The bellicose side to biking in Bogotá, worsened by the snooty "e-scooterers"

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

Having gone from a very casual cyclist in Bogotá to a more regular one over the last few months, I've become acquainted with the rush-hour hustle, in a part-time capacity in any case.

Bogotá's cycle paths, like many things in Colombia, are something of a free-for-all.

The various infrastructural issues with stretches of the capital's ever-expanding cycle lanes notwithstanding — something I elaborated on in Bogotá's biking blues — it can be assumed that cycling in the city today is safer than it was a decade or so ago.

One reason for this is the very fact that there are more push-bike exclusive-ish paths, thus reducing interactions with the murderous motorised machines. That's the idea/hope anyway.

A vicious cycle

Yet, the aggressive, devil-may-care driving displayed by those who get behind the wheel of a car has its biking equivalent. This is to be expected in a country where the thinking of many seems to be along the lines of, 'Whatever rules may apply, these are for others to obey, not me.'

A substantial number of cyclists — and e-scooter users (can we call them e-scooterers?! I do have other terms for these particular menaces that I shan't repeat here) — must believe that traffic lights are nothing more than luminous displays. If they notice their existence at all, that is.

It may indeed be the latter because they certainly don't seem to notice the existence of other cycle-lane users. 

Heaven forbid one might have to wait behind a long line of bikes at a busy junction. 'I'm in a rush to get to work, another place where I get to demonstrate my lack of care and attention.' Quite.

Now, I must say, I'm not totally against proceeding at a red light when it's clearly safe to do so and one is at the top of the queue. It's those who barge their way forward from way back who truly annoy me. 

To add insult to injury, I've often found myself having to overtake such barging bikers shortly after their junction jumping. I'd be less angry if they were speedsters. But many aren't.

With such selfish behaviour commonplace, one is often compelled to follow suit. The road is long and uncaring for the rule-obeying cyclist, just as it is for the law-abiding citizen in general in many parts of the world. 

Thus, what should be a healthy, refreshing morning commute turns into a stress-filled battle of wits.

'Many e-scooterers use their high-speed, not-as-green-as-they-think-they-are contraptions as if they're auditioning to be the next James Bond.'

For the record, when one cycles at off-peak times — which I do on the return from my Parque 93 classes — it is usually a more relaxed affair. 

Having said that, my spin to work, which takes me southwards from Calle 170 along Avenida Novena, is seen as one of the more "civilised" routes. Deeper south, things are said to be even more chaotic (I have experienced this side on the odd occasion but I can't comment with any authority).

This careless conduct isn't going to change overnight. Indeed, it won't change at all if there's no genuine attempt to do so.

It's not a hopeless situation, though. The Sunday/public holiday ciclovía, an initiative where many of Bogotá's main thoroughfares are closed off to vehicular traffic from 7 am to 2 pm for the exclusive use of pedestrians and cyclists, offers some clues to a better way.

On such days, city authorities deploy personnel to "police" busy junctions. When traffic lights are red, they'll often pull a rope across the road to hold pedestrians, cyclists, rollerbladers and what have you in place. 

From my limited observations of the practice, it seems to work. (I'm not a major fan of travelling on ciclovía routes. As a mild misanthrope, I find the many bodies about quite irritating.)

OK, having such personnel in place at weekday rush hours, when commuters are generally less jovial, is another matter. But hey, there is a police force here for such tasks. 

Then again, there are many things here that police should be policing but not only do they not police them, they often commit the offences themselves.

Another positive of ciclovía is its one-way system. Granted space is at a premium in the city, but introducing more one-way cycle lanes where possible could help to reduce commuter tensions.

Upsetting the Bond market

While the previous suggestion has merit in its own right, I think it carries even more weight in light of the recent invasion of the cycle ways by those aforementioned menaces, the e-scooterers.

Not all e-scooter users are evil, but ...

Seeing as how many of these types appear to use their high-speed, not-as-green-as-they-think-they-are contraptions as if they're auditioning to be the next James Bond, my preference is to ban them altogether. (There are similar calls across the world.)

With such an outright ban unlikely, they should at least be prohibited on cycle lanes and footpaths. Basically, battle it out with other battery-containing/powered modes of transport, wannabe 007s.

Cycle lanes and footpaths, separately (or as close to separately as possible), should be reserved exclusively for those burning their own energy to get around, save for people with genuine mobility problems. So yes, motorised-bike or electric-moped users should also stay off the cycle lanes.

As pointed out, we old-fashioned pedallers have enough with which to concern ourselves without having to compete with these lazy new-age commuters.

So while I'll be happy to return to my preferred walking ways when my teaching work finishes shortly, I'd still like to give the snooty e-scooterers the boot.
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What a mother hooker!

There seems to be a lot of outcry in the United States over this ‘Secret Service Prostitute Scandal’, as it’s being dubbed. 

On the face of it, you can – kind of – understand why for many this story is so shocking. Undercover agents working to ensure President Barack Obama’s safety during his recent visit to Cartagena, on Colombia’s Caribbean coast, hiring ‘escort girls’ and then not having the decency to pay them the, allegedly, agreed fee. Not the kind of publicity the White House is looking for, is it?

'Looking for something, pretty boy?' 'Eh, no thanks.'

We don’t know yet – and we probably never will – what exactly happened on the night/early morning in question. Yes, the 24-year-old mother at the centre of all this has given her account of things. That’s just one side of the story, though, of course – and a Colombian woman’s one at that. 

Most of the flak in the media and general public is aimed, rightfully so you might say, at the US agents for a number of reasons. 

These are, namely, that they procured the services of prostitutes (albeit in a country where such practices are legal), they were drunk and they showed a complete lack of professional judgement with their actions, thus embarrassing their president and their country. On that last point, don’t worry USA, we think as much as you now as we ever did in the past – perhaps even a bit more.

OK, criticism one, the guys hired hookers. Well, we’re not up on the staffing of the men in question, but if they happened to be on ‘free time’ when all this happened, are they not entitled to do what they want, especially legal activities? 

Here’s another point to consider, though. Maybe they didn’t know the girls were ‘escorts’, as they describe themselves – distinct from prostitutes that now, these girls are much classier operators. 

Colombia is famous – Cartagena and Medellín in particular (see previous posts ‘Bienvenidos a Medellin – Bangkok Light’ http://bit.ly/IhlErq & ‘The Wages of Love’ http://bit.ly/IeUXji for related stories) – for such ‘gringo hunters’. These are women who come across as normal (is there such a thing?), just out for a night out trying to ‘score’ a man or two, as happens in every place in the world. 

However, what these ladies usually won’t tell you is that they want to get directly paid for their services – by whatever means they can get it. They don’t tend to introduce themselves as prostitutes or escorts, giving you their business cards in the process. No, that wouldn’t be the smartest move for picking up now, would it? 

They’re much sneakier than that. They’ve perfected the art of being ‘genuine’ so skillfully that we’ve witnessed people who are fully sober as well as street-wise Colombian natives getting duped by them. 

Yes, you can say secret service personnel should be a bit savvier, but we have to remember that there were at least two bottles of vodka thrown into the equation.

A Caribbean beach rub - far less hassle & cheaper than troublesome 'escorts'.

This brings us nicely to the second major condemnation of the men in question, that they were drunk. This one we find more incriminating than the fact they were, knowingly or unknowingly, sleeping with prostitutes. Why? Well, as the Latin phrase goes, ‘in vino veritas’, ‘in wine there is truth’. 

So regardless of the fact that the guys may have been on a night off, it doesn’t seem very prudent as an undercover agent, whose job it is to look after the President of the USA in what many think is a volatile country (we don’t), to be out knocking down copious amounts of alcohol. 

James Bond might have had the odd vodka and Martini – shaken, not stirred – but we can’t recall him ever getting too inebriated, while Jason Bourne always kept his wits about him. Alas, these real-life professional agents let such standards (and their trousers) slip for a few hours – a faux pas which has already cost a number of them their careers.

In the grand scheme of things, however, do their actions really warrant sacking? It’s safe to say that there are far worse activities being carried out by US secret agents and military personnel across the globe. 

Heck, the ladies involved in this ‘scandal’ still got paid decent loot for their services – US$225 for a few hours' work is more than they would make in a normal week or month even. 

Perhaps we should direct our anger at the greed of the woman who looked for US$800. Bet she didn’t even buy a drink all night. Disgraceful.