Colombia, vote V.E. Blanco for real change

Oh, what exciting times we have in Colombia. Election fever is in the air. In early March we've the curtain-raiser, the congress 'deciders'. Then in May, the big one gets underway, the first round of the presidential contest. For the record, a second round won't be needed if one candidate takes more than 50 per cent of the vote, but that's unlikely.

As ever, wily Wrong Way has been keeping a close eye on proceedings. (Not to blow our own Trump-et here, but we did foresee Trump's victory, as well as signalling the strength of the 'no' vote in both the Colombian peace agreement plebiscite and Brexit.)

Voto En Blanco: Your only man!

A bit has changed since we looked at the early candidates in the running. Nonetheless, despite all the other movers and shakers, 'Poker Petro' and 'Pilsen Fajardo' are the ones to beat going by those never-again-to-be-trusted opinion polls.

Well, they lead the way if you discard a certain V.E. Blanco, Voto En Blanco. He — and rest assured it is a 'he', Colombia's not ready for a lady president just yet (sorry Marta Lucía) — is polling quite strongly, even topping some.

While many may be quick to dismiss him, thinking he's a bit of an enigma or worse still a fraud, there are solid reasons to get behind him (more so than the others we could say).
Here's why:

A president for all

Blanco ticks all the boxes you want him to. For those few Colombians in the loony left brigade, he is unashamedly 'Castrochavista'. There's no need for public denials as to the existence of this brand of socialism. Let's be honest, Venezuela is giving the left a bad name. Blanco's Colombia will make socialism sexy again. (It was sexy once, wasn't it?)

Conversely, Blanco can be as right-wing as they come, something that will please many Colombians. He can proudly wax lyrical about the great work the right-wing paramilitaries, paracos, have done and are doing, by any means possible, to ensure those aforementioned bearded lefties are kept down.

What's more, he won't have anyone snooping around asking awkward questions. 'Firm hand, big heart', or something along those lines.

A man you can trust

OK, trust and politics don't make easy bedfellows whatsoever, but Blanco breaks the mould here. We can rest assured that when we put our 'X' after his name (we're going to try and sneak a vote or two in), he won't break his 'campaign' pledges.

How so? Well, it's simple really. He doesn't make any promises. There's no, let's say 'miércoles', or horse manure if you will, with Blanco. The rest of the candidates would do well to follow suit. 

Cheaper than changua 

The Colombian president's salary currently stands at US$250,000. That's a whopping $711,560,441 Colombian pesos. A bog-standard worker here would do well to get more than $10,000,000 a year, seventy times less than the top dog. In comparison, the salary for the president of neighbouring Ecuador is a more modest US$75,000, while in Venezuela, officially anyway, it's at just under US$25,000.

Putting Blanco in Casa de Nariño, the presidential palace, would cost nothing. Blanco can live off Bogotá's, um, fresh air. In fact, we could open up the palace to Colombia's myriad of homeless. Even let them have a little go at running the country. They couldn't do much worse than what's gone before, could they? 

It's decided so. Voto En Blanco for president!
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The independent traveller's guide (of sorts) to Guaviare

Broadly speaking, there are two types of travellers: Those who do some sort of planning, research if you will, before getting to their destination; and those who just rock up to a place, a kind of 'see what happens' approach.

These days, I tend to find myself more in the latter camp. It's part of the adventure really. If I've to plan for a break, something that's meant to be relaxing, it can almost take the fun out of it.

On top of this, I usually prefer travelling alone. I find it quite a release to hop on a bus companion-less, heading to some destination I know very little about and where I don't know anybody on arrival. A chance to get away from it all and lose myself in my own thoughts.

The view from the top of one of the many large rocks at Ciudad Piedra.

Thus was the style of the recent visit to San José del Guaviare, the dusty small town and capital of Colombia's Guaviare department.

Up until recently, the place was generally regarded as being off limits to not just tourism but pretty much any unnecessary visits. It was a 'zona caliente', that is to say, a hotbed of violence in Colombia's internal conflict.

In Bogotá, across the stratum divide, this view still seems to hold for many. "Be careful going down there" was the refrain from most, as it is when one goes to many regional outposts. Now, by area, it is a big department, about the size of Croatia actually, and I only explored a small section of it around San José, so I can't speak for it all.

Yet, what I did experience was nothing but friendly folk in an environment that felt anything but threatening. Indeed, in terms of having personal belongings stolen, the chances of this happening in San José seem pretty remote. Alas, we can't say the same for the country's capital.

The biggest problem with the place — which in some ways is paradoxically a plus — from that independent, off-the-cuff traveller perspective, is that the tourism infrastructure isn't quite in place (yet). If you haven't signed up with a tour company, getting around to see the many wonderful sights can prove to be a bit of a headache.

Of the fledgling tour companies in operation, Geotours del Guaviare is one that I had the pleasure to chat with and get some useful information on my second day there, by accident as it was albeit. However, doing tours on your own with these can be pretty expensive (though, if you're coming with dollars or euros in your back pocket, it won't seem too much at all).

On our way to the refreshing natural wells with the help of Saúl ...

Nonetheless, where there's a will, there's a way and all that. So while I was given a chance to go on a group tour with one agency, sticking to my independent guns, from San José's main square I contracted a motorcycle taxi guy (cum guide, of sorts) to bring me to some of the sights of interest.

Considering the agency prices, Arnulfo's negotiable 80,000 COP for an 'all-day' (09:00 to 18:30 as it turned out on day one) trip seemed reasonable. (That's just over 22 euros. And yes, I did get it at a lower price; we are in straitened times.)* In fact, the motorbike ride in the hot sun was an attraction in itself, if a little bit testing on the posterior.

Although he wasn't the most informative, Arnulfo turned out to be good company all the same, although he was a little difficult to understand at times. We got over the small setback of his struggling to find the 'pozos naturales', natural wells, at the end of our first day. That I opted for a second day with him is proof of that.

The ancient rock paintings at Cerro Azul ...

Alongside the natural wells that we eventually found (with thanks to a third party, Saúl!), on that first day we took in the rather mysterious, ancient indigenous rock paintings of Nuevo Tolima, followed by the impressive Ciudad de Piedra (Rock City) and then the rock tunnels. It's what the tour agencies call the 'rocoso', rocky trip, with all the attractions being within relatively easy reach of each other (with transport that is).

On day two with Arnulfo we went to Cerro Azul, or Blue Hill if you like, where there are more indigenous paintings to try to 'decode', a 'cool', in every sense of the word, bat-filled rock tunnel to traverse, as well as stunning views over the vast plains-cum-jungle.

A refreshing tienda pit stop came after that  — Arnulfo's call, honestly. In fairness to him, it's a sweaty trek up and down Cerro Azul in the energy-sapping sun, while the motorbike journey alone to get there from San José is a good 90 minutes, most of it on unpaved roads. He deserved a beer or five.

Once 'watered', we briefly took in Laguna Negra, the Black Lake. By that time, with the sun setting, the blood-sucking flying insects were out in force and I was left badly exposed. They were the biggest threat faced over the four-day visit.

Going to Guaviare in dry season means missing out on the chance to see majestically-coloured rivers, akin to the more renowned Caño Cristales (an advantage for the Guaviare versions is that they're far easier, and cheaper, to reach). The best time to see the rivers in bloom is between July and November.

This anteater caused a bit of excitement among the concerned locals in San José ...

Also, on the fauna side of things, Guaviare has much to offer. In this regard, I didn't see a lot on this occasion — an unexpected visit of a young anteater to the centre of San José that caused a bit of excitement was as exotic as it got.

In any case, it's just another reason to go back. We can call this a reconnaissance mission of sorts for the independent traveller. The contacts and groundwork have been laid for that return visit.

*Both Arnulfo (+573115678891) and his brother Antonio (+573115559047) offer moto-taxi services.
There are a host of hotels in San José del Guaviare, from basic to slightly more upmarket. Residencia Casanare, a block away from the main square, has rooms available for as little as 10,000 COP.
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