stories (it's not called 'having faith' for nothing), still trump atheism.

Thus, when asked if he felt we were coming near the end of religion, Dawkins said he can only hope that that's the case. The reality, however, suggests we're still some way off that juncture at this stage in our development as a species.

Some people might ask, 'So what? What's the big deal?' As we wrote about before, getting personal comfort, strength even, from belief in a higher power is one thing — what you do in private is your own business after all. Forming whole societies based on religious doctrine that doesn't stand to reason is quite another thing.

We're not going to take up space here disputing the argument that a religion-free world would be some sort of immoral, violent backwater.

Coming back to comfort, it's not like an atheist is devoid of it. Science can provide it. And it's arguably a more reassuring one than what religions offer because it comes more from fact.

Take an individual's very existence. It's a remarkable achievement in itself when we consider all the things that had to happen by chance to actually get us on this planet. Isn't that something worth celebrating and living for? Not to mention making the most of it for the short period we are here.

What's more, it could be argued that parents have a lesser need for religion than childless, singletons (even if, in reality, the opposite seems to be the case). Who needs a god or organised religion when you have your children and later, perhaps, grandchildren to get behind, your raison d'être?

So a world without religion doesn't have to be a gloomy, hopeless, meaningless place. 

Remember, it's only in recent years that the more established religions, from a Christian perspective in any case, 'jazzed up' their message to the masses. In the not-too-distant past, the stick was preferred to the carrot. 'It's God's will or it's eternal damnation.'

Atheism can be appealing, too, liberating even. Don't dismiss it right out of hand.
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'Mi amor'. Or perhaps not?

There is that old saying that actions speak louder than words. In most cases it holds true. In the game of love, you would think this is especially so. It’s relatively easy to utter the words ‘I love you’, but to actually mean it, backed up by deeds, is a different thing entirely. 

'Mi amor'. But where are you?

In Colombia, however, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Romantic sound bites are all the rage here. Both sexes roll them off the tongue effortlessly and there are many to choose from — mi amor (my love), mi vida (my life), mi cielo (my heaven/sky) to name just some.

Harmless stuff, you might say, and in essence it is, if you don’t take it seriously — a good rule-of-thumb that for most relationship-related things in this country. But for somebody who likes to live an honest life, the emptiness of such pronouncements is a tad nauseating. 

We can certainly play the game — to pick up, there tends to be no alternative option. It doesn’t take away from the fact, though, that it is all usually meaningless. 

This shouldn’t surprise us, however, as a number of Colombian women are about as shallow as the Pacific Ocean is deep. Image and posturing is everything. And when they decide they want to hang with a guy for a period of time, they must be fretted over constantly. 

In fact, their actions give a lot of support to the notion that equality between the sexes is a pointless pursuit. Where’s the equality when the man pays for everything?

In our ‘Colombia’s false friends’ post a couple of weeks back, we spoke about the two extremes you get in women’s behaviour here: The aloof type who you won’t hear from for weeks on end; or the ones who expect you to be on-hand 24/7 to cater for their every need. 

It must be pointed out here that these characteristics are not mutually exclusive. 

Indeed, if you find yourself on the receiving end of the cold-shoulder treatment, it more than likely means that your little chica is all over somebody else. Like a good dog, though, she’ll come back to you — for a time. 

Until, that is, another one of her grandmothers is dying, yet again. Something that might lead to your removal as a friend on Facebook. It’s an obvious reaction, right? Your grandmother has died so you delete your Irish ‘friend’ from a social networking site — a logical part of the mourning process that.

So little wonder that many Colombian men have a few women on the go at once. Not to do so is just plain unwise. 

It’s a bit of a vicious — or benign, depending on how you look at it — circle in operation. The women have such unrealistic demands and expectations, coupled with acute jealousy and insecurity, that they invariably push their man away, thus giving credence to the belief that the men are unfaithful. The lack of trust on all sides is palpable. 

One of the big problems is that relationships tend to start off at an unsustainable breakneck speed, meaning fatal crashes are habitually inevitable. The softly-softly approach doesn’t come into it whatsoever.

Now, after a time both observing as well as getting our toes wet in a romantic context here in Colombia, the question of incompatibility comes into it. 

Are we just programmed so differently compared to the Latina locas that trying to engage in a meaningful relationship is a senseless practice? Well, that’s certainly one conclusion to be drawn from it all. 

Mary: Green light to infidelity.

However, in all the superficiality and frustrations of the dating game here, a much more honest issue raises its head. That is the belief that it’s just not feasible — or healthy — for human beings to ‘stick’ to one partner for life. It goes against our basic instincts. 

Are we living a lie trying to think differently, that you can be happily faithful to one partner for all your life? The evidence would indicate so. 

We’re not suggesting breaking up the family unit altogether, but perhaps the stigma attached to extra-marital affairs shouldn’t be as strong as it is in many Western societies. A change every now and again is good. 

In fact, being away from someone or something for a while often makes you realise how much you rely on and appreciate that person or thing. True love never dies and all that. 

Heck, even the ‘Virgin’ Mary got so frustrated with Joseph that she hopped into bed with God at the first opportunity — it seems an honest carpenter is no match for a man that has it all. Considering all the hassle that has followed, she probably wishes she hadn’t ‘transgressed’.

That aside, maybe we should all, quite literally, enjoy our ‘relationship-rides’ while they last. Just don’t get too caught up in it all. And perhaps it’s best to leave the love superlatives out.

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For a related piece, see 'The wages of love'.