IQuiz LXIII: A taste of Bogotá's top trivia night, the comeback special!

@wwaycorrigan

The end-of-year bumper quiz, a tradition for many publications — English-language ones in any case (is it a thing in other languages?).

And some of you may be aware that I had been running a quiz (or trivia, if you prefer) night, IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz", in Bogotá since 2015. This year, though, largely due to my more nomadic nature of late, looked set to be the first one without an IQuiz since its inception. But, thanks to the fine folks at the Irish Embassy, I was coaxed out of my trivia retirement to compile and present an IQuiz — the 63rd one all told — for the embassy's Christmas get-together. That took place on Friday 13 December — one can't afford to be superstitious in these straitened times!

Take the IQuiz test

Now, not to let a good (if I do say so myself) quiz be confined to a select view, and following in that end-of-year-quiz tradition, below I'm sharing the bulk of the questions asked on the night, minus the Christmas songs that made up the last round — I can't really share the audio here! Thus, you'll also have to skip over the other questions that have an audio element to them. Nonetheless, there's enough in it to have some fun over the festive period.

I won't publish the answers just yet. If there's a question that's truly bugging you and you want the answer, get in touch via the comments!

Enjoy!
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Round 1, questions 1-5.

Round 1, questions 6-10.

Round 2, questions 1-6.

Round 2, questions 7-10.

Round 3, questions 1-4.

Round 3, questions 5-10.

Round 4, questions 1-5.

Round 4, questions 6-10.

IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz", edition LIV: The Quiz-mas cracker!

@wwaycorrigan

A Quiz-mas cracker of an IQuiz. Play it for fun!

It's our Quiz-mas cracker (see what we've done there?!) edition of IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz", Bogotá's top trivia night.

And while nothing beats being there (honestly, it's better played live, competing with others in a fun, lively environment!), at least this video version gives you a flavour of what it's about. The live event was at Cervecería Gigante on 16 December 2021.

Have a go via Vimeo at https://vimeo.com/658108567 or find it on YouTube at https://youtu.be/g-v3fSaydu0 (see video link below, too).

Let us know how you get on and feel free to leave comments and suggestions. Good luck!

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Christmas, the one thing that arrives early in Colombia

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

Back in my largely innocent childhood days one of the most depressing times was when Christmas came to an end. In fact, the painful comedown started to kick in shortly after 25 December.

Decking out the place for Christmas ... in October.

Everything was building up to the giddy excitement of early on Christmas morning, discovering all the goodies Santa had delivered — they were never in doubt, seeing how I was such a little angel all year.

Quick-fire Christmas

So, while the afterglow lasted for a period, the sad realisation that I'd have to wait another year for Mr Claus' arrival didn't take long to set in. Within a couple of days, the spectre of a return to school and 'normal' times began to play on my mind.

Now, I do recall the official — that is to say, putting up the decorations — Corrigan run-in to Christmas being fairly short. 

Amongst my village friends, our household would invariably be one of the last to be decked out. It wasn't unusual for some frantic decorating to still be happening on the 24th. 'Time enough for it', was the thinking, I guess. I'm pretty sure if it was left to my father, decorations wouldn't go up at all.

At the height of the Celtic Tiger years as Ireland embraced US-style flashiness, or superficiality you might say, and as I moved on from Santa, it pretty much became unacceptable for any respected family not to have their house 'Christmas ready' by mid-December. (At about the same time, again mimicking our Yankee cousins, Halloween decorations appeared to have become mandatory in many households.)

That being so, for what I assume is the majority of Irish people, rolling out the Christmas decorations before December is still a no-no. Five weeks of Christmas is enough, almost one-tenth of the year as it is. The fact that most radio stations hold off on playing festive tunes until at least 01 December is a sign of that.

'As a sufferer of depression, I can't help but think of her state of mind when she has to take down all these Christmas decorations, in mid-January at the earliest as it most likely will be.'

For a fair number of Colombian families, in contrast, the Yuletide yearning tends to show itself in earnest in October. While some might follow the 'let's at least get Halloween out of the way first' mantra — do note, the 'night of the dead' is a lively affair here — others have their sights set on Christmas.

Radio stations are complicit. The end-of-year hits are being banged out as soon as September ends.

In my current house share, the landlady is very much in this bring-on-Christmas brigade. For the last week, she's been, slowly but surely, kitting out the place. By the looks of things, not one inch of the house, the ground floor anyway, will be free from a festive covering.

Emotional moment

It doesn't bother me, as long as I don't have to do any of the decorating. I'm kind of indifferent to Christmas at this stage.

I do, however, slightly worry for the landlady herself. As somebody who appears to suffer from depression, I can't help but think of her state of mind when she has to take down all these decorations, in mid-January at the earliest as it most likely will be.

Of course, we all have downers after highs, it's natural. 'What goes up' and all that.

Yet, the lady of my current 'manor', considering her condition, seems to be putting herself through an unnecessary emotional high. I just hope she can manage the inevitable comedown when it's all over, when everything from the Santa dolls to the glittery balls has to be packed away.

You might say I'm being a bit of a curmudgeon, a Grinch even. I beg to differ. I like a party as much as the next person.

It's just that experience has taught me to try to not get too lost in the moment when surfing the high waves. That way, you'll generally be in a better position to manage the crash when it envelops you, you'll be able to avoid being drowned by emotions.

That's the theory, anyway. As ever, executing it in practice is usually much more difficult. At least we've covid-19 to keep us all in check this year.
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Who needs Ebenezer Scrooge when there's Adidas ...

The world, it's true to say, has never been as interconnected, and not just in a virtual way. We can move around the globe like no other time in our history, finding ourselves immersed in cultures quite distinct from our own, yet at the same time be close to home comforts — in some shape or form, anyway — should we feel the need to seek them.

In many ways and for many people, this interconnectedness is a good thing. It can help, especially when it happens in a physical, real way, to break down boundaries among peoples, to make us question any prejudices we may have, to remove the 'fear of the others' mentality.

Adidas: Bigger than Christmas ...

However, in the same way that no two individuals are the same, cultural differences exist across the world. While it can be argued that an 'Americanisation' has swept superficially over the Western world and countries closely linked to it, differences remain at a deeper level. The former foreign minister of the USSR, Vyacheslav Molotov, was only partially right in his prediction in this regard back in 1946.

All aboard the Adidas world

Thus, it tends not to be best practice to lump everybody together in whatever you happen to be at. Yet this is exactly what sportswear giant Adidas seems to be doing with regard to its marketing strategy; a kind of 'one size fits all' approach if you will.

It all comes down to, we have it on good authority, a strategic change made a few years back, where it moved from a commercial focus to a brand one. Basically, this appears to mean that Adidas must be marketed pretty much the same across the world, whether that's in Beijing or Bogotá. Cultural differences aren't considered — or at least they are deemed not important enough to warrant a country or regional alteration in approach.

How that has played out at this time of year is a lack of direct and obvious recognition of the Christmas season. This is to say that in Adidas stores you won't find a festive flavour to them; a good thing for some people that, but Colombia 'does Christmas' with as much gusto as the best of them. The 'bland' Adidas stores will stand out, and the risk is this won't be viewed in a good light.

Adidas Colombia did suggest a marketing campaign that had a bit of a seasonal swing to it, but not ostentatiously so. Personally, I thought it was much better than the nondescript global one (which, incidentally, originally focused on basketball, a sport that doesn't register much of a beat in these parts). However, the company's chiefs said 'nay' to the Colombian creation; but who are we to question global Adidas? It is a German company after all.

In one sense, it might be a thinking, and perhaps with reason, that Adidas is a sort of culture in itself and thus doesn't need to be concerned with others or with seasons. It's bigger than Christmas and all such malarkey. Plus, as noted above, the main focus for the company has shifted to its brand over the commercial side of things. (Obviously, there's a delicate balance there; the principal focus would soon switch back if sales declined. You don't get to Adidas' position, though, without having your homework well done.)

So while the Adidas approach may frustrate its employees on the ground in Colombia, it might just be reflecting a world that is more homogeneous than ever before. We may have our cultural differences but for some things, they matter little.
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The art of darts

The online edition of the Oxford English Dictionary defines sport as 'an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment'.

The home theatre for the last couple of weeks.

The amount of 'physical exertion' required to make something a sport isn't specified and, ergo, it's open to debate as to what classifies as one and what doesn't.

For many, darts does not fall into the sport category. 

This is the game — the chief version of it anyway —  where you throw metal arrows (darts) at a circular board numbered randomly from one to 20 with double and treble segments on each number, and a red 'bull' at its centre worth 50, surrounded by a narrow green ring valued 25.

In general, the main place you'll find people playing this, outside of the trade's professionals, is in a pub — that is to say in an alcohol-selling, (usually) laid-back venue.

So to describe it as a sport just doesn't sit well with many people's perceptions of such. 

For one, when most think of sport and those who practice it, they imagine well-ripped bodies, a picture-book image of ultimate fitness. Darts' leading lights don't exactly, erm, fit that description.

Yet, to come back to the dictionary definition, darts is certainly something that requires skill. 

Yes, anyone can throw a metal arrow at a board, in the same way that anyone can kick a football. But to throw it with accuracy and consistency over a period of time in a contest is something completely different. It is the quintessential game of millimetres. 

In terms of physical exertion, well there is a continuous throwing action required and you don't exactly get the chance to sit down and relax.

However you view it, the game/sport and the whole show around it appears to have grown significantly in popularity and exposure, as well as prize money for the players, in northern Europe — Britain, Ireland and the Netherlands especially — over the last decade or so.

Tejo — Colombia's 'darts' ...

That 'show' element has been crucial. A night out watching the globe's top darts players — something I've had the pleasure to do twice — is great craic (fun) as we say in Ireland. 

What's more, even with limited knowledge of the game, not that it's that hard to comprehend, it generally makes for compulsive viewing on TV. Real-life drama, as we've had on numerous occasions at the PDC World Championship over the last few days. (For the record, there are two rival world governing bodies, the other being the BDO, both of which host world championships.)

OK, I'm writing as one of the converted and once I understand any sport I tend to appreciate it, even if I don't play it. (However, I must state that I did win a darts doubles tournament in my local pub in Ireland years back; it was more thanks to my playing partner but a win's a win!)

It's why that over this Christmas period, although I'm thousands of miles away from the action, in a country where darts doesn't register a beat — though Colombia does have versions in tejo and bolirana, minus the professional organisation/glamour — I've been like a hermit, in a positive way methinks, streaming the world championship action in my apartment.

Some sort of normality, whatever that is, will resume when the PDC World Championship ends this Sunday. Like those who love Christmas, there'll be an empty feeling for a while, but there’s always next year.
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Brazil: A thorn in Colombia's side

Damn Brazilians, at it again. Not satisfied with unceremoniously and controversially knocking Colombia out of this year's Fifa World Cup — aided by a Spanish referee it must be said — now they're ensuring their north-western neighbours endure a dreary and dull December.

Here comes the rain again ...

You see, the November rains that habitually inundate Colombia have been continuing well into this month. The source of these daily prolonged downpours? Why none other than Brazil, so the meteorologists tell us.

What more pain is the 'big bully' neighbour to the south-east going to inflict on us before the year is out?

OK, I have to admit that from a personal point of view, in one sense, these rains are kind of nice; watching them under the safety of cover that is. 

Dry, warm weather for the Christmas season is still something that doesn't fit right with me. Hence, it feels a little more correct, the grey days with some freshness — or cold as most locals feel it — about. (Do note, a typical Irish Christmas tends to be grey rather than white, weather-wise.)

Who knows, but we may even get a white Bogotá Christmas if the current conditions keep up. All we need is a hailstone deluge like we had a few weeks back to see to that.

All that aside and on a more sombre note, with all this extra water swashing about the place, it does make you wonder how there could be people dying because of a lack of it, and other associated life essentials, in this country. However, dying they are.

Of course, it's not a uniquely Colombian contrast this, it happens in other regions. Where it occurs, there are usually geographical, climatic and political issues at play. There is also the issue of a serious lack of public will to deal with it.

That comes down to the fact that death from a shortage of food and water is a slow process. It tends not to rouse the emotions in fellow human beings as much as dramatic natural or human disasters such as earthquakes or terrorist attacks.

Also, in developing and under-developed countries, there is the question of management — or lack thereof. Very often the means and resources are there to deal with the problem, but the structures needed are not.

You just need to look at Bogotá for an example of this. When the heavens do open here, the insufficiency of an adequate drainage system is glaring. For a city that regularly experiences severe downpours, this seems negligent. It’s like each time it happens it comes as a surprise.

Streets like rivers: Bogotá turns into Venice for a time ...

One mitigating factor, but again this highlights poor management and practices, is the rubbish problem in the city. Many drains are clogged because of this and thus rendered useless.

Indeed, it’s not only in Colombia’s more peripheral regions where a shortage of water can be a problem. With regular water service cuts in various barrios in the capital, you often have the scenario of ‘water, water everywhere, but none to drink.’

We can’t really blame the Brazilians for those latter issues. On the football field, though, there is always the chance of revenge at the 2015 Copa América. The weather might be better then, too.
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Simply having an indifferent (Colombian) Christmas time

This time of year is, of course, very family-orientated, especially for those from a Christian background. 

So the fact that we decided, yet again, to leave our clan with the Christmas period within earshot has left many here in our second home wondering why. And it hasn't just been the Colombians who have asked us this, but even fellow expats: 'Why didn't you wait until after the holiday season to return?'

Some of Bogotá's Christmas lights are pretty impressive.

It's not that we're anti-Christmas, far from it. Indeed, back home we really do enjoy the festive period and we always have. Even when we've had to work through some of it, as was the case in our most recent ones spent in Ireland, we've generally liked the whole atmosphere it generates.

Yet, this is perhaps the crux of the matter; Christmas for us is about home and everything that goes with it. 

Not being in the place where we spent 23 uninterrupted years merrily munching through turkey and ham dinners every 25 December (plus the very satisfying second, third and even fourth servings in the subsequent days) means we have a slight indifference towards it now that we're not there. 

Here in Bogotá, it just doesn't feel the same as we gear up for our third consecutive holiday season (we like to be politically correct every now and again) outside of the homeland.

In one sense it's a case of out of sight, out of mind. That is, while Colombia does obviously 'do Christmas', it's not the Western, winter version we know and love. 

(OK, credit is forthcoming for trying to replicate the winter scenes. Some of the lighting displays are impressive enough and accompanied by the odd relatively chilly night in Bogotá it can at times seem semi-Christmassy, but in the end, we just don't buy it. For starters, the daytime temperatures are just too mild.)

A large part of the Christmas ambience we like is the tried-and-trusted, cheesy as some may be, tunes; Fairytale of New York being one of our favourites (and, we hasten to add, it's far from cheesy).* 

Yes, Colombia has its Yuletide melodies, but again, as we haven't grown up with them, they just don't resonate; although this little radio advertisement for Café Aguila Roja, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egtQozVh50A, akin, perhaps, to the Irish clothing retailer Penneys' 'whole lot of things for Christmas' is beginning to grow on us (pickings are slim).** 

This year, we state without shame, we've found ourselves listening online to Ireland's Christmas FM just to get us in the mood – we even got ourselves a shout-out on it from across the waves.

So with all this, let's call it mild yearning for a traditional home Christmas in mind, why exactly didn't we stay? Well, we left just before the season got into full swing, so that helped. 

Plus, we had to balance any desire to remain with the fact that we had already spent longer in Ireland this year than we had envisaged, especially so when there were, and are, very few decent job opportunities around. 

We figured the money we'd spend during an Irish Christmas would easily pay, with a bit to spare, for flights back to Colombia, or anywhere for that matter.

Never mind a live crib, how about a live Bethlehem, Bogotá style?

Also, there is the case that we're perhaps being overly nostalgic, looking back on past Christmases a tad too fondly compared to what the reality was. For sure, it's better to have happy memories than sad ones. 

More significantly, though, some of those things that signalled Christmas to us have now gone and can't be replaced. 

This year we said goodbye to an uncle and good friend, somebody who was as much a part of our festive memories as those aforementioned turkey and ham dinners, the songs or, in our earliest years, Santa Claus.

Thus, as we all know, things are constantly changing, evolving – sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. With time we might come to embrace a Colombian Christmas. Or maybe we've just moved on from getting too engrossed in it, no matter where we are.

One positive thing about being indifferent is that we don't have to face those January blues; there's no big low if you don't have the high. Steady as she goes and all that.

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*Any excuse for a blast of Fairytale of New York: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8.

**Not exactly the Penneys ad version we're looking for but it gives an idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP9hgpj0za4.

Finally, and regardless of your thoughts of the shenanigans at this time of year, we'd like to wish everybody a happy and peaceful Christmas/Holiday Season!

Pimp my isle

We Irish have been, and are, called many things but ostentatious can never really be one of them. In comparison to our brethren across the pond (the bigger pond that is), we tend to be quite a reserved bunch; then again, who isn’t when viewed in such a light?

Halloween — less substance, more shabby style?

Even at the height of the Celtic Tiger when many people had more (borrowed) money than sense, we never really became too brash or cocky. 

Sure we may have built to excess but we tended to stick to the ‘less talk, more action’ mantra. Things were ‘grand’ (in Ireland that means an ordinary 'fine'); you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone use that flamboyant, quintessentially North American word ‘awesome’.

Perhaps much of this was due to the fact that deep down, even if we didn’t outwardly acknowledge it, we knew our newfound (borrowed) wealth wouldn’t last.

So now that the arse has well and truly fallen out of our ‘mighty little’ economic miracle, you would think being showy is the last thing on our minds – considering, that is, that we traditionally don’t do it, it just doesn’t sit well with us at all. Rather than things being awesome, they’re just awkward.

Yet, as the dust settles on our gluttonous years, one obvious legacy, very much in evidence over the Halloween period, is the desire for young families to pimp up their homes for various events and festivities. 

OK, one might have expected a scaling up in this regard when the country was awash with (borrowed – get it?) money, but there appears to be no sign of scaling back now that we’ve returned to our ‘normal’ financial state (hard-pressed that is).

Christmas decorating predates the boom years and it’s not something we’ve too many misgivings about, although its arrival seems to get earlier and earlier each year with an accompanying increase in the lavishness of these Yuletide manifestations.

It’s the relatively recent uptake of Halloween folderol that has us scratching our heads. 

We’ve always recognised the day, of course – in fact, it’s an Irish festival, its roots going back to pagan times on the island. But the odd costume and trick-or-treater aside, we were never too bothered about jazzing up our houses and streets with a host of Halloween paraphernalia – we left that to the Yanks, in much the same way we ‘let’ them outdo us with the St Patrick’s Day celebrations.

That all seems to have changed now. Decorations are a prerequisite these days – fake spiders’ webs are hung up (while at the same time frantically sweeping away real ones), figures of witches and skeletons put on display and pumpkins are ‘planted’ in every corner of the house.

Decommissioned. 

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with such practices – you could argue that they bring some lesser-spotted cheer to surroundings in these hard-pressed, almost gloomy times (the current state of play being far spookier than any contrived Halloween scare). 

However, when you’re preaching poverty to strait-laced neighbours who happen to be paying your way, being a bit flashy doesn’t send out the right signals, does it? 

It’s a bit like the struggling parents, who apparently never have money for anything, hiring a private photographer when it comes to their little Johnny’s or Mary’s Communion Day. Well come on, they couldn’t be expected to share the one laid on for the group or, whisper it, take their own amateur photos on such a momentous day.

Back to Halloween, how about returning to some of our more, um, traditional, simpler customs? 

The innocent days of kicking some old man’s hard-saved cabbage, launching fireworks and mild explosives at legitimate targets and subsequently getting chased by An Garda Síochána (the Irish police) appear lost in the past. Solid substance has been replaced by shallow style.

Come on guys, you know this showiness doesn’t suit us. It’s not always best practice to slavishly follow Mr and Mrs Jones.

Our alcohol problem

A couple of weeks ago we were moved to reply to a letter from a Mr T. Broderick in the sports section of Ireland’s Sunday Independent. First of all, here’s the offending letter:

What would Bishop Brennan make of all of this?

“I watched the All Ireland hurling final last weekend and three things have really bothered me since then.
1. Should pundits/commentators be discussing and commenting on gambling during such a game? Michael Duignan got very excited about Liam Sheedy having a great bet for the draw at 14/1.
2. Should Michael Lyster be posing questions regarding players drinking after matches? Was he implying that they could not survive without a drink for another three weeks? Why would he pose such a question?
3. Cyril Farrell's comment about the Clare team "jumping in the Shannon" if they had lost that game. Is hurling that important? Did the Galway minors consider jumping in the Corrib when they got back to Galway after their loss? These words although said in jest are very powerful and could be heard differently by people in difficult situations.
What subliminal messages are said comments sending out to people dealing with gambling or alcohol problems or contemplating suicide? This banter also normalises these behaviours for our teenagers. What are they thinking listening to these comments?
These are serious problems and I know that the above-mentioned commentators did not mean to cause offence but they have a greater responsibility than maybe they realise.
With 1.3 million watching this programme at some stage, surely we should expect a higher standard of broadcasting?
Keep the pub banter for off air in the future.”*

This got our blood up at the time of reading it, so we decided to respond. Our riposte, below, was published the following week:

Ireland's own.

“What a brittle, brainless bunch we Irish ‘commoners’ must be, if the words of Mr T. Broderick are to be taken seriously.
A jovial brief chat by some ‘Sunday Game’ (a programme that covers the Irish sports of hurling and Gaelic football) analysts about a spot of betting and downing a few pints and this means that we’re all going to gamble away our house (those of us that have one that is) down at the bookies while making our way to the nearest hostelry to get inebriated.
Heck, perhaps we should ban the announcement of stock market news on the airwaves in case it encourages us ‘dumb masses’ to get involved in that dirty business too.
A typical Irish attitude, blame somebody else for any ‘problems’ we may have.
The phrase ‘grow a pair’ springs to mind.
In any case, you need to have a long, hard look at yourself if you heed the word of those working with the state broadcaster.”*

No prizes, then, for guessing where we’re coming from on all this.

For now, we're just going to focus on the alcohol issue. Irish people’s relationship with it has been quite topical in recent days – to be honest, it’s something that’s never too far off the national debating agenda here. 

The reason, though, why it’s back on the front pages is to do with Arthur’s Day. To the uninitiated this now annual event (for the time being anyway) was first introduced in 2009 to celebrate 250 years of the alcoholic beverage Guinness, the brainchild of Arthur Guinness, being brewed in Dublin.

Many see it – and we tend to agree – as purely a marketing ploy by Diageo, the owners of Guinness, to promote the consumption of its leading brand. 

More stringent critics say it gives an easy excuse for people to ‘go on the lash’ where otherwise they may not have bothered; the fact it is always fixed for a Thursday, traditionally a big student night out in Ireland’s big towns and cities, underscores this ‘excuse’ point for many.

However, alongside encouraging people to raise a pint glass ‘to Arthur’, the day (or indeed days as it now is) incorporates a number of music events sponsored by the drinks company. 

So with the once well-celebrated Irish pub apparently in terminal decline, if these free or cost-price music shows entice a few extra people out, isn’t that a good thing?

Our coffee is blocked out by all the bottles in the front.

As we wrote about before in more detail in An Irish lament, it’s not like Irish people are drinking less with the decline of the pubs; if anything, as a nation we’re drinking more than ever. 

The difference now is that most of it is done at home, away from prying, perhaps judgemental, eyes. Yes, it might be cheaper but it doesn't mean it's any better.

The question the whole Arthur’s Day should-we-shouldn’t-we debate brings up is as a country are we not responsible enough and mature enough to have such events, whether you support them or not, without us getting ‘ossified’ (drunk that is)? 

If you do drink to excess, that’s your issue – don’t be looking for others to blame. Are we meant to ban every occasion we like to celebrate, public or private, just because some people might over-indulge in alcohol?

While the Arthur’s Day experiment may die a quick death (and we won’t shed a tear for it), many other more internationally recognised and celebrated festivals such as St Patrick’s Day and Christmas won’t be going anywhere soon. Many Irish and a host of other nationalities will drink perhaps a little bit too much in marking these and other such events.

Go ahead we say, just don’t shirk the personal responsibility you have for your own actions. 

It’s something we’re slowly trying to learn. Without, that is, blaming the media or some marketing event for any drunken escapades we might get up to.
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*Both letters can be found in digital form on independent.ie. The first is here http://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/have-your-say-29580333.html, while our reply is midway down this: http://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/have-your-say-29596689.html.

For a previous article on a similar theme of being responsible for our own actions, see Survival of the dumbest http://bit.ly/NNg2E8.

Survival of the dumbest

You may have seen the following Christmas message doing the rounds on e-mail. It’s lengthy, but it needs to be considering what it’s trying to achieve. Anyway, here it is, in its unedited glory: 

'Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practised within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all. 

Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, colour, religious or sexual preferences of the wishes.

 

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself (sic) or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)'

Careful now!

Ah yes, the politically correct Christmas, oh I mean holiday, message. Just another one of the many examples we have of society gone politically correct mad. And, in the Western world, it feels like we’re just at the beginning of this craze – much worse is to come, you fear.

The Australian comedian Steve Hughes does a great job of highlighting how ridiculous this whole ‘must not offend anyone, anywhere’ culture has become.

Bringing us back to our primary school days in one of his sketches, he reminds us of the old tried-and-trusted rhyme of ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’. You know the one - blasted out with confidence when verbally assaulted by the school-yard bully. How teak-tough, mentally if not physically, we were back then.

We wouldn’t let a few hurtful remarks uttered by some ape offend us. We could rise above it. And even if we were offended, so what? Nothing happens. Just don’t dwell on it. 

Sadly, though, this is not the case anymore. Somewhere along the line in our advance towards maturity, we started letting a few words or actions upset us, really upset us. But not only do we take offence; we harbour it and expect retribution to be had on the offender.

And so it should be, you might say. We can’t have a world where offensive, hurtful remarks are flying about the place unrestrained, right? But think about the opposite scenario. A situation where everything that one says and does is carefully choreographed so as not to upset anyone, anywhere. 

From this remove, it appears that the drift towards total political correctness is a slide to a more dishonest, untruthful society. Is it not better to know somebody’s true feelings on a topic than to be given a more ‘accepted’ public version while the reality couldn’t be more different?

Adding to this, without getting too political here, most Western democracies, the United States excepted, tend to overcompensate to the left in the quest for a discrimination-free society. Much of the reason for this is because of the horrible legacy of the extreme right in these parts of the world – we won’t go into that here. 

The result, though, of all this is that we get a very slanted take on things through the media, politics and other public bodies that doesn’t always reflect reality.

Here’s a very benign example of how crazy things are becoming. 

In a previous radio job, I used to have a weekly slot with a PR man from a well-known bookmaker firm in Ireland. We’d talk about upcoming sporting events, the likely winners, where you’d find the best betting value and all that kind of innocent stuff. I say innocent because that’s what you’d think, right? Wrong. 

After a few weeks of doing this, the powers that be at the station brought it to my attention that I was in ‘very dangerous’ territory talking about the odds of certain teams/horses. 

Why? Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? This would encourage gambling, break up heretofore happy families and cause general mayhem on the streets. No word of a lie — well, maybe the bit about chaos on the streets, but you get the sentiment! That’s how ridiculous things are becoming.

You see there’s a school of thought out there — which fits in with the nanny state ethos — that the ordinary man (or woman, just in case anyone takes offence) is incapable of independent thought and accepts as truth everything he/she sees or hears. 

I don’t know about you, but I find that very condescending. Shock, horror, we do have our own minds and we can make our own decisions. 

Sure, we can be influenced by things in both good and bad ways. That’s life, it’s inevitable. 

From the moment you are born, you are influenced by things — the people around you, your environment, the weather. It’s a natural process of being alive. So, what we all knew anyway, we’re all under the ‘

influence – some more so than others.

Hand in hand with the politically correct madness goes — I’m sure you’ll agree — the ridiculously bureaucratic health and safety laws. 

We have a culprit here, ‘compo culture’ or ‘claims culture’ if you will. If you play the system you can get a nice little windfall after suffering at the hands of your own stupidity. 

Now, I don’t want to offend anyone, but if you injure yourself after falling down a hole in a place where you shouldn’t have been, well tough break. It’ll teach you not to go there again. But oh no, now everybody has to be responsible and plan ‘appropriately’ for the idiocy of others.

This goes against millions of years of evolution – survival of the fittest and all that. Now we are all being asked to dumb down. 

Not that you need proof of this, but for amusement, here goes. The following was spotted recently on a sign: ‘Caution – This sign has sharp edges. Do not touch the edges of this sign.’ No further questions, your Honour.

Unfortunately, considering the state of the global economy, you wouldn’t hold out much hope for our political leaders steering us clear of what seems an inevitable slide to a ‘post-common sense’ society. So it looks like it’s going to be left to us, on the ground, to stem the tide of madness.

On that note, considering it’s the time of year we celebrate virgins giving birth, I’ll leave you with the following: 

‘A middle-aged man and woman fall in love and decide to get married. On their wedding night, they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, "Please be gentle... I am still a virgin." The startled groom says "How can that be? You've been married twice..." 

'The bride responds... "Well you see it was this way: My first husband, he was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex. Catching her breath, she says "My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was... ... ... ... Oh God, I miss him!"'

Happy Christmas!