Hostel lookers

There is no such thing as a free lunch, so it is said. However, in a number of Bogotá’s ubiquitous hostels, you can get a free breakfast. 

Of course, we’re not that naïve to actually believe this. It’s included in the price, no more, no less. 

Still, though, it’s a little extra not to be scoffed at — or to be scoffed as the case may be. And with so many hostels vying for your custom — in La Candelaria alone (the historic centre) every second establishment appears to be offering accommodation – little things such as a token breakfast can make all the difference. 

Not that many of the ‘desayunos’ on offer will set you up for the day, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Never mind a 'free' brekkie, give us a BBQ.

So what else sets the various hostels apart? Why should you pick one over another? Well, the answers to those are case — and, indeed, time — dependent. 

We all have different needs and wants. What one person might regard as an ideal spot is another’s nightmare. However, there are certain basic requirements that practically all of us look for, regardless of the price you pay. 

For most people, security, both in terms of the building and for your personal belongings, is crucial. Secure, decent-sized personal lockers are a must together with 24/7 reception. 

While some like to get a personal set of keys to enter and exit their temporary residence as they wish, in the interests of all guests, a buzzer system is more secure, ensuring staff must always monitor those who are coming in. From our experience, the majority of La Candelaria’s hostels score high in this regard — you really shouldn’t expect anything less.

Having sufficient bathrooms for a booked-out hostel certainly helps keep everyone happy. If you’re in a private room with a toilet and shower, this isn’t a problem. 

However, if you’re dorming it, this can be an issue if the facilities are lacking. Three bathrooms between a potential twenty or more guests is pushing it to say the least. 

It helps, of course, if the actual toilet is separate from the shower, as you’ll find in some, but not all, of the more established places. Plus, we are speaking about Bogotá here and not the Caribbean coast, so hot water when you do shower is a more than reasonable expectation.  

Free internet access is a pleasant little extra. The majority of hostels have Wi-Fi which is great if you have your own laptop or smart phone. However, having free-to-use, in-house computers is a nice touch that, surprisingly, not all of the better-known places provide. If you’re trying to keep costs down, not having to pay for internet use is a help.

No Wi-Fi? Madness!

When it comes to the party hostels, La Candelaria is best described as tame on this front, especially compared to what’s on offer in some of Colombia’s and indeed South America’s other cities. 

This, however, as far as we are concerned, is not really a negative. Many of the popular spots organise night outs on a very regular basis in the city’s happening haunts. So why party in a hostel when you can get out and about and mix it with the locals? 

Another benefit of this is that if you’re not in the mood to boogie, you can get your night’s sleep in relative comfort — save for a few of the drunken revellers stumbling back into your dorm room. If you can’t beat them, join them, eh?

If your budget is tight, there is plenty of value to be found in Bogotá’s historic centre. Basic dorm rooms can be got from as little as 17,000 pesos (about €8) per night up to 25,000 pesos (over €11). That’s an 8,000 pesos swing for more or less the same facility. 

So if you’re planning on spending more than a few days in the city, a healthy saving can be made if you shop around. Plus, it’s well worth checking out if your hostel can offer you a discount for a longer stay, something that many but, alas, not all are willing to consider.

You'll certainly get plenty of smiles (and perhaps more) in Brazil.

Now, with so much choice of establishments available offering in essence the same product, does it really matter which one you opt for? Well, it’s always nice to feel welcome and wanted, especially when you happen to be paying for a service. 

Some hostel owners, though, appear to think that because it’s budget accommodation, a service with a smile is not required — a ‘take the money and run’ kind of attitude. This, we don’t like. 

Perhaps, with some, a smile is an additional extra. With others it might — alongside the breakfast — be included in the price. Or maybe it’s just free. 

Do ask before you commit. Questions should cost you nothing.

Bienvenidos a Medellín — 'Bangkok light'

As Colombia’s, officially speaking, second city, Medellín has plenty to offer. Indeed, for many visitors, it has no rival, not just in the country but even in South America. 

Dubbed the ‘City of Eternal Spring’, the climate is one of the most favourable you’ll get around these parts. The average annual temperature of 22 degrees Celsius ensures you don’t get the chills of Bogotá while it never gets as uncomfortably hot as it does on the Caribbean coast. 

This pleasant weather is thanks mostly to its position, 1,500 metres above sea level in the northern Andes, replete with a setting as stunning as any location across the globe. It has a relatively healthy mix of Western affluence and Latino colour while the city’s murky underworld past appears – on the surface at least – to have dissipated. 

Getting around the place couldn’t be easier with the very efficient integrated metro system. Indeed, we’re not aware of any other metropolis that offers a cable-car service as part of the everyday transportation system – a very cheap (less than US$1), safe and novel way to get stunning views of the city.

The high life: Medellin's cheap & efficient Metrocable.

All this and we haven’t even mentioned the natives, the ‘Paisas’ – for many, speaking from a male point of view, the main reason to come to Medellín and the surrounding areas. 

In a country famed for its gorgeous women, the Paisas are the crème de la crème - arguably one of the most attractive, distinct groups of people in the world. But what started out as a major pull factor, is now fast becoming a drawback for this beautiful city.

You see, once you’ve discovered you’ve got an asset, you can either nourish it or abuse it. Alas, for the Paisas, it seems a significant number is choosing the latter. It’s that age-old Latin American affliction – the desire for short-term gain to the detriment of long-term success. 

For many of Medellin’s stunning ladies, they’ve discovered there’s a quick buck to be made from their looks. So for a city that once prided itself on hard work and enterprise, many of its more prosperous barrios are following a more direct route to financial stability: sex tourism.

Of course, a market can only thrive if it has sufficient customers. This isn’t an issue here, especially considering Medellín’s relative proximity to the "big-money" players from North America. And once this industry kicks off – as any visitors to Thailand will tell you – it can be hard to curtail. 

Even if there is a genuine affection, a cash injection of some sort is expected. As far as the locals are concerned, not to do so would be criminal. In such an environment it is hard not to be cynical as regards finding true romance.

Now, not every Paisa woman is ‘playing the game’, so to speak. There is a handy scale in operation – not particularly Medellín specific – that’s worth bearing in mind:

At the lower end are the fours – these are your full-on prostitutes or pagadas, women you pay to accompany you for a period of time. This is a money-up-front job, no ambiguity here. 

Next, you have the threes – not quite prostitutes, but maybe more sinister. These will try to take money off you by stealth – for example, spike your drink and steal from you – and many are linked to Medellín’s mafia. You might "get lucky" once or twice with one of these, but they’re best to be avoided. 

The twos are less dangerous so to speak, but most in this bracket have a very hard time finding their purse. Plus, as far as these women are concerned, the idea of being faithful to somebody only exists in fairytales – especially if you are from the Western world.

Finally, we have the much sought-after, but lesser-spotted, ones. These tend to be from pretty well-off backgrounds and a little more conservative than the above. 

If you do manage to make it with a one, then you’ve pretty much made it. They’ll take you under their wing; insist on paying more than their fair share. Genuine sorts. A negative might be that they may try to over-mother you, but all done with the best of intentions.

As with any scale/theory, it’s open to interpretation and as ever there are exceptions for each category. However, it’s certainly a good guide to bear in mind. 

It was brought to our attention by the Basil Fawlty-styled owner of the delightful Arcadia Hostel in Medellín’s swanky Poblado district – an area renowned for its nightlife and the place where most tourists/extranjeros stay, making it the unofficial sex-tourism centre. 

Indeed, for many visitors on a short-term jaunt in the city, the party scene doesn’t go much further than there. If you get the chance, though, checking out some of the less-visited barrios is well worth it – things tend to be more authentic in such places, usually.

In any case, you’ve always got the cheap and cheerful Metrocable to enjoy.