Venezuela: South America's North Korea

The main problem with first impressions, as they say, is that you only get to make one. Alas, for Venezuela – not that the many seemingly myopic locals will care – what we witnessed on our admittedly brief and limited sojourn into the country will not have us rushing back. 

 

In theory, there shouldn’t be a major difference between the Colombian and Venezuelan cultures. 

Heck, the two countries were once together – along with other territories - in a greater Gran Colombia. On the ground, though, they seem worlds apart. 

The warmth and friendliness that you’ll instantly get on arrival in Colombia is replaced by a coldness bordering on hostility from a significant proportion of the population in Hugo Chavez’s Bolivarian Republic. Of course, El Presidente is perhaps one of the main reasons for this - we won't go there just now, though.

Making the overland crossing into the country, it doesn’t take long to notice the more negative vibe to the place. 

From the border crossing a short drive outside the Colombian town of Maicao to Venezuela’s second city of Maracaibo – no more than a two-hour drive – you’re likely to be asked for your passport and visa stamp at least ten times. Fantastic use of resources that. 

What difference in your circumstances are they expecting to find 10 kilometres down the road from the last check? 

Possibly it is a siege mentality thing derived from the top – ‘the foreigners are coming to infiltrate us, make them feel ill at ease’ sort of thinking. If as a nation it’s that paranoid, why not just follow the North Korean lead and don’t let them in? It might just make life easier for everybody concerned.

Bolivar Fuerte - what's it worth?

Then you have the currency – the "old" Bolivares or "new" Venezuelan Bolivar Fuerte (VEF). The two are still used in pricing, but it’s the ‘Fuerte’ you’ll be physically using – it’s basically the old money put into more basic units from what we can gather. 

Go to an ATM machine and you’ll get at best five VEF for your one euro. Go to one of the numerous cambios – currency exchange operators – on the street and one euro will get you, at least, a very nice 9.5 VEF. Almost double the value than what you’ll get via official means at an ATM/bank. 

So depending on how you’re getting your money in Venezuela, the country can either be pretty economical or quite damn expensive compared to its neighbours. 

Knowing what we know now, the best thing is to bring in with you large volumes of a foreign currency to exchange on the street during your time there. Of course, such a strategy comes with its own security problems, but it’s probably worth the risk.

Mentioning money, Venezuelan business people we encountered seemed overly obsessed with it – and that’s saying something considering the continent we’re in. Everything must be paid up front – even at an internet cafe. 

The advice here is to only give the bare minimum required for whatever you’re getting or using. That’s because – for the most part – once you hand over your cash, you won’t be getting it back if the circumstances of what you originally paid for change. That’s a quick lesson to learn, especially if Venezuela happens to be your first Latin American experience or indeed if you’re visiting the country from Colombia, where they tend to have a far more relaxed, reasonable approach in this regard.

Adiós Venezuela. 'Come back soon' - we'll think about it.

Then you have the dirt. Now, as the last few weeks have highlighted, this is something that doesn’t tend to overly bother us.

However, a rubbish tip of a place – as is much of what we saw of the country – coupled with a sour ambiance does not make for a good mix. Throw in the most aggressive drivers we’ve come across on the continent – another big statement for Latin America, but here they will knock you down if you get in their way, no question – and you begin to wonder why you bothered coming.
 

Like everything, though, you will find exceptions to the prevailing disposition of the populace, but they seem very hard to find. 

Also, it must be said again that our stay in Venezuela was short-lived – there is much more to the place than what we witnessed. It just became too costly to keep going to the ATM. 

So maybe with more time it might be possible to discover a lighter side to the country. Some would argue this does, in fact, exist – it’s called Colombia.

Dirty old town

Frontier towns tend not to get much positive press among travellers, especially so in South America. The fact that many of them really only exist as functioning entities precisely because of their location and tend to be either the beginning or end of laborious exit and entry procedures to another state probably plays a part in this negative image. 

On the face of it, Maicao — nestled on Colombia’s north-eastern limits next to Venezuela — fits neatly into this bracket. Ask any native, town residents apart, what they think of the place and one of the first words you're likely to hear back is ‘feo’ – that’s ugly to you and me. And to be honest, there is no arguing with that description.

One of Maicao's main streets.

Now, far from being a deserted tumbleweed spot such as your stereotypical border outpost in North America — well there may be tumbleweeds about the place but if so they’ve got stiff competition from the streams of rubbish blowing down the streets — this is a bustling market town. 

Indeed, the whole centre is just one big mass of interconnected, dishevelled markets, selling just about anything you’re looking for. A shopper’s paradise in a sense – well, quite a dirty one.

If you’re coming from other, let’s say more normal Colombian locations en route to Venezuela and you decide — unlike the majority of tourists — to stay here for a night or two, it’s an ideal spot to give you a small taste of what’s to come across the border. Just a very small taste, though. 

That’s because no place in Colombia could really get you ready for the illogical madness that is Hugo Chavez’s Bolivarian Republic. Countdown’s dictionary corner couldn’t solve that conundrum.

One thing that does stand out here, readying you for Venezuela — apart from the rubbish that is — is the prevalence of those antique monster Buick-styled Chevrolet cars. It’s like you've stepped back in time — a town full of gas guzzlers from the 1970s, perhaps earlier. 

Speaking of the gas, most, if not all, of what these dinosaurs are burning is smuggled fuel from just across the border — a commodity that is far cheaper in Venezuela. Indeed, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a legitimate gas station here, there’s no market for one. 

As regards the cars, it has to be said that most are Venezuelan-owned. If you are hitting for the frontier don’t miss out on the chance of being chauffeured in one of these beauties.

No not Mecca, it's Maicao.

A very appealing aspect of Maicao is the fact that it doesn’t get many outsiders and thus, just like Turbo last week, the people appear to be more genuine and friendly. 

Rather than hunt down the "wealthier" foreigners for their money as is the case in many other spots, the locals here will actually buy you drinks as we found out to our pleasant surprise. 

We won’t let the fact that the beer – the most popular being the deceptively strong Venezuelan brewed Polar – is a giveaway $1,000 Colombian pesos (about €0.40 cents). Like most things here, as cheap as you’ll get anywhere in the country. Every little helps, as Tesco would say. 

Another thing that will catch your eye — oddly so for a place of this size in a predominantly Christian country — is the strong Muslim population in existence. 

In fact, one of the first mosques in Colombia was built here in 1997 by Arab settlers. They started coming to the area in the 1970s when Venezuela’s oil industry was booming, setting up as merchants and have now become just another part of the community fabric. 

In unison with many other towns and cities in these parts, there are plenty of street dogs about the place, each doing their bit to mop up the rubbish. 

However, they’ve got competition in this regard from a rather strange source for an urban setting: cattle. Yes, that’s right, our bovine, milk-producing friends. 

When the sun goes down apparently it’s not uncommon for a few cows to come wandering into the town centre pilfering the day’s leftovers. Plus, from what we witnessed, it leaves a question mark over the species' reputed herbivore status in the animal world.

'I'd murder a beef burger right now.'

All this in a place that doesn’t get the tourists coming in droves and we haven’t even mentioned the juicy part yet. On our first day here a man was shot dead, apparently for not paying his bills — that’ll teach him. Residents assure us that it was a once-off, local dispute and nothing to be concerned about. We’ll take them at their word on that one.

So for another one of Colombia’s semi-hidden "gems", Maicao does nicely. At the very least it gives you a small hint of what to expect a few miles away in Venezuela. Without, that is, having to go the significant cost and bother of going there.