Stories & opinions on politics, travel, sport & whatever else you're looking for, you'll more than likely find it here. Colombia — where I'm currently based — features prominently. Facebook: 'Wrong Way Corrigan — The Blog'. X: @wwaycorrigan. Podcast: The Corrigan Cast
Following changes by La Cancillería this year, that V visa I was granted 12 months ago no longer exists. So I had no real other option but to apply for this M one.
And it comes exactly 11 years after my return to Colombia. At the time, it was no more than a case of 'let's give Colombia a lash', in terms of living there for a while. Here I still am!
Approved.
__________________________________________________________ Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.
Goodness! For all the effort and, um, thespian talent I brought to these scenes from La Reina del Sur series three (episode two), surely I deserved a little more screen time!
For the record (in case you missed it in the video above), in the only lines I have, I'm the DEA agent who hands the instruction manual for the inflatable boat to my superior (the actor Ed Trucco) at the end of the clip.
Clearly, I need a bigger platform! Dark forces are trying to hold me back!
[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]
'I'm sorry, but we can't accept that photocopy of your ID.' 'Eh, why not? It's legible, isn't it?' 'Oh, it is, it's just it has to be enlarged to 150 per cent of its actual size.' 'But why?' 'Those are the rules, Sir. It's just the way it is.'
'Don't ask questions, just follow the "rules".'
Anyone who has ever had to do official business in Colombia over the years will relate to the above. There's this fastidiousness, or at least there had been, about having photocopies of documents set to a specific size.
No doubt there was some valid reason for this when it was first introduced but few — if anybody — appear to know what that reason is now. Yet, I believe, it's still a requirement in some places.
A price for pay
Such occurrences are far from unique to these parts. Across the world, there are procedures that must be followed yet when one asks why this or that is the case, hardly anyone knows the reason. Basically, they've become customary and nobody bothers to question them.
Government bodies tend to be the worst culprits (the following satirical video gives a good idea of this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYcZc62Gf6w) but it happens elsewhere, too.
The one that always bemuses me is the need to supply paymasters with a certificate issued by my bank stating that the account exists and is genuine. Why on earth would I not give details of an active, "real" account when I want to receive money owed to me for services rendered?
I've heard it said that this is to prove that I am the account holder. OK, but what business is it of those paying me where the money goes, particularly when we're talking about private individuals? Maybe, on the odd occasion, I'd like the money sent to one of my barrio buddies (at least that way there'd be a paper record of these frequent loans I give).
'Whatever we're doing or following may indeed be broken or causing harm and we don't realise it.'
I've also been told that this payment protocol is done to cut out money laundering. I'm not sure how it manages to do that exactly.
Mentioning payments, there is a tendency in the largely toxic TV and film industry here to pay contractors a minimum of 90 days after work has been done. Again, when you ask why this is, you get the standard retort: 'It's just how it is.'
What would happen if I took the same line with paying my bills? Well, I've actually a very good idea of what the consequences are — see my previous post, Grupo Vanti's vanity: 'The customer is rarely right', for more on that.
We are, though, creatures of habit and routine. And if everything seems to be just fine, we'll stick to it: The if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it approach. The problem is, whatever we're doing or following may indeed be broken or causing harm and we don't realise it.
Fishy feeling
Take people's approach to eating. We've been conditioned, particularly since the Industrial Revolution, into believing that we must eat at least three substantial meals in a 12-hour period or so. With the sedentary lifestyles many lead these days, they'd most likely get by on just one decent dish a day, if that's even needed.
We do, of course, face many challenges in rethinking our consumption habits. There's a whole industry with lots of money, power and influence that wants us to eat, drink and be merry all the time. Then there's an associated industry ready to ease the pain on our overfed bodies with even more addictive goodies.
What all this should lead to is plenty of food for thought. Alas, when it comes to critically thinking about what we're doing, what we're being asked to do and why we're doing it, many, literally, don't give these considerations a second's thought.
I'm reminded of a story of a family who used to cut raw, whole fish in a very particular, time-consuming way before frying it in the pan. Eventually, somebody questioned the practice. It was found that it started simply because a great-grandmother only had one very small pan to cook with, so she had to cut the fish the way she did.
This made perfect sense at the time and in the circumstances — in fact, it was necessary — but the reason for its continuance had long since passed.
So it can often pay off to rediscover that unceasing child inquisitiveness, to regularly ask 'Why?'. With that, we might find that there's little substance or sense behind much of what we're being asked to do. __________________________________________________________ Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.
[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]
It's not exactly a case of hit-and-miss for me when it comes to visiting random Colombian pueblos.
When an escape from Bogotá's badness and madness is needed, pretty much any town will suffice. It is the getting away that matters more so; the destination is largely of secondary importance.
Pretty La Palma: An impressive setting but it has lots of competition in this regard.
Some towns, though, naturally enough, have more going for them than others. Of course, that 'going for them' is subjective. My likes are another's dislikes (and it seems, shockingly enough, that my likes are far from universally shared).
The long and winding road
Regardless of a visitor's preferences, however, La Palma, in the north-west of Colombia's Cundinamarca department, is unlikely to get top marks in any category.
Yes, its setting is impressive. But the same can be said for pretty much any Andean town. Ditto for its friendly-but-not-overbearingly-so locals.
That it's not quite a popular tourist spot is, as far as I'm concerned, more a positive than a negative. Yet, with that, there's the what's-there-to-do question. OK, I like wandering around hilly terrain, but La Palma has plenty of better-organised competition in this regard.
The journey getting there does see one pass through some rather spectacular Andean scenery as the way winds alongside the fast-flowing Río Negro at various intervals.
However, after Pacho, large tracts of the road resemble conditions akin to what the Spanish must have had to deal with when on their initial rampage in these parts.
In contrast, for example, on the equally aesthetically pleasing and winding route to San Luis de Gaceno, 26 kilometres further away from Bogotá than La Palma (in another direction that is), the road is more 20th century than 15th century.
The result is that having safely arrived in La Palma, one really needs at least 48 hours there before facing into the return journey. Perhaps the locals want it that way.
'Years ago, it probably was a no-go area for visitors but, like many places in Colombia, today it seems safe.'
Tucked away at an altitude of just under 1,500 metres above sea level and surrounded by many forested hills, the town's mid-20s (degrees Celsius) temperature average is more than agreeable. It makes the thunderous downpours of this time of year more tolerable compared to a chillier, duller Bogotá.
As is the case with many similar-sized towns in Colombia, there are various hotel options. I threw in my lot with Hotel Ruby, just off the main square.
While there are "fancier" options, when one just needs a comfortable bed with toilet facilities in a relatively clean environment and, of course, steady Wi-Fi, Ruby does the job. At 20,000 pesos per night, it's also far from extortionate.
A day rambling the usually quiet roads around La Palma.
However, what is a little — just a little — more expensive in La Palma compared to my basic Bogotá barrio is socialising. This is because this side of Cundinamarca — it's the same in nearby El Peñón — is averse to 750 ml/litre bottles of beer.
Thus, one gets less pop for one's peso, so to put it i.e. 2,500 pesos for 330 ml of Poker in La Palma versus 4,000 pesos for a litre in my Bogotá local. It does encourage one to drink less all the same, so it has its plus side.
Also lacking, considering the town's size — easily twice as big as San Luis de Gaceno and a good bit bigger than El Peñón — are a few standard, traditional tiendas.
By traditional, I refer to what some may consider tacky. This is "tacky" in terms of tables and chairs anyway — those Aguila- or Poker-labelled plastic ones supplied by Colombia's beer beast, Bavaria.
Something in the air
Balancing out this beer bleakness, it has the odd establishment that actually offers decent coffee. This is quite the positive in light of the fact that in many non-touristy Colombian towns getting an unsweetened, strong brew is practically impossible.
One, somewhat strange commonality La Palma has with other places at a similar altitude is that it occasionally has a certain whiff in the air. It reminds me of a globally popular Colombian product, beginning with the letter 'c'. No, not coffee, the other one.
I must add, I did not see it nor did I get any hint that the locals consume it. I'm solely referring to that distinct, petrol-like smell of the substance in its refined form. And I don't think it was simply petrol that I smelt. Now, my Bogotá friends did tell me that La Palma was 'caliente', 'hot'. They weren't, though, referring to the weather. By this 'caliente' they meant it was a conflict zone. I got no real hint of that.
Years ago, it probably was a no-go area for visitors but, like many places in the country, today it seems safe. One is unlikely to find trouble unless one looks for it.
My biggest bugbear was the loud music blaring out of a couple of bars on the main square well into the early hours on my first night there, a Friday. The thin walls and open-court layout of Hotel Ruby offer scant sound insulation.
This particular racket might have been for a special occasion, as it wasn't as much of an issue on the subsequent nights. And going by the overall vibe, I'm sure things are rather tranquil midweek.
I won't, however, be in any mad rush back to see if that is actually the case. This isn't to say that I didn't like my stay there. On the contrary, I enjoyed it.
It's just that, from Bogotá, there are easier country towns to get to. It's far from a rule that the more taxing the journey is in inverse proportion to the quality of the destination. __________________________________________________________ Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.
[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]
'What is love?' Those of a certain vintage may instantly think of the 1993 pop hit from Haddaway on hearing that question. It does, though, go back a little further. It has troubled the minds of our greatest thinkers through the ages.
Does true, long-lasting love really exist?
Lovemaking and breaking
Some believe in soulmates, that there is a matching partner "out there" for each one of us, and in finding that match we'll discover true love.
The more scientifically-minded amongst us are somewhat sceptical of such a view. If we all do have a soulmate, going by the number of broken or very troubled relationships, it would appear most have failed to find the one.
Fair enough, it's not the case that a soulmate relationship must be free from conflict and hardship. Now that would be truly delving into the realms of fantasy.
No, the thinking is more along the lines of 'love conquers all'. That is to say, when problems arise, genuine soulmates have a deep desire to sort them out. If this is clearly lacking, it's probably best to move on.
When it comes to sexual relationships, discovering — or at least believing — that a mistake has been made after children have been brought into being complicates things quite a bit. Moving on isn't that straightforward. Or at least it shouldn't be if the welfare of the innocent children is sufficiently considered. This welfare is particularly important when we're talking about pre-adolescent children.
'The concept of true love and soulmates seems far-fetched.'
There's no simple solution to such a situation. It could be that one is in a bad place mentally, has been pushed to the limit by the "other half" and simply can't stand being in her company. Yet, just walking away from it all is one of the last options for the caring parent.
In most cases, but not all, it's the man — assuming he has been and wants to remain a reliable father — who more acutely faces the leave dilemma. This is in the sense that the care of the children will largely be left to the mother. The man risks becoming something of an enforced-by-law fleeting father.
At the first sign of relationship difficulties, many look for the exit door rather than search for a fix. This is made easier in places where separation and divorce are not the taboos they once were.
That we're more interconnected than ever before could also be seen as a factor. Attractive alternatives, if only superficially, are never far away.
In such an environment, the concept of true love and soulmates seems far-fetched.
Easy come, easy go
This brings us to the idea that love, of the everlasting kind that is, isn't something that comes naturally. It's a changeable of-the-moment emotion. We can fall out of love in the same way as we fall in love — granted the former is often harder to do, with jealousy and self-pity playing significant parts.
This isn't just in the romantic sphere. It can be seen in both family and platonic relationships. (I write as someone who has never really experienced deep love in the romantic sense. Most affairs of the past have been merely lustful, with little desire to build them into anything more meaningful.)
At its heart, though, are honesty and trust. Without those, it's either doomed to fail or will be beset with continuous problems. Indeed, it would be better for all concerned if it were the former.
So, what is love? When it comes to romantic relationships specifically, I'm not exactly an authority on the matter.
Nonetheless, what I can proffer — and like most things in life — is that it is something that requires care and attention. It might appear to come rather easily but it's sure to go even more easily without giving it the devotion it deserves.
Alas, on this front, we are often more aware of the shortcomings of others than our own. __________________________________________________________ Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.
[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]
Having gone from a very casual cyclist in Bogotá to a more regular one over the last few months, I've become acquainted with the rush-hour hustle, in a part-time capacity in any case.
Bogotá's cycle paths, like many things in Colombia, are something of a free-for-all.
The various infrastructural issues with stretches of the capital's ever-expanding cycle lanes notwithstanding — something I elaborated on in Bogotá's biking blues — it can be assumed that cycling in the city today is safer than it was a decade or so ago.
One reason for this is the very fact that there are more push-bike exclusive-ish paths, thus reducing interactions with the murderous motorised machines. That's the idea/hope anyway.
A vicious cycle
Yet, the aggressive, devil-may-care driving displayed by those who get behind the wheel of a car has its biking equivalent. This is to be expected in a country where the thinking of many seems to be along the lines of, 'Whatever rules may apply, these are for others to obey, not me.'
A substantial number of cyclists — and e-scooter users (can we call them e-scooterers?! I do have other terms for these particular menaces that I shan't repeat here) — must believe that traffic lights are nothing more than luminous displays. If they notice their existence at all, that is.
It may indeed be the latter because they certainly don't seem to notice the existence of other cycle-lane users.
Heaven forbid one might have to wait behind a long line of bikes at a busy junction. 'I'm in a rush to get to work, another place where I get to demonstrate my lack of care and attention.' Quite.
Now, I must say, I'm not totally against proceeding at a red light when it's clearly safe to do so and one is at the top of the queue. It's those who barge their way forward from way back who truly annoy me.
To add insult to injury, I've often found myself having to overtake such barging bikers shortly after their junction jumping. I'd be less angry if they were speedsters. But many aren't.
With such selfish behaviour commonplace, one is often compelled to follow suit. The road is long and uncaring for the rule-obeying cyclist, just as it is for the law-abiding citizen in general in many parts of the world.
Thus, what should be a healthy, refreshing morning commute turns into a stress-filled battle of wits.
'Many e-scooterers use their high-speed, not-as-green-as-they-think-they-are contraptions as if they're auditioning to be the next James Bond.'
For the record, when one cycles at off-peak times — which I do on the return from my Parque 93 classes — it is usually a more relaxed affair.
Having said that, my spin to work, which takes me southwards from Calle 170 along Avenida Novena, is seen as one of the more "civilised" routes. Deeper south, things are said to be even more chaotic (I have experienced this side on the odd occasion but I can't comment with any authority).
This careless conduct isn't going to change overnight. Indeed, it won't change at all if there's no genuine attempt to do so.
It's not a hopeless situation, though. The Sunday/public holiday ciclovía, an initiative where many of Bogotá's main thoroughfares are closed off to vehicular traffic from 7 am to 2 pm for the exclusive use of pedestrians and cyclists, offers some clues to a better way.
On such days, city authorities deploy personnel to "police" busy junctions. When traffic lights are red, they'll often pull a rope across the road to hold pedestrians, cyclists, rollerbladers and what have you in place.
From my limited observations of the practice, it seems to work. (I'm not a major fan of travelling on ciclovía routes. As a mild misanthrope, I find the many bodies about quite irritating.)
OK, having such personnel in place at weekday rush hours, when commuters are generally less jovial, is another matter. But hey, there is a police force here for such tasks.
Then again, there are many things here that police should be policing but not only do they not police them, they often commit the offences themselves.
Another positive of ciclovía is its one-way system. Granted space is at a premium in the city, but introducing more one-way cycle lanes where possible could help to reduce commuter tensions.
Upsetting the Bond market
While the previous suggestion has merit in its own right, I think it carries even more weight in light of the recent invasion of the cycle ways by those aforementioned menaces, the e-scooterers.
Not all e-scooter users are evil, but ...
Seeing as how many of these types appear to use their high-speed, not-as-green-as-they-think-they-are contraptions as if they're auditioning to be the next James Bond, my preference is to ban them altogether. (There are similar calls across the world.)
With such an outright ban unlikely, they should at least be prohibited on cycle lanes and footpaths. Basically, battle it out with other battery-containing/powered modes of transport, wannabe 007s.
Cycle lanes and footpaths, separately (or as close to separately as possible), should be reserved exclusively for those burning their own energy to get around, save for people with genuine mobility problems. So yes, motorised-bike or electric-moped users should also stay off the cycle lanes.
As pointed out, we old-fashioned pedallers have enough with which to concern ourselves without having to compete with these lazy new-age commuters.
So while I'll be happy to return to my preferred walking ways when my teaching work finishes shortly, I'd still like to give the snooty e-scooterers the boot. __________________________________________________________ Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.
.jpg "A somewhat pleasant surprise: Colombian independence — confirmation of the approval of the M visa")
.jpg "A somewhat pleasant surprise ... Colombian independence: Confirmation of the approval of the M visa")
.png "My blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance in La Reina del Sur III: Brendan 'Wrong Way' Corrigan \"starring\" as a DEA agent in Telemundo's La Reina del Sur III.")
.png "Best DEA agent in the business. Wrong Way demands more exposure!")
.jpg "Everlasting love: Is it real or is it just fantasy?")
.jpg "The bellicose side to biking in Bogotá, worsened by the snooty \"e-scooterers\"")
