Colombia's passive examination system

@wwaycorrigan

[For an audio/vlog version of this story, click here.]

A few years ago, a Colombian ex — of sorts — asked me for some urgent help. She had an English exam to take for her university. If she didn't pass it, she wouldn't be able to graduate.

She had one slight problem, though. She had very little English. Well, she practically didn't speak the language at all.

'The exam must be passed; by somebody, it doesn't matter who.'

Not-very-testing times

Cue a couple of weeks of intense English classes dictated by me to get her up to scratch. That, of course, would have been the more righteous approach. What really happened? I took the exam for her. She still, rather pathetically, had a hold over me at the time. And she knew it. At least she did watch me answer the questions; I'll give her that much.

The way that text-only, multiple-choice exam was set up — fully online, unrecorded, and with a very loose student verification mechanism — it seemed as if the university didn't really care if it was taken by the student who was meant to take it.

In other words, it effectively encouraged cheating, particularly in a country where the overall level of English, as well as the desire to speak it, is low.

Around that time, I did write a piece, Colombian universities' English at all costs, questioning the requirement for a certain level of English in courses where knowledge of the language was far from essential.

'It's not that the student must pass the test. It's a case of — using, pertinently, English's passive voice — the test must be passed . . . by somebody, it doesn't matter who.'

But eight years or so have passed since that old flame asked for my assistance; plenty of time for the universities and language institutes to re-evaluate their procedures and amend them where necessary. Except, from my latest experience, they haven't.

Sound system

For one particular institute, in any case, the acceptance of cheating — or at least playing the system — is even more blatant than what I'd witnessed before.

Here's what happened: An 18-year-old who I've never met — he was given my contact details by a production assistant on a shoot in which I recently participated — asked me to take his test for him.

This time, however, it wasn't a text exam. It was an oral one. Yes, an interview via a Zoom call. Thing is, it can be done without using the camera. The examiner just wants to hear the student's voice.

Thus, with my, um, Mid-Atlantic English accent — or is it still a west of Ireland one? — I assumed the identity of this Bogotá native teenager.

Now, if the one conducting the interview — Laura, a Colombian, who was visible to me throughout the call — genuinely thought that I was an 18-year-old studying English as a foreign language, either she's not the sharpest examiner around or my level of English is not what I thought it was. Or maybe I'm just a good actor, although I made no effort to come across as a rookie learner of the language, as the guy for whom I took the test clearly is.

Perhaps, seeing as how it must have been obvious to Laura that it wasn't an 18-year-old Colombian answering her questions, the oral exam will be declared invalid.

However, from what I gather, it's an accepted practice in certain quarters.

In essence, it's not that the student must pass the test. It's a case of — using, pertinently, English's passive voice — 'The test must be passed — by somebody, it doesn't matter who.'

Deep fake

Yes, I could have declined to take it for this guy whom I've never met. For one, the payment I received for doing it won't tempt me to dine in an exclusive Bogotá restaurant. It's barely enough for a roasted whole chicken in my working-class barrio.

Yet, curiosity got the better of my mild moral objections to this rather innocent fraud. If I hadn't done it, somebody else would have, no doubt.

What's more, if the guy was more tech-savvy, he probably could have set up ChatGPT or the like to do it for him. I'm quite behind the curve when it comes to the use of Artificial Intelligence, but from what I've heard and read, it would be up to such a task. In fact, I imagine an AI version of the student would have been a far more convincing fake than me.

Thus, with AI's overhauling of innumerable areas of human competence, Colombia's passive examination system is perhaps a better reflection of the times than what's considered best practice in other places.
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