An uncomfortable undertaking

It was Benjamin Franklin who said that nothing in this world is certain except death and taxes. Some people, however, manage to find ways around the latter one. As of yet, though, no one has managed to get the better of the former.

Death: The unwanted but unavoidable guest. (Image: villains.wikia.com)

For something so inevitable, that many of us give very little, if any, considered thought in planning for our own demise could be viewed in a puzzling light.

OK, you can make the argument that we're too busy living to be thinking about such morbid things. 

Plus, the younger you are and/or feel, taking time out to organise both how you want your body disposed of when you breathe your last and where and to whom you'd like your earthly belongings left may seem an unnecessary distraction. 'I've plenty of time for that, sure.'

That may just be the case, but the thing is we never know exactly when we'll depart this world we currently inhabit. Throw in the fact that the older you get or if faced with a potentially terminal illness, you may not want to think about death; imagining it might just bring it on more quickly.

Taking all these points together, then we'll never feel predisposed to preparing the legal and practical necessities for when we die. You could say it's a selfish approach: 'Let those I leave behind deal with all that pernickety stuff.'

Yet, dealing with death is seldom easy, so we can all play our part in removing at least some of the potential trauma ahead of our own passing. 

And seeing how I generally go along with the not-thinking-about-it approach when you're battling a severe illness, especially in relation to younger adults, the best time to think about and plan for your death is when you feel in rude health.

There are the rather straightforward things such as: electing for either burial or cremation; the type of coffin you'd like (and perhaps where you'd like it purchased — there are other options than just relying on a costly undertaker to source it for you); the clothes you want on your dead body; how you'd like your funeral arranged, for example where you'd like your body to spend its last hours before burial/cremation, an open or closed coffin, etc.; and yes or no to your organs' being donated.

Having arrangements made, in a legally binding way, for how any savings and/or assets you have are distributed is, to state the obvious, a very prudent move. 

If you have sufficient funds to pay for your own funeral, these should be made available to cover it as soon as legally possible. If you're an expatriate, as is currently the case for me, expecting other family members to shoulder the cost of having your body repatriated isn't the nicest parting gift (I might be just left where I am!).

For the record, to put it publicly here — subject to future changes — I'll go for cremation (that was the result of a coin toss), a reasonably priced wicker coffin (if people would like to see my dead body before it's disposed of, fair enough), my last night at my parental home, I'm easy on the clothes as long as they're mine, and if my organs after my death can be of use to other people, then go for them.

On the money front, whatever bits I have in accounts in Colombia, the Republic of Ireland and the UK should be used to pay for funeral costs. If there's anything left over (unlikely at this remove), distribute it among my parents and siblings (or siblings' children).

There you go. 

Of course, I fully hope that the provisions in my death plan change many times before they're actually needed, but putting off making one at all isn't best practice. 

Death is the one thing that awaits us all.
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Honouring honesty

A friend asked me the other day, 'What makes you angry the most?' I chewed on it for a while and spat out a few things. There was, though, a common thread to them all: People not being honest. For I believe that I am, largely speaking, an honest person and I expect others to be the same with me.

Benjamin Franklin: 'Honesty is the best policy.' (Image from FB.)

It’s pretty accurate to say that you’ll find dishonesty at the root of most grievances people have with each other. This is especially so when it comes to relationship affairs (or non-affairs as they often are) and areas related to work.

The truth tends to out at some stage, so isn't it best to run with it from the get-go?

Take a potentially budding relationship, or budding in the eyes of one side anyway, as an example. If you're the non-interested party, say it. Don't string the thing along when you've no genuine interest in it.

Now, one positive angle such carry-on could be viewed from is that there's a fear in the unenthusiastic one of hurting the other's feelings. And with today's modern communication means, being a virtual friend without ever truly engaging has never been easier. So a 'friend game' can be played and maintained for some time.

However, it will come to a head, this being more so the case if a romantic notion of where things were going existed in the 'injured' party.

Plus, the more negative view is that people who engage in this behaviour are doing so for wholly selfish reasons: Keeping their options open, looking for attention, a feeling that they only need to click their fingers, or more precisely touch their keypads, in order to bring somebody back into their sphere of influence, these are the kind of things we're talking about here.

It's something I've witnessed and experienced with women in this part of the world with worrying regularity — but, of course, it's not exclusive to here (I’ve just personally engaged with Colombianas more than others in recent years).

Outside of relationships, practising a bit of diplomacy, or being economical with the truth, can have its benefits. Indeed, in some scenarios, if just for a time, it may be the best course of action.

But saying yes when you really mean no or you haven't a clue, can't be condoned.

Take this example from one of Colombia's telecommunications providers, ETB. The company, for months, continuously promised one of its customers a higher-speed internet connection. Eventually, after a lot of time wasted, the customer was told that this couldn't actually be provided.

Granted, there are a few issues at play in the realms of customer service, or lack of service as it is, and dishonesty may not be the biggest culprit.

The truth can hurt, or at least shock. (From reddit.com.)

Yet, effectively you had people saying yes to something when in reality they didn't know what the situation was.

In a Colombian context, a local friend here described it as 'appeasing out of fear in what is an insecure nation.' And it comes from the top, down. There's a belief that if you tell people what you think they want to hear, it makes things all the better. Of course, in the long run, it usually has the opposite effect.

It's not for nothing the saying 'honesty is the best policy' came into being. It does, however, appear easier to utter than put into practice for some people.