The WhatsApp voice messages of wrath

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

'Oh for feck sake, not another WhatsApp voice message.'

Through gritted teeth, that's generally how I respond upon receiving a WhatsApp voice message.

One does try, in vain, to let others know one's feelings.

The joy of text

The intensity of this indignation is directly proportional to the length of these "verbal vectors". I'm terming them thus as there's a good chance they are causing me mental harm owing to the ill feeling they generate in me.

If they are no more than thirty seconds in length and don't turn into a verbal volley, then I can deal with them without getting too worked up. (I must also confess here, lest I be called a hypocrite, I have been known to send the odd one in certain circumstances. This, though, is very much the exception. For the most part, I text.)

The thing is, for a not-insignificant number of WhatsApp users the voice message is the default option. In terms of my contacts, it seems that Colombians in particular are big fans of them.

'I find the idea of voice messages quite selfish. More effort is generally required from the recipient rather than the sender.'

Of course, this could simply be a reflection of those I engage with the most on WhatsApp; my bad luck. I can't say with any certainty that most Colombians prefer voice messages to texts. Nor can I say that they are used more frequently here compared to other countries.

Whatever the case, despite my WhatsApp profile About blurb beseeching contacts not to send voice messages — I guess nobody reads what's written in that section — they're something I'm regularly "forced" to tackle.

So why do they rankle with me so much?

For starters, I find the idea of them quite selfish. More effort is generally required from the recipient rather than the sender. Basically, the latter expects the former to listen to a monologue that on occasions can be akin to a mini-podcast in terms of length.

(Just to be clear — lest the hypocrisy charge be levelled at me again — when I send a blog story or podcast or whatever, I'm not demanding that the recipient engages with the content. That's, obviously enough, up to the individual. It's quite different with voice messages.)

At least with a written message it can usually be glanced over to see if it requires "urgent" attention without even entering the application. This can't be done with a voice message. One either has to stop everything one is doing to listen to what was sent or ignore the audio for a time. I usually do the latter.

Vanquishing the voice message

You see, tied in with this is the fact that I use my phone for other audio purposes i.e. listening to podcasts/radio and watching YouTube. I also use it to read books. Voice messages are a greater distraction for all these activities than written messages. Hence the wrath.

In mild mitigation, as a society, we're still trying to settle on a widely accepted etiquette for social media interaction and the like. What one person views as a great innovation is an utter annoyance to another — see, as a further example on a related theme, my previous piece railing against an ever-encroaching Big Tech.

In terms of social media specifically, however, most mental health experts would agree that the best strategy is to use them very sparingly, if at all (see Facebook, Instagram: Killing us softly).

Nonetheless, WhatsApp has now become the chief means of communication for many people. In my line of work, I'd be putting myself at a significant financial disadvantage by not having the app.

As I've said before, such things are merely tools that we must control. We shouldn't let them control us. Yet, it's beyond my control if somebody sends me a WhatsApp voice message.

So surely the brains behind WhatsApp could introduce a version without the voice-message facility or at least have an option inhibiting the ability to receive them, with this clearly displayed for any would-be voice-message sender?

Come on Mr Zuckerberg, you've done far worse to the world. Just when you do roll this out, I want my cut.
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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

Facebook: Wrong Way Corrigan — The Blog & IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz".

Breaking up (with WhatsApp groups) ain't hard to do

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

'The hardest part was leaving the WhatsApp group.' This is a common refrain you'll hear from recently retired sports stars, those who are part of teams that is.

The rather weird world of WhatsApp groups.

Groupthink

I find this rather perplexing. Do they really find the act of no longer virtually engaging with a group of people more difficult than actually not being part of the clique physically?

Maybe it's just me, but I tend to prefer to meet (most) people face to face rather than communicate via social media or other such means (there are, of course, those who I have no desire to meet by any means — the feeling is no doubt mutual). 

For sure, the pandemic has made in-person meetings more difficult yet, on the same token, it has made me appreciate real-life interaction even more so.

I guess the hard part of leaving a WhatsApp group, particularly one that is a forum for something that has been a central part of one's everyday life, is the fact that, normally, the person departing presses the leave button him/herself. 'This is it, we're parting ways and there's no going back.' Extinguishing oneself virtually, so to put it.

In defence of those sports stars who have found 'WhatsApp group removal' an emotional moment, many of them who I have read about were retiring earlier than planned for one reason or another.

For if you've reached a moment where you feel you've nothing more to give, then moving on shouldn't be such a burden. 

In fact, I would have thought leaving behind the social media chitchat would be somewhat empowering. One chapter ends, on to the next. What's more, one can still meet former teammates individually should one wish to do so.

Now, I must state that I can't speak for being part of WhatsApp groups linked to sports teams. WhatsApp wasn't a thing the last time I was fully involved with a team.

Yet, I have been and am part of various social media groups across a range of interests. I can say with confidence that my leaving of any of them would not result in sleepless nights.

'The ability to instantly interact with a bunch of people who I've either only fleetingly met or haven't met at all is not something I see as desirable.'

Indeed, I've unexpectedly left a number of groups in recent times, one of which I actually founded. It wasn't a big deal my side, although perhaps some other members raised eyebrows owing to the manner I abruptly left, I don't know.

No friend of mine

To be honest, I find many social media groups rather tedious affairs. Of the ones in which I remain, it's largely for self-publicity reasons when the need arises, as well as for getting rapid responses to the odd query or for receiving potentially useful information.

The ability to instantly interact with a bunch of people who I've either only fleetingly met or haven't met at all is not something I see as desirable. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages as far as I'm concerned.

You see, I tend not to befriend people too quickly. It's a process that appears to take even longer the older I get, and it's certainly unlikely to happen over social media. It could be said I'm leaning towards the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle's school of thought, 'A stranger is a cunt you haven't met.' Indeed.

The only real advantage I see with WhatsApp groups is that members generally don't send voice messages. I'm not a fan of rambling monologues, although I have been guilty of same in the past in one-on-one WhatsApp engagements. 'Do unto others' and all that.

In mitigation, in certain circumstances, a voice message is more desirable than a written one. They should be used sparingly all the same. (Here's a thought, WhatsApp. How about setting a daily limit on voice-message minutes per user? Like two minutes free and after that one has to pay a premium.)

On a broader scale, in terms of the various instant-messenger services available, WhatsApp certainly appears to have captivated the Western world. Where's Viber these days?

Like most of these things, I have a kind of schizophrenic relationship with it. That is, 'can't live with it, can't live without it'.

Or at least I've convinced myself of the latter. I can certainly live without WhatsApp groups. By extension, I'm sure I could live without WhatsApp. 

However, I feel I'm not quite ready to fully break up with it just yet.
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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

Facebook: Wrong Way Corrigan — The Blog & IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz".