Feigning understanding. Who cares anyway?

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

'Wow, your Spanish is very good.'
'Well, I've been based here for over ten years.'
'Oh.'

Some things are better left misunderstood.

That's how the conversation generally goes when I meet a new Spanish-speaking acquaintance in these parts. The initial positivity that this "gringo" (I'm not a gringo, I'm Irish!) can speak Colombian Spanish fairly well is tempered by my longevity in the country.

Plateau effect

Indeed, the initial boost received from being told I converse well in my second language can often rapidly bomb when some appear baffled as to why my Spanish doesn't sound more Colombian after all these years. (At times, when the mood takes me, I think I can do an OK Costeño [those from Colombia's Caribbean coast]/Venezuelan accent. I think, that is.)

Having never taken any official classes, the Spanish I have has been largely down to my own dirty work — self-taught. Somebody said to me self-learning, but isn't all learning, in effect, done by the individual? It's not learning if it's not!

My general understanding of the language is solid. I can read it pretty well — I've got through a novel and a couple of academic history books in Spanish — while my speaking is, well, fine, depending on how one views it, as we've determined above.

'My observations suggest that on many occasions the locals aren't really listening to each other.' They don't care about what others have to say.'

Nonetheless, I've certainly plateaued in the last few years. I usually feel I've enough to get by, especially considering that I use Spanish predominantly for socialising, thus the drive for further advancement is low. Indeed, I used to make it my business to regularly listen to Colombian talk radio. Now, I rarely do.

That I'm not using Spanish too frequently in a professional setting is key here. Basically, my true comprehension doesn't really get tested. There's no "tienda test" at the end of the month. How I'd fare if I had to answer questions on recent conversations and engagements, I'm not so sure.

It's not all that uncommon to find myself nodding as to signal that I understand, uttering the odd 'entiendo' or appropriate exclamation when I'm actually at best only getting half the conversation.

Of course, in the barrio tienda, there's plenty of colloquial Castellano (the official tongue of Colombia, after all) used. It can be almost like a language in itself.

Alongside this, I can at least take comfort from the fact that most of the time I am genuinely trying to listen.

'You say it best when you say nothing at all'

I say this because my observations suggest that on many occasions the locals aren't really listening to each other. This manifests itself most blatantly when the supposed listener's attention is taken up by his/her phone.

However, even when there's no device distraction, the body language — the distant look — tells me that the message isn't really being received.

When this happens to me, when I feel somebody's not really listening, I'll say it. I'm not a major fan of talking to myself — when there's company about anyway.

In these parts, though, it seems that some people don't care too much whether those they are addressing are listening or not. 'Ah sure, even if they only get a word or two, it'll have been worth it. I've had my say.'

It could point to a grand indifference on all sides. The person doing the talking doesn't care if nobody's taking in what he/she says and the supposed listener(s) equally couldn't be bothered if such nonchalance is noticed.

Sure as the song puts it, it's only words.
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"Essential" Colombian expressions to help you through the day

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here. Also see the accompanying video, available below, after the text.]

After almost ten years based in Bogotá, one might have thought that I'd be fluent in Spanish by now.

The fact is, I speak the dominant language here mostly in social settings, where conversations seldom turn into deep intellectual affairs. When I've had to use Spanish professionally, it's mostly been in a reading and writing capacity, thus I feel more comfortable using the language in those domains.

'Pa' las que sea', minus the more vulgar part you'll often hear Colombians say.

Nonetheless, and with that social, working-class element very much in mind, I've adopted a few Colombian expressions to help one through the day. Although some of them may get one into a spot of bother if used incorrectly or in the wrong context.

They are sayings that are quite removed from the polite Bogotá world of 'su merced' ('your mercy') when addressing people. Also, the likes of 'dar papaya', literally 'to give papaya fruit' and used when one exposes or has exposed oneself to a robbery or such like, I've explained umpteen times before.

Do note, years ago I published a piece on useful-to-know Colombian gestures, which you can check out here: https://wwcorrigan.blogspot.com/2013/04/more-than-words-colombias-useful-to.html. It's a handy accompaniment to this, the gestures doubling up as words as well, of course!

Ahí vamos

Perhaps my favourite of them all for the very simple fact that it has an Irish feel to it and sums up my life — and that of most people, I wager — adequately. Basically, it's similar to our use of 'grand' i.e. things aren't fantastic, but neither are they too terrible. The exact translation is 'there we go'.

'¿Cómo ha ido, Corrigan?'
'Ahí vamos.'
'No further questions, your honour.' (Except, in these parts, you generally get asked a salutatory question in a different form a multitude of times before the conversation moves on — if it moves on at all, that is.)

In the early days, I used to think it was 'hay vamos', with the Spanish pronunciation of 'hay' somewhat similar to 'ahí', especially when said rapidly. That makes no real sense, though, with 'hay' meaning 'there is/are' and 'vamos' as 'we go' or 'let's go'. It wasn't all down to my mishearing, however. Some locals do actually believe the expression is 'hay vamos'.

Marica

OK, this is far from exclusively Colombian and I did cover it in the gestures' article referenced above. It means gay/homosexual and can be used either jovially or, should the mood dictate, aggressively. Similar, it could be said, to how some British and Irish people use, to say it Cockney-accented so as to appear less offensive to some here, 'kaaaaant'.

The reason I've included it is because, in my beloved Barrio Santandercito, some people have a tendency to say 'gringo marica' when I tell a joke or make a snide remark.

This annoys me somewhat. As some of you will already know, I dislike being referred to as a gringo. Irlandés marica is fine. Gringo marica, no.

'Colombians appear to love gonorrhoea — not the actual sexually transmitted infection, blasting out the word that is.'

(Me) chupalante

This rather generic saying makes the list for the simple fact that it generated a great laugh when I was encouraged to say it in my local tienda.

'I suck' is the literal translation, as simple as that. Now is that a case of one sucking at something figuratively or actually sucking something? I guess it depends.

Pa' las que sea, gonorrea

How I understand this retort is, more or less, 'whatever (it is), gonorrhoea.' Colombians appear to love gonorrhoea — not the actual sexually transmitted infection, blasting out the word that is.

This particular saying is used in verbal defiance of somebody or something, as in, 'Bring it on, I'm more than ready.'

Péguelo, ñero

'Hit/stick it, knacker.' In my part of Ireland, knacker is probably the closest word to ñero, or ñera when referring to a female. "Officially", skanger is more accurate while in the UK it would be chav.

The expression is employed similarly to previously mentioned pa' las que sea, they seem to balance each other out.

Pirobo

When I asked my Colombian friends who use this what it means exactly, they couldn't really tell me, only to explain how it's used.

A Google search informs me that in Colombia it's another term for marica, but generally used pejoratively. From my observations, though, it's uttered similarly as well, i.e. mostly in a non-offensive manner.

Worthy mentions

Caremondá, careverga and hijueputa — the one-word version of hijo de puta, son of a bitch — are also common but certainly not unique to the Colombian capital.

Some Bogotanos, perhaps in a bid to get in touch with their costeño (people from the coast) side, use caremondá and careverga — both of which are similar to dickhead — almost in a mischievous manner. They're not "their" words, they're more the preserve of those less-refined coastal folk, so they feel like they're crossing a boundary saying them. Something like that.

Péguelo, ñero, indeed.
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Cracking the (Colombian) Spanish code

'When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.' It's very difficult to argue against that one. As a species, we're good at talking a good talk, but we don't always follow it up with the appropriate action if and when required.

You could just leave it at EU, lads ... (Image from elgranporque.com)

Alongside 'said' in the opening saying, we can add 'written' (yes, this coming from a blogger and all). The legal world is quite adept at that. The old adage of 'less is more' seems anathema to it. It likes to make things that should be pretty straightforward to comprehend – and act upon – come across as if they were written by somebody not of this world.

Yet, some languages – specifically Spanish (Colombian Spanish, anyway) in this case – are more culpable than others in this regard, and it's not exclusive to the legal sphere.

A common observation among those who translate Spanish to English here in Colombia is that the former is overly and unnecessarily wordy. 

Indeed, it can be quite the head-scratcher to figure out what's being said. This tends to be worse if someone has made a literal translation of his/her Spanish into English and asks you to proofread.

Of course, it's not always best practice to directly translate from one language to another, each one has its peculiarities, but what we're getting at here is what seems to be the same thing said a number of times, just in different ways. Plus, a lot of the time it's written in ridiculously long sentences devoid of punctuation.

In reference to the revised peace agreement between the Colombian government and Farc guerrillas, Britain's Guardian newspaper, inadvertently perhaps, touched on this: "Although the text of the new agreement was not immediately published, the president, Juan Manuel Santos, laid out certain changes in a televised speech. Some are little more than clarifications of the often-vague language of the text. Other modifications are more substantial."

For those who have had to work with Spanish texts before, that 'often-vague language' is something that will resonate. 

In legal and political contexts, as happens with other languages, it might be deliberate: leave things open to as many interpretations as possible. A reason, perhaps, why the Colombian constitution is quite lengthy. However, Spanish seems to bring this verbose approach to every sphere.

On a more trivial note, take abbreviations, where there is a doubling up on letters in some cases. For example, the United States (US), ' Estados Unidos' in Spanish, is written 'EEUU' in the abbreviated form. 'Fuerzas Militares' (literally 'Military Forces') abbreviates as 'FFMM'. (It's to do with plural terms, although it's not done in all cases.) Think about ink costs when printing these things out, guys!

Going slightly off-topic, football commentators in these parts are masters at making an uneventful football match seem as if it's the most exciting thing ever, spluttering out a thousand words a minute. The Simpsons did a good take on this years ago (back when The Simpsons was enjoyable).

There are a lot of things to like about the (Colombian) Spanish language and culture. It just seems that at times it could do with a bit of streamlining. 

There might be more than one way to write the same thing, but you don't need to put them all down at the same time.
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