Lost in los llanos, Colombia

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

It was, like most things in my life have been, more by accident than design: my seven-month stint in 2025 living in los llanos, Colombia's vast plains and renowned cowboy country.

'To the horizon. And beyond!'

For most of that time, San Martín de los Llanos in the Meta department was the base. This was thanks to an invite to do a bout of house-sitting for an American native — that's a USA American, for the sticklers amongst us — a guy who I'd only befriended in December 2024.

Thanks to that, from February to early May I lived in relative comfort. In fact, it was close to my ideal: a furnished place to myself in a town with a nice vibe to it. Not far off my Goldilocks zone.

When that house-sitting stint ended, I still wasn't keen on an indefinite return to Bogotá, the place that has been my default setting in Colombia. So when I found a furnished studio-apartment (of sorts) for an agreeable 450,000 COP (about 95 euros) per month, bills included (and with the option to pay fortnightly), I took it. This led to another two-and-a-half months in San Martín.

Grand Granada

Then came an offer I couldn't refuse: a furnished room with kitchen access for 160,000 COP per month in Granada. This arose thanks to the partner of that American for whom I house sat in San Martín. It was the partner's sister who had the room. So even though I was fairly content, if not tremendously productive, in San Martín, the chance to significantly reduce my overheads appealed.

What's more, having stayed in Granada on previous occasions in 2024, returning wasn't a big deal. I knew what to expect.

Twenty kilometres south of San Martín, it's roughly twice as big as its northerly neighbour. To give Granada a one-word description, it's grand. That's the Irish grand, which means fine; not fantastic but not too terrible either. Middle of the road.

Meal deals

One area, though, where Granada rates highly, if one puts importance on value for money, is in the cheapness of eating out. This is because there are four (that I know of) restaurants that sell breakfasts and lunches for 5,000 pesos, just over one euro. Similar fare would be at least double that in Bogotá and other cities and towns.

For me, these meals are in the popular 3-Bs, bueno, bonito, barato, category. That's bueno for good, bonito for nice/pretty, and barato for cheap. That last b is undisputed, whatever about the other two, which are more subjective.

While I haven't tried the breakfasts — this is due to my version of intermittent fasting — the lunches are filling and wholesome. And, in at least one of the establishments, meals are served late into the afternoon. It's not a case of having little to nothing available after 2 pm, as often happens in other such places.

'If Granada is controlled by guerrillas, it happens on a different level to my humble comings and goings.'

The main dish usually comes with a mixture — if you ask for a mixture, that is — of beans, peas, chickpeas, pumpkin, plantain and a token salad. OK, the chicken/meat/fish portions are puny but the soup starter, often a sancocho, a type of stew with a mix of root vegetables and rough cuts of beef or chicken, is hearty. It's almost a meal in its own right.

So with such a selection for 5,000 pesos, you really couldn't buy the ingredients and cook them at home more cheaply. Trust me. I've done the experiment, not with all the same ingredients albeit. I do, however, still like to cook my own meals. This is chiefly because I enjoy cooking, I have the free time these days to do so and, in doing so, I have greater control over what I consume.

It's why for the month or so I had in the 160,000-pesos-per-month room in Granada, I ate the 5,000-peso meals no more than six times.

The town is also hard to beat for agreeably priced beer. Unhealthily so, it could be said, in that it may encourage one to drink more than desired. My tienda of choice, Doña Rosa's, sells 750 ml bottles of Tecate for 3,000 pesos with the same volume of Costeña for 3,500 pesos. It's as cheap as you'll get in the country.

Water wars

Now, while Granada might be good for keeping the costs down, it's less appealing in other aspects. And no, I'm not referring to the fact that it's said to be controlled by leftist guerrillas. If that is the case, it happens on a different level to my humble comings and goings. (For the record, San Martín and most places north of that town in Meta are in the hands of the right-wing paramilitaries, so it goes. From Granada southwards, down into Guaviare, it's largely guerrilla territory.)

One drawback is that Granada lacks an inviting natural watercourse nearby. Yes, there's the visually impressive River Ariari. But it's 6 km from the town, so a tad far to be a comfortable walking option. OK, it can be refreshing to go for a dip on reaching the river after the walk, but then one is faced with the trek back in heat regularly in excess of 30 degrees Celsius. Cycling would be a better option, if one was going to be based in the town long enough to make investing in a bike pay off, that is.

There is a smaller river that flows through the outskirts of the town, just north of the hospital. Alas, the one acceptable bathing spot it has is, unsurprisingly, very popular. It's regularly filled with screaming children and revellers blaring mindless music from portable speakers, the Colombian standard. Not only that, but its rather murky waters aren't that enticing.

The waters of San Martín's Caño Camoa, in contrast, are clearer. And the river offers a selection of more secluded bathing spots. Although, on Sundays and holidays, that seclusion tends to get smashed.

The San Martín view

Another plus point for San Martín is that it has various tranquil — as in traffic-light and with a feeling of being in nature — loop roads to wander. I didn't find anything quite as tranquil in Granada.

In addition, San Martín has a 130-step mirador, a viewing tower, to ascend, offering views of the seemingly never-ending plains to the south and east, with the alluring Andes introducing themselves to the north and west. The tower also doubles up as decent exercise, especially if one ascends and descends it a few times in a row.

'Thanks to Lejanías' proximity to both the Guape and the Andes, there's a freshness to the air that's lacking in Granada.'

On top of all this, in San Martín I was given WiFi access in La Reina, my panadería office there. I never had this privilege in the various panaderías I frequented in Granada. What's more, the friendly staff at the rustic library in San Martín had no issue in giving me the building's WiFi password. No such service came from the more modern but quite tacky library in Granada. (Only in Doña Rosa's tienda did I have WiFi in Granada, another pull factor, if one were needed, to her cheap beer.)

Whilst based in Granada, I did visit two other llanos towns, spending a few nights in both.

San Juan de Arama, 20 km south-west of Granada, has little going for it. About the best I can say is that it's fairly quiet.

A little of Lejanías does you good

Lejanías, 40 km west of Granada, at the foothills of the Andes, overlooking the broad River Guape as it flows at pace towards the plains, has much more to it. Its setting alone is satisfying. In fact, on that front, I think it's the best of the four towns mentioned here.

That it has another river nearby, a much smaller one than the Guape, where one can relax unperturbed, is a bonus. There's something about listening to the flow of water in a relatively unspoilt natural setting that puts one at ease.

Thanks to its proximity to both the Guape and the Andes, there's a freshness to the air that's lacking in Granada. Granted, Granada is far bigger and is a significant transport hub in these parts. With that, it has more people, more vehicles, more concrete and thus more pollution.

One minor negative for Lejanías is that it's a buchona-free town: the big, 750 ml beer bottles aren't available. This is the case for many small towns in Colombia that are a fair distance from their department capitals. It's a manageable inconvenience all the same. And better for my health as I have a rough beer budget that I like to stick to i.e. I measure my beer-drinking by cost rather than volume. In any case, it's not a lack of beer that's my problem these days.

No, one of my main issues right now is finding income-generating work, something for which los llanos bears little responsibility — even if I do find the hot climate unconducive to doing computer work.

Sort my income issues out and I'd have no problem taking up residence again in San Martín, Lejanías or Granada, more or less in that order of preference.

One could be in worse places than lost, in thought, in los llanos.
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Colombia and a few of my favourite things

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

I was looking back at previous blog articles — a blogger's version of going through old photos — when I found Introducing "our" Colombia, published in July 2017. In that piece, in an attempt to remind readers there's no "u" in Colombia, each letter from the word Colombia was used to refer to something that represented the country for me.

Now, while many things in that original story still hold, I feel it's time for an update.

Ergo, I present, in Sesame Street style, 'My Colombia 2025'. (Do note, other letters of the alphabet are available to list some of my favourite things in the country, but I have to follow the format here.)

Our Colombian smorgasbord. Tasty and wholesome!

C is for Costeña (and cuajada)

In my earliest days living in Colombia, I was a fan of Costeña lager. While its taste was similar to the more popular Bavaria beers i.e. Aguila and Poker, it stood out from the others thanks to the form in which it came: a 350 ml short-neck, stubby bottle. The rest were in 330 ml long-neck bottles. Costeña was always competitively priced, too.

When Bavaria introduced 750 ml bottles in mid-2012, followed a few years later by litre bottles, the beer company shifted away from Costeña (initially, in some parts of Colombia anyway, 750 ml Costeña bottles had been available but were soon phased out).

The beer eventually disappeared from the tienda fridges. It was only available in 330 ml cans in some supermarkets.

But in late 2023, Costeña came back to liven up the market. OK, the standout stubby 350 ml bottle is no longer available — it's in the standard 330 ml long-neck — but its return in 750 ml bottles is very welcome. It's almost always cheaper than Aguila and Poker, sometimes up to 40 per cent less, and I don't think it's in any way inferior.

Many Colombians seem to agree with me. From my observations, Costeña is growing in popularity in cantinas and tiendas across the country. It is the economy of it, stupid. Why pay more for a similar brew that doesn't really offer anything different?

Another "c" I'm compelled to mention here is cuajada, a fresh cheese made from milk curds.

For most of my time in Colombia, I'd effectively given up on cheese because I felt the quality of most of it was poor while I also found it quite costly, relatively speaking (I was guilty, though, of not shopping around on this one — a rarity for me).

However, while in San José del Guaviare last year, I got into eating cuajada — and continue to do so. As it's practically salt-free and very mild, I find it a refreshing snack, particularly in warmer climes. And at an average of 9,000 COP per pound, it's not badly priced.

O is for oficinas

As a mostly independent operator in these parts (more on that to come), the ability to spend a few hours every day in Colombia's ubiquitous panaderías — cafés-cum-bakeries — is essential for me. They are my offices, oficinas, where I go to read and write whilst sipping on a competitively priced (yes, there's a theme here) tinto (black coffee) and the odd piece of fresh-from-the-oven bread.

'Before, when offered a bowl of soup with hens' feet protruding from it, I'd politely decline whilst silently thinking what sort of savages eat such tripe, or rather entrails and unsightly body parts of fowl to be specific.'

Yes, I could do this in my place of residence. But, as I explained in a previous post, the coffee shop effect is at play. I'm better able to focus in an establishment where people are coming and going and where there's light background noise. Light, that is. Such places do exist in Colombia, at least on occasions.

L is for los Llanos

Los Llanos, Colombia's vast plains and traditional cowboy (and girl) country. More by accident than design — as with most things in my life — over the last few months I've become well acquainted with the mild hustle and bustle of these plains. To be more specific, considering the enormity of the region in question, I've got to know how things roll in the towns of Granada and that of my current abode, San Martín de los Llanos, neighbouring municipalities in the Meta department.

With temperature highs around 30 degrees Celsius, the temptation for an evening ice-cold Costeña beer in one of my preferred cantinas/tiendas is difficult to resist. So, residing here may not be the best for my health. Nor is it good for doing computer work. I've little enthusiasm to turn on my laptop. It's the heat's fault.

Nonetheless, as a man born and reared on a cattle farm, I find the vibe of the place comforting, most of the time. Sure it wouldn't be true cowboy country without the odd drive-by shooting. And I'm warming to the ever-so-pretty tarantulas.

O is for on the road

OK, it would be helpful if there was a "u" in Colombia for the purpose of this exercise. Although, I'm not sure if I even have a favourite "u". Oh wait, of course I do. Former president Uribe. The people's president. Or the paisas president, at least.

'In some ways I feel that the Boyacá department is my spiritual home.'

Sticking to the rules, though, my second "o" is for on the road. This is when I usually feel most relaxed in this land, travelling around it. "B" and "i", below, expand a little more on this.

M is for menudencias soup

A sign, perhaps, of how much I've adapted to life in Colombia. Years ago, when offered a bowl of soup with hens' feet protruding from it, I'd politely decline whilst silently thinking what sort of savages eat such tripe, or rather entrails and unsightly body parts of fowl, to be specific.

Nowadays, I find this pick-and-mix delicacy hearty and wholesome, and, wait for it, competitively priced. It's better than ultra-processed rubbish in any case.

B is for Boyacá and Bogotá's barrios populares

While I'm currently based in los Llanos, in some ways I feel that the Boyacá department is more my spiritual home. One reason for this is that towns in its loftier and thus cooler locations have what I consider a more Irish countryside hue about them. And because of its mountainous terrain, there's more variety to it than the relative sameness of the plains.

For example, the low-lying town of San Luis de Gaceno, in the department's south, has a culture and climate similar to San Martín. Further north and high up in the Andes is the quaint colonial settlement of Güicán, close to one of Colombia's few remaining glaciers. There, goats and sheep are almost as numerous as cattle. Ovines are pretty much non-existent in los Llanos.

What I'll call my Boyacá bromance really got going once life started moving again after the pernicious covid-19 lockdowns. From my base in the far north of Bogotá, within walking distance of the city's northern bus terminal, it was easy for me to escape to the myriad towns further north. And this I happily and regularly did between 2021 and 2023.

As for Bogotá's barrios populares, especially Santandercito in the far north, I feel at home there. Yes, Santandercito and surrounds have their rough edges, yet there's a sense of community that I feel is lacking in other, more affluent neighbourhoods in the capital. Many barrios populares are like small, welcoming towns in a big, impersonal city.

I is for independence

Colombia has allowed me to avoid working a full-time job, save for one uninspiring experience as a copywriter/translator at a marketing agency from December 2018 to January 2020. Thus, I have been able to move around the country pretty much when I want to.

An employer would have to pay me quite an amount of money for me to sacrifice this employment independence, largely economically inactive as I currently am, albeit. As I've said before, I prefer to work with people rather than for people. Or work on my own, when and where possible.

A is for Amazon

Few people in the world haven't heard of the Amazon (no, I don't mean the company, which I've never used). And I'm sure many would love to get the chance to visit it. So, having been on its doorstep for years, it had always been in my plans to go there.

Now while San José del Guaviare, a town I first visited in 2017, is technically in Colombia's Amazon region, it's not in the Amazonas department. And I always felt that I couldn't call time on my days in Colombia without visiting Amazonas.

This, I finally did in 2024. Very loosely following in the footsteps of Roger Casement, I travelled to the indigenous reserve of La Chorrera, which you can read about here. As I say in that piece, I'm in no rush to return to La Chorrera itself. However, it was quite an experience and I wouldn't mind exploring other parts of the Amazon in the months and years to come.

So that's it. My latest spelling out of what C-O-L-O-M-B-I-A means to me. Until the next time.
__________________________________________________________
Listen to The Corrigan Cast podcast here.

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Our tops and flops of 2024

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

It's that time of year again when content creators and publishers can be a little lazy and rehash, under the guise of a review, some of the work from the previous twelve months.

Things can only get better. Actually, they could get much worse all the same!

The Wrong Way Corrigan approach to this is to pick out the hits, or tops if you will— I use those words lightly — and flops — most are just that when one desires viral-esque material — of the content I've published across various platforms.

Good for nothing

Let's start with uploads that, to put it kindly, haven't quite taken off. (In truth, they haven't even started taxiing to the runway.) I'm using the present perfect tense for the simple fact that these pieces still, of course, exist online and thus could, in theory, fly to great heights in time to come. Ever the optimist, here.

Here on Google Blogger, 2024's poorest performing post at the time of writing is Google/Gulag Blogger's faceless, unaccountable, cowardly censors. What are they afraid of?, published in September. It's somewhat surprising that Google Blogger hasn't been keen to vigorously promote a blog with such a heading. You know, to show how fair and balanced the platform is.

I must put on record here that Google Blogger has since lifted the ban on the content it unceremoniously blocked, the subject of that story. Why it was taken down in the first instance still baffles me. Google Blogger and me, a relationship of mystery.

On El Tiempo, the slow burner (it's bound to come good after this) is Round by round we go. Oh no! If only some of my Colombian friends would read a translated version so that they'd know that I prefer to be excluded from cumbersome and expensive rounds of beers. Buy me lunch instead.

'Next to nobody seems interested in my dental musings as Boosting dental health has proven about as popular as a dentist drilling away at your unanaesthetised mouth.'

Cop on Colombia, for biodiversity's sake is the least listened to/viewed on The Corrigan Cast via Spotify and associated platforms. Come on folks, you're missing out on humanity-saving advice.
(*LINK https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/e3gm0JGVvPb )

On my YouTube channel, we've got a two-way tie in the Top of the Vlog Flops category. An act of good clearly wasn't seen as such for YouTube viewers while next to nobody seems interested in my dental musings as Boosting dental health has proven about as popular as a dentist drilling away at your unanaesthetised mouth.

For YouTube Shorts, the video titled Ariarí River near Granada in Colombia's Meta department hasn't caught the imagination for some reason. The mind boggles, considering its sexy title.

So, they are our flops, with the caveat that they could become tops in time to come. Really, they could!

The letter writer's raining champion

Now for the hits.

Back to Google Blogger, the October-published Kamala control: Letter to the editor leads the way. Yes, that's right, details of a letter to the Irish Independent has been my most viewed post on Blogger in 2024. Why doesn't the Irish Independent just hire me to be a columnist? Come on, it could be the start of something great!

Now, as already noted, the Spotify version of Cop on Colombia, for biodiversity's sake has largely been ignored. However, the text of this story on El Tiempo found a niche. It's the one with the most engagement of all my 2024 articles on that page. So I won't give up all hope of a cleaner, greener Colombia in the near future.

In top spot on Spotify is Life imitating art of Los 39, minus the bloodshed. A bitchy, telling-tales-from-school yarn does have its fans.

The highest ranking of my YouTube vlogs is Shunning la Selección Colombia. Cheers to those of you who checked it out. Rather than support overpaid, petulant footballers, support an underpaid, underworked curmudgeon — me! Just don't forget to donate generously to the Corrigan cause.

And just in case you think all my pieces on Colombia are somewhat negative — what would give you that impression? — From Guaviare with love: Sending this to rain-deprived Bogotá! is 2024's most-viewed amongst my YouTube Shorts. I could be on to a winner posting about eye-catching weather events. Let's have more magical meteorological moments occur around me, please.

So that's Wrong Way Corrigan and The Corrigan Cast (catchy band name, that) wrapped for 2024. We're now all set to ride the 2025 Trump Tide!
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Listen to The Corrigan Cast podcast here.

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San José del Guaviare: Colombia's best department capital?

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

Medellín, Bogotá, Cartagena, Santa Marta, Cali, Bucaramanga. In roughly that descending order, these are the top cities for immigrants to Colombia.

San José del Guaviare: It's far from a dull backwater.

As populous, fairly well-connected, and relatively cosmopolitan urban centres, it's not surprising that they attract foreigners from near and far.

When it comes to smaller towns, the likes of tourist-heavy Salento, San Gil, and Villa de Leyva are to the fore.

Outside of the aforementioned, plus perhaps about another dozen places, if immigrants settle elsewhere, it would most likely be by accident rather than design. Or employment or a relationship brought them there against their better judgment.

The Guaviare grind

Now, while San José del Guaviare, like Colombia in general, has seen the number of foreign tourists grow in recent years, few seem to stick around. (I'm not including Venezuelans — they're not really foreigners in Colombia, being from a país hermano/brother country as they are.)

That tourism in the Guaviare department is on the up is understandable. There are some stunning sites to be seen around San José, some of which I wrote about after my first, brief visit in 2018, and the town is not difficult to get to from Bogotá.

Yet, it's also understandable that few visitors stay longer than needs be. The town itself isn't quite in the quaint cohort.

Revved-up motorbikes and the coming and going of cargo trucks in the river port area mix with loud music from a stream of competing bars to ensure there's plenty of noise around the centre from dawn to early morning. Add in the stifling heat — often in the high 30s degrees Celsius — in the heavy, dusty air and it's easy to see why many may find it a bit too much.

Yes, it's on the banks of a majestic river, the Guaviare, but its murky waters aren't the most inviting for a refreshing dip.

'The barefooted Indigenous kids who enter some establishments looking for free treats can get a little annoying after a while — 'Ah, not again lads!' — but they're not going to pull a knife for non-compliance.'

The pristine waters that run into the impressive natural wells, pozos naturales, do offer aqua relief. But located 10 km from the town, they're not exactly a comfortable walk away. And as they are inside a protected park, there's also a 10,000 COP entrance fee to access them. OK, there are a few swimming pools in the town but it's nice to have natural, cost-free options.

Thus, why would one stay in San José del Guaviare when Colombia has so many other more attractive alternatives?

Outside of my penchant for finding delights in the drab, relishing the rough and ready, the town has what can be described as more pleasant pull factors, as I discovered after over two months there.

Safety first

For starters, as department capitals in Colombia go, it's surely one of the safest. One can wander about the place at any time pretty much assured that nothing untoward will happen. It's virtually free of delinquents. Fair enough, the barefooted Indigenous kids who enter some establishments looking for free treats can get a little annoying after a while — 'Ah, not again lads!' — but they're not going to pull a knife for non-compliance. I don't think they would, anyway.

So while it's not unique in having friendly, helpful residents, this lack of petty crime (petty for those who don't suffer it, that is) gives it an advantage over many other big towns and cities. (The reason for such lack of in-your-face crime may be due to darker forces behind the scenes, as I explained in my Pacific Puerto Asís story.)

Also, as a single guy, I found its women to be refreshingly free of this insidious idea that the white foreigner comes with riches to raid.

What's more, that hustle and bustle of the centre and adjacent river port area is balanced out by far quieter neighbourhoods in most other parts of the town, such as the Bello Horizonte and La Paz barrios.

In terms of accommodation, it's on the cheaper end of the scale compared to the bigger department capitals. I've been told furnished studio apartments can be rented for around 600,000 COP per month (that's roughly 120 euros).

Speaking of value for money, more-than-satisfactory, standard two-course lunches cost between 6,000 and 9,000 COP. The equivalent in most of Bogotá these days is about 12,000 COP. (I must note here, in similar-sized, similar-vibe Granada in the Meta department, from where I write these lines, such lunches are available for 5,000 COP and monthly accommodation is equally if not more cheaply priced. But Granada is not a department capital — that may play a part in pricing.)

Tax and vax haven

Guaviare is, however, one of the five Vat-free departments of Colombia — the others are Amazonas, Guainía, Vichada, and Vaupés.

So with a range of everyday products tax-exempt, one might expect the cost of living to be notably cheaper. Yes, some things are less expensive than Bogotá but others, such as beer, are not. One explanation, given to me by a tienda owner, is that the Vat-free status is cancelled out by having to pay protection money — a vacuna/vaccine, as they call it — to the real power-brokers in the region, the guerillas, the darker forces I referred to earlier.

It's generally just property owners and business people who are forced to pay this vacuna. So the likes of tenants and employees should see some benefit from the tax-free status.

I noticed that motorbikes, the preferred transport option in San José, are in the Vat-free category. I assume it's the same for bicycles. For if I were to return for another prolonged period, I'd look into buying a bike. I figure cycling would be a great way to visit the likes of the natural wells and the town of El Retorno, 30 km to the south. There are many other places to pedal to as well. The topography is fairly flat, after all. Although the heat makes up for the absence of crippling climbs.

I suspect this is the mental trade-off for me in San José del Guaviare. Because, as I've proclaimed before, I am a fan of altitude. Yet, I do also like climates where one can dress light 24/7 — it complements my minimalist outlook.

Now, if you're of a more cosmopolitan composition, San José is unlikely to excite you. But a dull, insular backwater it is not. And since my first visit over six years ago, its population and urban area have grown, making it a livelier spot, for better and for worse (it's more the former, for now at least, I feel).

In fact, if for some reason I had to base myself in one of Colombia's department capitals, from all those I know, San José del Guaviare would top my list.
__________________________________________________________
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