Lost in los llanos, Colombia

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

It was, like most things in my life have been, more by accident than design: my seven-month stint in 2025 living in los llanos, Colombia's vast plains and renowned cowboy country.

'To the horizon. And beyond!'

For most of that time, San Martín de los Llanos in the Meta department was the base. This was thanks to an invite to do a bout of house-sitting for an American native — that's a USA American, for the sticklers amongst us — a guy who I'd only befriended in December 2024.

Thanks to that, from February to early May I lived in relative comfort. In fact, it was close to my ideal: a furnished place to myself in a town with a nice vibe to it. Not far off my Goldilocks zone.

When that house-sitting stint ended, I still wasn't keen on an indefinite return to Bogotá, the place that has been my default setting in Colombia. So when I found a furnished studio-apartment (of sorts) for an agreeable 450,000 COP (about 95 euros) per month, bills included (and with the option to pay fortnightly), I took it. This led to another two-and-a-half months in San Martín.

Grand Granada

Then came an offer I couldn't refuse: a furnished room with kitchen access for 160,000 COP per month in Granada. This arose thanks to the partner of that American for whom I house sat in San Martín. It was the partner's sister who had the room. So even though I was fairly content, if not tremendously productive, in San Martín, the chance to significantly reduce my overheads appealed.

What's more, having stayed in Granada on previous occasions in 2024, returning wasn't a big deal. I knew what to expect.

Twenty kilometres south of San Martín, it's roughly twice as big as its northerly neighbour. To give Granada a one-word description, it's grand. That's the Irish grand, which means fine; not fantastic but not too terrible either. Middle of the road.

Meal deals

One area, though, where Granada rates highly, if one puts importance on value for money, is in the cheapness of eating out. This is because there are four (that I know of) restaurants that sell breakfasts and lunches for 5,000 pesos, just over one euro. Similar fare would be at least double that in Bogotá and other cities and towns.

For me, these meals are in the popular 3-Bs, bueno, bonito, barato, category. That's bueno for good, bonito for nice/pretty, and barato for cheap. That last b is undisputed, whatever about the other two, which are more subjective.

While I haven't tried the breakfasts — this is due to my version of intermittent fasting — the lunches are filling and wholesome. And, in at least one of the establishments, meals are served late into the afternoon. It's not a case of having little to nothing available after 2 pm, as often happens in other such places.

'If Granada is controlled by guerrillas, it happens on a different level to my humble comings and goings.'

The main dish usually comes with a mixture — if you ask for a mixture, that is — of beans, peas, chickpeas, pumpkin, plantain and a token salad. OK, the chicken/meat/fish portions are puny but the soup starter, often a sancocho, a type of stew with a mix of root vegetables and rough cuts of beef or chicken, is hearty. It's almost a meal in its own right.

So with such a selection for 5,000 pesos, you really couldn't buy the ingredients and cook them at home more cheaply. Trust me. I've done the experiment, not with all the same ingredients albeit. I do, however, still like to cook my own meals. This is chiefly because I enjoy cooking, I have the free time these days to do so and, in doing so, I have greater control over what I consume.

It's why for the month or so I had in the 160,000-pesos-per-month room in Granada, I ate the 5,000-peso meals no more than six times.

The town is also hard to beat for agreeably priced beer. Unhealthily so, it could be said, in that it may encourage one to drink more than desired. My tienda of choice, Doña Rosa's, sells 750 ml bottles of Tecate for 3,000 pesos with the same volume of Costeña for 3,500 pesos. It's as cheap as you'll get in the country.

Water wars

Now, while Granada might be good for keeping the costs down, it's less appealing in other aspects. And no, I'm not referring to the fact that it's said to be controlled by leftist guerrillas. If that is the case, it happens on a different level to my humble comings and goings. (For the record, San Martín and most places north of that town in Meta are in the hands of the right-wing paramilitaries, so it goes. From Granada southwards, down into Guaviare, it's largely guerrilla territory.)

One drawback is that Granada lacks an inviting natural watercourse nearby. Yes, there's the visually impressive River Ariari. But it's 6 km from the town, so a tad far to be a comfortable walking option. OK, it can be refreshing to go for a dip on reaching the river after the walk, but then one is faced with the trek back in heat regularly in excess of 30 degrees Celsius. Cycling would be a better option, if one was going to be based in the town long enough to make investing in a bike pay off, that is.

There is a smaller river that flows through the outskirts of the town, just north of the hospital. Alas, the one acceptable bathing spot it has is, unsurprisingly, very popular. It's regularly filled with screaming children and revellers blaring mindless music from portable speakers, the Colombian standard. Not only that, but its rather murky waters aren't that enticing.

The waters of San Martín's Caño Camoa, in contrast, are clearer. And the river offers a selection of more secluded bathing spots. Although, on Sundays and holidays, that seclusion tends to get smashed.

The San Martín view

Another plus point for San Martín is that it has various tranquil — as in traffic-light and with a feeling of being in nature — loop roads to wander. I didn't find anything quite as tranquil in Granada.

In addition, San Martín has a 130-step mirador, a viewing tower, to ascend, offering views of the seemingly never-ending plains to the south and east, with the alluring Andes introducing themselves to the north and west. The tower also doubles up as decent exercise, especially if one ascends and descends it a few times in a row.

'Thanks to Lejanías' proximity to both the Guape and the Andes, there's a freshness to the air that's lacking in Granada.'

On top of all this, in San Martín I was given WiFi access in La Reina, my panadería office there. I never had this privilege in the various panaderías I frequented in Granada. What's more, the friendly staff at the rustic library in San Martín had no issue in giving me the building's WiFi password. No such service came from the more modern but quite tacky library in Granada. (Only in Doña Rosa's tienda did I have WiFi in Granada, another pull factor, if one were needed, to her cheap beer.)

Whilst based in Granada, I did visit two other llanos towns, spending a few nights in both.

San Juan de Arama, 20 km south-west of Granada, has little going for it. About the best I can say is that it's fairly quiet.

A little of Lejanías does you good

Lejanías, 40 km west of Granada, at the foothills of the Andes, overlooking the broad River Guape as it flows at pace towards the plains, has much more to it. Its setting alone is satisfying. In fact, on that front, I think it's the best of the four towns mentioned here.

That it has another river nearby, a much smaller one than the Guape, where one can relax unperturbed, is a bonus. There's something about listening to the flow of water in a relatively unspoilt natural setting that puts one at ease.

Thanks to its proximity to both the Guape and the Andes, there's a freshness to the air that's lacking in Granada. Granted, Granada is far bigger and is a significant transport hub in these parts. With that, it has more people, more vehicles, more concrete and thus more pollution.

One minor negative for Lejanías is that it's a buchona-free town: the big, 750 ml beer bottles aren't available. This is the case for many small towns in Colombia that are a fair distance from their department capitals. It's a manageable inconvenience all the same. And better for my health as I have a rough beer budget that I like to stick to i.e. I measure my beer-drinking by cost rather than volume. In any case, it's not a lack of beer that's my problem these days.

No, one of my main issues right now is finding income-generating work, something for which los llanos bears little responsibility — even if I do find the hot climate unconducive to doing computer work.

Sort my income issues out and I'd have no problem taking up residence again in San Martín, Lejanías or Granada, more or less in that order of preference.

One could be in worse places than lost, in thought, in los llanos.
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