Bienvenidos a Medellín — 'Bangkok light'

As Colombia’s, officially speaking, second city, Medellín has plenty to offer. Indeed, for many visitors, it has no rival, not just in the country but even in South America. 

Dubbed the ‘City of Eternal Spring’, the climate is one of the most favourable you’ll get around these parts. The average annual temperature of 22 degrees Celsius ensures you don’t get the chills of Bogotá while it never gets as uncomfortably hot as it does on the Caribbean coast. 

This pleasant weather is thanks mostly to its position, 1,500 metres above sea level in the northern Andes, replete with a setting as stunning as any location across the globe. It has a relatively healthy mix of Western affluence and Latino colour while the city’s murky underworld past appears – on the surface at least – to have dissipated. 

Getting around the place couldn’t be easier with the very efficient integrated metro system. Indeed, we’re not aware of any other metropolis that offers a cable-car service as part of the everyday transportation system – a very cheap (less than US$1), safe and novel way to get stunning views of the city.

The high life: Medellin's cheap & efficient Metrocable.

All this and we haven’t even mentioned the natives, the ‘Paisas’ – for many, speaking from a male point of view, the main reason to come to Medellín and the surrounding areas. 

In a country famed for its gorgeous women, the Paisas are the crème de la crème - arguably one of the most attractive, distinct groups of people in the world. But what started out as a major pull factor, is now fast becoming a drawback for this beautiful city.

You see, once you’ve discovered you’ve got an asset, you can either nourish it or abuse it. Alas, for the Paisas, it seems a significant number is choosing the latter. It’s that age-old Latin American affliction – the desire for short-term gain to the detriment of long-term success. 

For many of Medellin’s stunning ladies, they’ve discovered there’s a quick buck to be made from their looks. So for a city that once prided itself on hard work and enterprise, many of its more prosperous barrios are following a more direct route to financial stability: sex tourism.

Of course, a market can only thrive if it has sufficient customers. This isn’t an issue here, especially considering Medellín’s relative proximity to the "big-money" players from North America. And once this industry kicks off – as any visitors to Thailand will tell you – it can be hard to curtail. 

Even if there is a genuine affection, a cash injection of some sort is expected. As far as the locals are concerned, not to do so would be criminal. In such an environment it is hard not to be cynical as regards finding true romance.

Now, not every Paisa woman is ‘playing the game’, so to speak. There is a handy scale in operation – not particularly Medellín specific – that’s worth bearing in mind:

At the lower end are the fours – these are your full-on prostitutes or pagadas, women you pay to accompany you for a period of time. This is a money-up-front job, no ambiguity here. 

Next, you have the threes – not quite prostitutes, but maybe more sinister. These will try to take money off you by stealth – for example, spike your drink and steal from you – and many are linked to Medellín’s mafia. You might "get lucky" once or twice with one of these, but they’re best to be avoided. 

The twos are less dangerous so to speak, but most in this bracket have a very hard time finding their purse. Plus, as far as these women are concerned, the idea of being faithful to somebody only exists in fairytales – especially if you are from the Western world.

Finally, we have the much sought-after, but lesser-spotted, ones. These tend to be from pretty well-off backgrounds and a little more conservative than the above. 

If you do manage to make it with a one, then you’ve pretty much made it. They’ll take you under their wing; insist on paying more than their fair share. Genuine sorts. A negative might be that they may try to over-mother you, but all done with the best of intentions.

As with any scale/theory, it’s open to interpretation and as ever there are exceptions for each category. However, it’s certainly a good guide to bear in mind. 

It was brought to our attention by the Basil Fawlty-styled owner of the delightful Arcadia Hostel in Medellín’s swanky Poblado district – an area renowned for its nightlife and the place where most tourists/extranjeros stay, making it the unofficial sex-tourism centre. 

Indeed, for many visitors on a short-term jaunt in the city, the party scene doesn’t go much further than there. If you get the chance, though, checking out some of the less-visited barrios is well worth it – things tend to be more authentic in such places, usually.

In any case, you’ve always got the cheap and cheerful Metrocable to enjoy.