Cali on the fringes

'What?! You were in Cali for its famous end-of-year festival and you didn't go to it. Madness!'

That's pretty much how most view our (three like-minded Irishmen that is) non-attendance at any of the Cali festival events during our recent visit there.

This "shock" is understandable, of course. People flock from far and wide to check out what is viewed as one of Colombia's biggest and best festivals.

Cali from a high.

What better way to get into the salsa swing — Cali is regarded as the salsa capital — when much of the city is in party mood?

Truth is, we'd generally prefer to shovel stiff concrete on a hot day than awkwardly move to salsa. Sure, we've given it a go before, but we just don't enjoy it.

Anyway, there was/is more to the festival than salsa; well, we guess so. However, our choice of hotel left us quite removed from the festival vibe.

The rather industrial, rough-and-ready, Barrio Santander wouldn't be most visitors' choice of location to overnight it in Cali. Yet, at festival time prices unsurprisingly shoot up in the more popular locations, such as the tourist-heavy San Antonio.

So getting a private room for 20,000 COP a night was a bargain not to be turned down. Plus, the city centre was only a steady 30-minute walk away.

In any case, as our few regular readers may have guessed, hanging around and socialising in Colombia's working-class barrios isn't at all anathema to us.

You could say we were getting a truer reflection of how Cali rolls. Away from the crowds and the tourists that the festival attracts.

It's what we enjoy doing when in a new place. Get an idea of what it's like to live in, Wrong Way style. Thus, finding the value locations is one of the important things in this regard.

As the country's third biggest city, it's not exactly a relaxing escape from the normal mayhem of Bogotá. This was one reason why we weren't overly bothered that after over six years in the country we'd never visited the place.

Taking into account that it was the festive period, there was a nice feel to it nonetheless. A much warmer climate, but not overbearingly so, than that of Bogotá played its part in this.

The picturesque church in Barrio San Antonio.

Now, considering we had three, um, moderate-drinking Irishmen together at end-of-year holiday time, there wasn't much exploring done.

We did, however, find time to trek up Cerro de Las Tres Cruces (Hill of the Three Crosses). At an altitude of 1,480 metres, it's over 400 metres higher than the city itself. It's a nice little workout to get to the top, from where you get nice views of the metropolis. (Apparently the barrio at the start of the trek can be somewhat dangerous, but we didn't get any sense of that.)

You can also push yourself a bit more and pump some iron and concrete in the outdoor 'gym' at the summit. We gave it just a short test — one wouldn't want to overdo it.

Apart from that and a bit of wandering around the centre and Barrio San Antonio, that was pretty much our Cali experience. Some people might consider it a shameful act for where we were, but there wasn't a salsa dance in sight.

We won't get our legs in a tangle over that one, though.
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'IQuiz you not; Bogotá's top trivia night is back!'

It's a new year (are we still allowed to call it that?) and time for a new IQuiz. Yes, that somewhat novel — in a Bogotá context anyway — night out that has taken the city by, um, storm. Well a sort of inconspicuous storm.

The first ever IQuiz winners. Can they win again?!

It was a case of 'eight not out' last year with each of them being fairly successful for a fledgling event. The concept of a pub table quiz generally doesn't require explaining to Western expats, but for some Colombians it does. It's not a 'serious' test of one's knowledge, just a few differently-themed rounds of generally light-hearted questions in a fun, slightly alcohol-fuelled (if that’s your wont) environment. And you do it with company; friends and/or strangers. You could call it — at a stretch — salsa for those who don't want to get off their seats.

This time, for the first one of 2016, we're trialling a new venue; the idea always has been that IQuiz can be a moveable feast. So after alternating between The Pub's (or the 'Irish Pub' as some call it) La Candelaría and Zona T venues, for this latest renewal we're at the newly opened Pub House on Carrera Séptima with Calle 51 in Chapinero.

As a heads-up for this latest edition (keep it to yourself), we've got an audio round based on Oscar-winning songs, a picture round where you've to name the beer from its logo, a crossword puzzle round, a round of 'firsts' and a couple of general knowledge rounds.

Now while a quiz is nothing without the participants (and thanks to all those who have come and, hopefully, are going to come), having decent prizes also helps. In this regard, our host venues have been helpful providing free drinks and discounts while the trophy prize comes courtesy of the Irish whiskey Tullamore DEW. Ron Medellín is also on board this time around. The sponsorship is of course well received; more is always welcome, too!

So if you find yourself looking for something to do on Thursday February 18th, you could do worse than check out IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz"; honestly, you could. The Facebook event page has all the details. Plus, with St Patrick's Day coming up next month, we're in line to have an IQuiz special to celebrate that. What fun times ahead; here’s hoping anyway!

*For an idea of what to expect, below was our picture round from a previous quiz. How many of the landmarks do you know? (No cheating!):

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Just DON'T want to dance the night away

That old adage, 'If you can't beat them, join them', is pretty much contrary to what this blog is all about. However, for some things, putting up resistance can be personally damaging, both in the short and long term.

To the victor (on the dance floor) go the spoils ...

You see in Colombia, as is the case throughout Latin America (Chile excepted, somewhat), a night out with the locals invariably involves dancing; and normally a lot of it. 

Not only that, but we're talking dancing with style and rhythm, the chief types being salsa and vallenato, along with what might be seen as the less stylish yet more erotic champeta.

So this isn't your skill-less, jumping-around tomfoolery that you typically see in most Western world clubs and pubs. No, there's a pattern to this and not to know it leaves you at a distinct disadvantage.

Now as a recognised 'wooden' northern European there is, thankfully, a little bit of leeway from the ladies on the rare occasions I do, reluctantly as it is, take to the floor. Heck, there are usually even words of praise as I awkwardly shuffle about the place.

Well, when in Colombia ...

The reality, however, is that they are humouring me. That's very clear when they match up with somebody who actually knows what he's at; their true joy at not having to move around with a log is disenchantingly (from my perspective, that is) palpable. (See video, below, for an example of the 'prize' for being able to dance 'properly'.)

Plus, having been based in Bogotá for over three years at this stage, the tolerance towards my lack of dancing nous is steadily decreasing. This is even more so the case considering I realised early on the advantages – in terms of picking up chicas anyway – of knowing at least the basic salsa steps. I should, so it goes, be able to move much better by now.

The reason why I can't or, more accurately, don't isn't puzzling. In fact, it's simple: I do not enjoy it. On the contrary, I pretty much detest it.

Yes, as noted, I've been 'forced' into it over the years, buoyed up with a little Dutch courage. But whenever I have engaged in it, the general feeling is I'd rather be shovelling thick concrete in a hot midday sun (um, in a figurative sense that is).

Before it's said I'm a complete statue, I do move to music. But the way I ‘feel’ it, Wrong Way style you might say. And as many Colombians have observed, I tend to move more in the shoulders than the hips, which certainly doesn’t complement the Latino style.

What’s more, dancing is not the focus of a night out for me; it’s a distraction if anything. I do it because I feel I must rather than having any real desire. I guess that’s why I generally avoid locations where dancing is an integral part of the place. OK, this is hard to come by in Colombia, but some social settings, such as most of my preferred tienda bars, are a little lighter on the dancing front than others.

Thus, as damaging as it may be in some ways, the partial resistance looks set to continue. In any case, I’ve always got my mock Irish dancing to impress the locals. ‘Hup ya boy ya!’

Bogotá's simple pleasures II: "Up the hill", "Nazi" and free beer

We’ve written before about the simple pleasures that we enjoy here in Bogotá.* In the last half year or so there have been two important additions to that list to which we must give due mention. Indeed, considering the time and money we’ve spent (well spent that is, most of the time) in both locations it would be remiss of us not to pay them homage.

They both fall into the tienda bar category – that is cheap-and-cheerful, rough-and-ready places to consume a few beers. Perhaps it’s an Irish trait, but no matter where we are in the world we always like to find a place (or two) we can call our local.

Elusive Lucio – keeping the beer flowing.

Initially, here in Bogotá’s La Candelaría district, we stumbled upon the popular, fairly reasonably priced Doña Ceci’s. It fulfilled its purpose for a while, but after devoting a nice chunk of time to the place, it became a little disappointing that we remained just another number, another ‘foreigner with money’ to the rather cold, tacaña owner. 

We don’t demand a lot, but a little appreciation and recognition from time to time that we’re good customers wouldn’t go astray – what a local should, at the very least, be about. Alas, with Doña Ceci, this was never forthcoming.

However, the tiendas where we now like to relax at the weekends (and the odd weekday) score high on those points and more. Both places are such bog-standard, Colombian drink holes that they don’t even have a name – at least not an obvious one that we’ve noticed. Thus, we’ve had to christen them ourselves (and regularly continue to wet the baby’s head at that).

So there’s Up the hill due to its location which is, predictably enough, at a bit of a higher altitude than where we live, on the borders of the supposedly not-that-safe barrios of Egipto and Belén south of the city centre. 

Then there’s Nazi bar which, perhaps not so predictably, has nothing to do with – in any meaningful sense anyway, as far as we’re aware or concerned – the fascist movement that found its home in Germany in the 1930s and 40s. 

It’s been dubbed that because the very affable twenty-something-year-old owner, Lucio, has for some reason that we’ve yet to ask him, a faint swastika tattoo on his hand. Considering he doesn’t exactly resemble nor have the ethnic background of a typical Nazi, we like to think that the symbol for him represents one of its non-violent meanings – ‘to be good’.

In any case, actions speak louder than words (or symbols) and Lucio has only ever been a complete gentleman to us. Indeed, of late he has adopted the Irish custom of the lock-in after hours. A free grande (that’s a 750ml bottle of beer, Poker being our preferred option) on our birthday was also very much appreciated. Small things, but they make a difference. 

Now, while Nazi’s grandes are a tad more expensive than our other local (3,000 pesos versus 2,500 pesos or €1.20 compared to €1 if you like – every little helps) Lucio’s friendly demeanour and appreciation to have us as patrons (how privileged he is) more than makes up for that. It also must be said he does benefit from a location advantage – he’s just a stone’s throw away from our residence.

Fun & games Up the hill. Is there anybody serving, though?

As for Up the hill, while the cheaper beer may have been the initial strongest pulling point, the treatment we receive, not just from the extremely friendly Paisa-blooded** owners and staff but the other Bogotáno regulars who drink there too, means that we feel bad if we don’t make a visit at least once a week.

Indeed, the chief owner is almost like a mother figure to us – in a good sense, that is. Not only was there free beer for our birthday, but a cake to boot. As for the other revellers who frequent the place, it’s rare we leave without getting at least one free drink landed on our table; all this from one of the city’s "poorer" regions, especially so when compared to the exclusive north.

So much have these places become what you might call our home from home, the constant salsa and vallenato music that’s played in them is almost becoming likeable for us. We’ve even been known to do a spot of salsa-ing once we’re merry enough (for a greater discussion about our Colombian dancing exploits, see http://bit.ly/S7A8eS).

All that’s missing in both places are a few prettier chicas from time to time – perhaps the ones that generally frequent the plush north could visit, just leave the attitude and arrogance at home. We can dream, can’t we?

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*'Bogotá's simple pleasures' http://bit.ly/Uzc3lk.

**Paisa is the name given to a person hailing from north-west Colombia, specifically the departments of Antioquia, Caldas, Quindío and Risaralda. 

Lord of the Dance

One of the main problems when relocating to a new country can be getting to grips with the different cultural traits that exist. It depends, of course, where you go. A location that speaks the same language as your native land and is quite similar in terms of behaviour shouldn’t be much of a challenge. 

For an Irishman, Colombia might best be described as a half-way house in this regard. In terms of similarities, both countries are former colonies, predominantly Catholic – in name, anyway – and have a significant but ailing threat from leftist paramilitaries – it counts. 

On a lighter note, alcohol plays a pretty "healthy" role in most celebratory occasions in the two nations – something you won’t find in many countries in the Orient, for example. 

Of course, there are big differences – the language being perhaps the most glaringly obvious. Also, as mentioned, while Colombia and Ireland might have a similar relaxed attitude to booze, how both populations enjoy themselves with said alcohol in hand is quite different.

Smooth operator - practice makes perfect.

What we refer to here, first and foremost, is the dancing. 

For most Irish people – the men anyway – this is seen as an annoying, needless distraction while enjoying a few drinks. Nightclubs are a necessary evil in order to continue drinking after you get turfed out of the pub. 

However, for Colombians – and this holds true for the men just as much as the women – dancing is an essential part of any night out. Not getting on the floor is criminal in their eyes. 

Now, we’re not on about the jumping around lunatic style dancing that we can all just about manage when we’re sufficiently well-oiled. Yes, that exists here too, but to mix it with the locals in these parts what you need are the skills of up-tempo salsa. For somebody from the western extremes of Europe, that can be quite difficult to acquire.
 

In terms of picking up women on a night out, though, it certainly helps to be a dab hand at it. As a salsa-proficient, American friend mused, asking a girl to dance is a very inoffensive way of attempting to get with her. It can easily transcend the language barrier if your Spanish isn’t up to scratch. So without those sultry salsa skills, you can be at a major disadvantage when it comes to playing the dating game here.

Throw in an ultra-conservative, reserved and impatient approach to the art of romance in a country where the native men are certainly not backwards about being forward in this regard and you can find yourself on the back foot very quickly. 

You’ve got to be far more aggressive here – a player if you will. The women, as the evidence suggests, expect as much. It’s something we’re slowly learning. Only slowly, though. 

We must point out at this stage that the aforementioned standoffish romantic approach is far from an arrogant trait as some people think it is. 

In fact, it is quite the opposite. But developing a bit more of an offensive style, as much out of character as it may be, is a must in these parts – or perhaps anywhere. As a learned comrade put it, do you expect the ladies to jump on top of you? Well, it would be nice – in most cases.

Although the Bee Gees (or Boyzone for those of you from a later vintage) 'words are all I have' method of getting with the opposite sex has worked relatively well for us thus far, it appears that much more is to be gained from even just a slight change in tactics. 

Or at the very least adopting just a bit of what we’ve discovered since moving here.

Why bother with salsa when you can do this?

Being more aggressive is something we can achieve – as long as we don’t go too over the top. We’re not ready to be deported from Colombia just yet. The salsa, on the other hand, we’re not too sure about that one. 

We can improvise, though. So how about bringing Riverdance*, Wrong Way Corrigan style to the Colombian masses? South America’s Lord of the Dance if you will. The rewards will surely be endless, right?

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*If you're unfamiliar with Irish dancing, or specifically Riverdance in this regard, check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpG6S_iF3x8.