'Your Irish blood's not wanted here'

Rejection is never easy to accept. Nonetheless, like most things in life, the more we experience it, the better we are at dealing with it.

Both personally and professionally I've had my fair share of rejection. I won't say that I'm now indifferent and immune to it to the point where I have a reckless attitude towards everything.

'Sorry, but we can't take your blood.' 'But you took it in 2014!'

Indeed, even for those who seem "done" with life, who appear to care about nothing, a lot of the time this is just masking disappointments and, perhaps, bitterness and envy.

I haven't quite given up just yet.

'Don't have a cow, man!'

That being said, when the rejection attacks the very fibre of your being, literally the blood running through your veins, a fundamental component that keeps you in the game of life, this is particularly hard to take.

Throw in the fact that you were only trying to be helpful, expecting absolutely nothing in return from the recipient(s) of your altruistic deed, and it really only brings about that "why bother?" state of mind.

You see, I've been told my blood, my rare enough B-negative blood, is not wanted here in Colombia.

Apparently, it's to do with the fact that I'm from a mad cow disease country. I know, 'You said what now?'

'What has changed between now and 2014 to make my blood unwanted?'

I got wind of this last year when I tried to donate on my then employer's health day. At the time I thought it was just that particular blood bank. After all, in 2014 I gave blood in Bogotá, no questions asked — well, bar the obligatory ones you get asked before being needled up ('Do you practice safe sex?' 'If by safe you mean abstinence, yes.').

So the other week I tried again. 'No señor. It ain't happening.'

What's changed between 2014 and now to render my blood unsuitable for Colombians? To my knowledge, there haven't been incidents of mad cow disease in Ireland for years. If anything, things were riskier a few years back.

I take it that in the intervening period they've discovered some incompatibility. No one has been able to give me a clear answer thus far.

Needless to say, I'm no haematologist but I would have thought a simple test could be carried out to see if my blood is OK for donating. We can only assume this isn't possible.

A blood sport

Now, I won't lose sleep over the possibility of never donating blood again in my life — you could say I'm quite sanguine about the situation — but there is a part of me that wants to do it, at least once more.

One reason for this is that the first and only time I did it, in 2014, wasn't — it shames me somewhat to admit — for altruistic reasons only. No, I wanted to find out what my blood type was.

I had no idea and earlier that year I, um, took a stab at what it was in order to get my first ever Colombian ID, cédula extranjería, issued (a requirement once a work visa is approved). I think I said I was 'O positive' and signed a document to that effect. True to form, 'Wrong Way' was wrong with that one.

So now I want to give blood for the sole reason that I might help save somebody's life.

A blood-bank employee did tell me that I'd be able to donate here if I hadn't returned to a mad cow disease country for something like three years or more. For the record, I was last in Ireland in September 2018.

Considering I tend to go back home every two years or so, it looks like I won't be giving blood in Colombia any time soon, if ever again.

I guess I'll just have to wait to do it next time I'm back in Europe. Here's hoping I don't faint as I almost did on the first occasion — I'm a bit queasy when it comes to these things.

Maybe, though, like rejection, I'll get better at dealing with it the more I experience it. The risk is, however, I become so thick-skinned that no one will get any blood out of me ever again.
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Location, location, location

In a recent episode of The Colombia Cast podcast, the eminent economist and political scientist James Robinson, co-author of the influential Why Nations Fail, restated his view that geography plays no part in the economic development of countries.

Location matters. (Image from Wikipedia.)

Looking at it from an Americas perspective from the time Europeans arrived on these shores, that Canada and the US are more advanced than their counterparts further south has a lot to do with pure chance initially, later followed by the systems of governance introduced.

Easy pickings

Basically, the Spanish found fairly advanced civilisations settled in areas rich in natural resources that could be relatively easily exploited for the homeland. The British, in contrast, had to deal with largely nomadic tribes inhabiting rather harsh conditions. 

One, oversimplified way to put it is that the Spanish found streets paved with gold to loot while the concept of a street didn't even exist where the British settlers landed.

'Climate certainly played a part.'

Had the roles been reversed would the state of what we now call Latin America be much better today? Would the US be the power it is? The answer to the latter question is probably not, based on how the Spanish Empire ran its affairs. 

As for the Brits in Latin America, well their own record in lands where a quick buck could be made is far from exemplary. Jamaica's not exactly a powerhouse now, is it?

In this regard, while geography per se wasn't the factor, one could say climate played an important part.

In terms of Jamaica and other Caribbean islands, it was their ability to produce an abundance of cheap sugar for the European market that made them ripe (pun intended) for exploitation. Thus, their location in the tropics was critical.

We must also consider the idea that the need to plan and prepare according to the seasons in regions where a harsh winter would see off those found wanting played some role in ingraining a more organised disposition in those living further north.

Speaking of those northern reaches, had Ireland not been located next to the greatest old-school empire the world has ever known (today's big boys, the US and China, are perhaps best measured in different terms) there's little doubt it would look much different today.

Nothing without EU

Of course, there are many interconnected factors that shape countries and regions. In Ireland's case, had it converted to Protestantism — or had Britain remained Catholic — the last few centuries would surely have been far less troublesome than they were.

'Ireland was a pedagogical powerhouse.'

While British interference in Irish affairs was a fact before the religious divide, it became fundamental for security for the emerging empire to control — at pretty much whatever cost — the untrustworthy neighbour to the west. (Do note that in the early days of Christianity in Europe, Ireland was known as the island of saints and scholars, a sort of godly, pedagogical powerhouse we could say. Subjugation by the British changed all that.)

Fast forward a few hundred years and, as I've written about before, a partially independent Ireland's proximity to mainland Europe, not to mention membership of the European Union, has been crucial in its economic development.

Imagine if Ireland, everything else being equal, had been an island just off Africa. How would it look economically and politically today? One just needs to take a glance at the countries in the Dark Continent post-colonisation to get an idea.

Weighing all this up, while there are many reasons why nations 'fail', your neighbours can play a significant part. Location does matter, at least in those vital formative years.
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Saving ourselves (planet Earth is fine)

These seem to be especially frightening times we're living in. One could be forgiven for thinking things have an end-of-days feel to them.

The end of the world as we know it?

The global political picture seems as divided as ever. Well, you could argue it's similar to Europe in the 1930s, so we've been here before, with people finding comfort in the darker corners of the Left and Right, depending on how the Facebook algorithms roll for you.

Therein, of course, lies one major difference: Europe in the 1930s didn't have the internet and its "social" media to contend with (it did have a good dollop of censorship all the same).

Whatever the case, there's nothing really novel about the political — and economic — situation of any period troubling the masses. It would nearly freak us out more if this wasn't so.

Doomed

What appears to be setting these worrying times apart from previous eras are the natural disasters looming that look set to seriously alter the way we currently live — and where we live, too. (At 2,600 metres above sea level, Bogotá's inhabitants should be safe enough from rising sea levels a fair bit longer than most other major population centres around the world.)

'The optimistic view is that we can still turn things around.'

As the almost weekly scientific reports from respected quarters tell us, if we don't change our ways now, that is to say use green energy sources as opposed to those that contribute to global warming, catastrophe awaits.

That's the optimistic view: Time is still on our side, it remains in our hands, just about, to avert the worst-case scenario.

A lot of the language used in this battle for survival is about 'saving the planet'.

Solid Earth

Yet, as the late, great (most of the time, anyway) US comedian George Carlin pointed out years back, the planet doesn't need much saving. 

Barring some unprecedented meteorite attack, a calamity with our sun, things of that magnitude, the future of Earth looks pretty solid for the next few million years.

OK, we can only go on past form, but as advanced as we humans like to think we are, it's unlikely that it will be our dirty work that spells the end for the planet.

The most likely scenario, think dinosaurs here, is that the planet will continue on well after the last human on it breathes his/her (or whatever other gender is out there now) last.

'If we're going down, we're taking a host of others with us.'

What we sophisticated humans are indisputably doing, and here I differ from Carlin, is making sure that as we go down, we're taking a host of other species with us. And we're doing a pretty good job at that.

As Carlin put it, for the planet we're probably like fleas. An irritant, no more, no less. Now if the planet had its own way, it would most likely just get rid of us and keep the majority of other living things (yes, even those dastardly mosquitoes).

But can we change our ways?

However, as the host doesn't directly interfere in how its parasites go about their business, bar the occasional earthquake, volcanic eruption and the like, our actions ensure — and have ensured — other, more low-maintenance users of the globe cease to exist.

So, rather than thinking of 'saving the planet', we should be thinking of 'saving ourselves', collectively that is.

Yet, it's the self-centred nature of many of us that will put paid to that. Forget the utilitarian 'greater good for the greater number' school of thought. We seem happier with 'the greater destruction for the greater number.' 'Heck, if we're doomed anyway we might as well live to the max rather than inconveniencing ourselves fighting a lost cause.'

Oh well, it's one, whisper it "final solution" to our money and political woes.
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Zika-dee-doo-dah

A quick glance through the Colombian newspapers (Bogotá-centred ones, anyway) or sitting down to watch the main TV news here and it's unlikely you'll read or hear much, if anything, about Zika. 

Indeed, most Bogotá residents have probably forgotten what it is. (In case you need reminding, it's that mosquito-spread virus which can be particularly dangerous, it is believed, if contracted by pregnant women as it can lead to severe brain malformations in the foetus and other birth defects. Such complications, though, may not be as bad as first feared, going by the findings of a recent study.)

Sure it could be worse ... (Image from Facebook.)

After being in the headlines constantly at the end of December last year and early this year, it pretty much seems to have gone off the radar for Colombian media — save for that new, slightly more positive report, linked above, questioning Zika's adverse effects on the foetuses of late-term pregnancies.

From a personal (and male) point of view, the furore it had created, and seemingly still creates in many Western countries, had been and is a little over the top. 

For most relatively healthy human beings, those who aren't pregnant anyway, being struck down with Zika isn't a major deal. The symptoms are pretty mild by all accounts. There would appear to exist far worse infections for us to be concerned about.

Of course, that it hasn't been a topic of conversation or cause for worry in Bogotá isn't at all surprising. This is because the mosquitoes that transmit the disease aren't found in these parts due to the city's lofty altitude. 

Granted, you only need to travel a short distance outside Bogotá or go to most of Colombia's other major cities and towns to come into 'Zika range', something that a good number of the capital's residents do on a regular basis. (Alas, that hasn't been my case this year, but that has nothing to do with Zika fears; a trip outside the metropolis is badly needed.) 

Nonetheless, the pandemic isn't causing consternation among the masses. (For the record, as of April this year, there were 65,726 cases of Zika reported in Colombia.)

In fact, were it not for a phone call from a concerned older cousin in Europe who is considering visiting Colombia, Zika wouldn't have entered my mind. Apparently, all the advice he's getting is to be very careful if he visits here due to the disease. 

Again, it's fair to say there are greater worries — be they from man, beast or insect — than Zika for anybody coming to Central or South America.

Now, maybe there's a bit of that renowned laid-back Latino attitude at play in all of this. Perhaps all of us living here should be a little more concerned about Zika, especially so those planning to have children due to that fetal abnormality issue.

Yet, from the safe heights of Bogotá it's a case of, 'out of sight, out of mind'. No point worrying about something that can't get to you, really. Now as for Colombia's dragged-out peace process, that's another story.
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The art of darts

The online edition of the Oxford English Dictionary defines sport as 'an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment'.

The home theatre for the last couple of weeks.

The amount of 'physical exertion' required to make something a sport isn't specified and, ergo, it's open to debate as to what classifies as one and what doesn't.

For many, darts does not fall into the sport category. 

This is the game — the chief version of it anyway —  where you throw metal arrows (darts) at a circular board numbered randomly from one to 20 with double and treble segments on each number, and a red 'bull' at its centre worth 50, surrounded by a narrow green ring valued 25.

In general, the main place you'll find people playing this, outside of the trade's professionals, is in a pub — that is to say in an alcohol-selling, (usually) laid-back venue.

So to describe it as a sport just doesn't sit well with many people's perceptions of such. 

For one, when most think of sport and those who practice it, they imagine well-ripped bodies, a picture-book image of ultimate fitness. Darts' leading lights don't exactly, erm, fit that description.

Yet, to come back to the dictionary definition, darts is certainly something that requires skill. 

Yes, anyone can throw a metal arrow at a board, in the same way that anyone can kick a football. But to throw it with accuracy and consistency over a period of time in a contest is something completely different. It is the quintessential game of millimetres. 

In terms of physical exertion, well there is a continuous throwing action required and you don't exactly get the chance to sit down and relax.

However you view it, the game/sport and the whole show around it appears to have grown significantly in popularity and exposure, as well as prize money for the players, in northern Europe — Britain, Ireland and the Netherlands especially — over the last decade or so.

Tejo — Colombia's 'darts' ...

That 'show' element has been crucial. A night out watching the globe's top darts players — something I've had the pleasure to do twice — is great craic (fun) as we say in Ireland. 

What's more, even with limited knowledge of the game, not that it's that hard to comprehend, it generally makes for compulsive viewing on TV. Real-life drama, as we've had on numerous occasions at the PDC World Championship over the last few days. (For the record, there are two rival world governing bodies, the other being the BDO, both of which host world championships.)

OK, I'm writing as one of the converted and once I understand any sport I tend to appreciate it, even if I don't play it. (However, I must state that I did win a darts doubles tournament in my local pub in Ireland years back; it was more thanks to my playing partner but a win's a win!)

It's why that over this Christmas period, although I'm thousands of miles away from the action, in a country where darts doesn't register a beat — though Colombia does have versions in tejo and bolirana, minus the professional organisation/glamour — I've been like a hermit, in a positive way methinks, streaming the world championship action in my apartment.

Some sort of normality, whatever that is, will resume when the PDC World Championship ends this Sunday. Like those who love Christmas, there'll be an empty feeling for a while, but there’s always next year.
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Romantic Ireland, rising from the grave

It took a while but, William Butler Yeats, you're going to have to eat your penned words now (or whatever you'll do with them from beyond your grave).

 

Indeed! (Image from Facebook.)

Romantic Ireland isn't dead, as you infamously wrote in your poem September 1913. It has just been in a some way self-induced, other ways imposed, coma. But it might be just about to rise from the flames.

It's not a rebirth, just a reawakening. One, though, that might see the people of the old island of saints and scholars — a land that enlightened a darkened Europe back in the day — rediscover their greatness as movers and shakers; find their daring again.

In fairness, we never really lost it. It's just that due to our self-deprecating nature, we've talked ourselves out of it over the years, even when the facts have shown differently. 

We've let others make us the butt of jokes with relative tranquillity; perhaps a natural reaction when you're surrounded by arrogance (well, arrogance to the east, west and south at least).

You see, as Irish people have done before, they've shown themselves to be leaders rather than followers, this time becoming the first country in the world where the electorate, by way of a referendum, has endorsed gay marriage.

Basically, they're allowing official recognition of, and offering parity of esteem to, a practice that has practically been around since time immemorial. For some reason, it just rested uncomfortably on a male-dominated church whose word had been sacrosanct for many Irish (and others) for years. Um, why so?

Of course, this isn't really going to change the world and, contrary to what some may think, it isn't going to end it either. 

There are far greater things that we should be trying to solve and resolve that will put an end to us sooner rather than later if we don’t. Yet, what this does show, is that as a human race, we get our knickers (or Y-fronts if you will) in a twist over rather trivial issues.

'Don't sweat the small stuff' as they say. But we tend to create problems where none need exist. For that, we're all a long, long way from having 'a gay old time'.

United Kingdom, divided Europe

Well, that was pretty clear cut. Not only did the British Conservative Party get re-elected, but it did so in rather impressive fashion, securing an overall majority in the House of Commons. There's no need for a messy coalition with those annoying Liberal Democrats, something the Tories had to endure for the last term.

The UK: Breaking the EU circle? (Image from eucentre.sg/.)

No, this time the party led by David Cameron can govern as it sees fit – well, as much as it can inside the realms of a constitutional monarchy and a parliamentary system of governance. 

You can't argue too much against the mandate that Cameron and co have received (unless you're from Scotland, where the Scottish National Party secured 56 of the 59 seats up for grabs there).

In one sense, you could argue, the result changes little. The Conservatives are back in, just this time with a little more force. Yet, what's to come could have much greater significance, especially in terms of the UK's political and trade relations with its European neighbours.

This is because of the referendum that will be put – unless the Tories do a dramatic, unexpected U-turn – to its electorate over the country's future in the European Union. 

And if Cameron sticks to his word, the question will be straightforward, along the lines of: 'Should the UK remain part of the EU; yes or no?' The implications of a 'no' win, however, may not be so straightforward.

Of course, that Britain has been more of a Europhobe than Europhile since joining what was then the European Economic Community in 1973 won't come as a surprise to most. 

The legacy of having one of the greatest empires the world has ever seen doesn't go away quickly or quietly. Compromising with former enemies such as France and Germany has never gone down well with the British psyche.

Its decision not to join the euro, while not unique among EU-member states, served to further the belief on the European mainland that the UK was and is just paying lip service to the idea of greater integration of the 'Old Continent'. (That staying out of the European Monetary Union was probably a wise move considering the current state of play is something we won't fully go into right now.)

So with the traditionally Euroscpetic Conservatives in power, the wind in the party's sails thanks to securing an overall majority and with the much-talked-about referendum upcoming, that the UK may finally cut its official ties with Brussels seems almost inevitable.

This could be the opportunity to make 'Great Britain greater', as David Cameron vowed in his victory speech. In any case, a clear decision about British EU membership, one way or the other, could be just what both sides need.

Cameron cool: Is this the man to lead the UK out of Europe? (Photo from FB.)

A strong 'no' win and the UK can leave behind what at times has been a turbulent political union with its European counterparts and go about creating new alliances and arrangements. 

Sure, things could be awkward for a while as the country re-finds its feet, but it need not be disastrous. Britain only needs to take a glance north to Norway for a template on how a life outside the EU works.

On the other hand, a 'yes' victory, akin, and perhaps ironically so, to Scotland's rejection of independence from the UK last year (Cameron, after all, has work to do to keep his own union together), would (or at least should) mean a shot in the arm for a flailing EU project. The odd couple, the United Kingdom and the European Union, agreeing to give it another go, for old times' sake.

In the backdrop to all this is next year's 100th-anniversary commemoration of the bloodiest confrontation of World War One, the Battle of the Somme. And while Britain emerged victorious from that war, in many ways it marked the beginning of the end of the Empire, as new forces to the east and west began to crank up their vast influence and power.

Is Britain now, however, set to emerge from what could be described as, to borrow from a book title of Colombia's late, great writer Gabriel García Márquez, its own '100 Years of Solitude'?

That might be overstating things, but at the very least the lead-up to the referendum and the fallout from it, whichever way it goes, should cause a bit of giddy excitement in Europe and beyond.

Love fool

The default mode for most Irishmen has traditionally been to show a cold, hard exterior, especially in matters of the heart. Or more specifically, issues surrounding romance.

Things are a little hazy right now.

It’s generally something we’ve subscribed to over the years. 

Now this is not to say that we suppress emotions – not a healthy thing to do that, obviously. No, we just tend to deal with them internally. A '‘tis our business and ours only' kind of approach; and the majority of time we feel this is not a bad way to go. Heck, we’ve made it this far, just about.

However, considering we’re in a place that’s a bit more, let’s say, "emotionally liberal", we’re going to deal with some personal romantic issues here.

You could perhaps blame this softened approach on the Colombian air we’re once again breathing – well, that and the local chicas, or ladies if you will. 

That withstanding, this could be seen as an advisory tale and we always like to help where we can; we’re just not sure what the advice actually is.

As regular readers will be aware (cue long, awkward silence), we were back in the homeland between August and early November this year. A family wedding drew us back while visa issues coupled with doubts as to our next move kept us there a bit longer than we had initially expected; well, that and Mammy’s cooking, of course.

Before we left, we had met a girl here in Bogotá who seemed to tick a lot of the right boxes for us. Indeed, we thought she was so cool that we were happy not to let her Santander background bias our thoughts; we like to live dangerously from time to time.*

While we seemed to be getting on well, we were never anything other than casual partners; the fact that our departure date for Ireland was looming together with uncertainty as to whether we would be returning to Colombia or not played a big part in this.

So when we did leave, it was a case of let’s see what happens. We did keep in regular, practically daily contact via Facebook and the occasional Skype call. Thus, we stayed on each other’s radar in a sense.

A quite significant spanner was thrown into the works at the end of September when our friend (we’ll call her Colombiana from here on) told us she had met someone else. On further examination, Colombiana told us that it wasn’t that serious, and we continued to stay in friendly contact.

Once we finally sorted out our next move, that being the default option of a return to Bogotá, we were quick to let Colombiana know our news. 

This was greeted with the extremely generous offer of picking us up from the airport (we’d never had anyone specifically come to a South American airport to collect us) along with the suggestion that we stay at her apartment for the first few days. Nice.

This left us under the impression that perhaps we could pick things up from where we had left them in August, maybe bring them a bit further.

However, we were left in the dark, until we arrived, about one rather important piece of information. Namely that the relationship with the guy Colombiana had met in September, who for the record is Spanish and not Colombian, had now advanced into a more serious stage. 

Well, put it this way, when a man decides he’s going to divorce his wife on the strength of meeting another woman, it does take on an element of seriousness, right?

Cheryl — worth fighting for? Probably.

Now, contrast that bold statement of intent with our heretofore laissez-faire attitude and you can, perhaps, understand why Colombiana went for the, what might be seen as, "steadier" option (we’ll put the divorce issue to one side for now – sure marriage these days isn’t what it used to be).

Needless to say our presence in her apartment for those first few days on our return – as generous as the offer was – wasn’t the most comfortable. Although, it must be pointed out that we’re still very much on friendly terms and we have met up since finding alternative accommodation.

So where does this leave us? Any serious analysis can’t ignore the fact that we were quite relaxed about our relationship before leaving. Or at least we thought we were; a first hearing of Passenger’s Let her go song on the flight back to Europe did resonate and left us pondering things somewhat.**

There is, though, the argument that we’re just lusting more for Colombiana now for the simple fact that she’s currently out of reach, in a romantic sense anyway. Verifying that, given the current circumstances, is not easy however.

There are generally two schools of thought as to what to do. Follow the Cheryl Cole (or should that be Tweedy once again?) lead and ‘fight for this love, for if it’s worth having it’s worth fighting for’.** Or we go with our tried, but not altogether trusted, laissez-faire attitude – whatever will be, will be.

The phrase ‘time will tell’ lets you know, perhaps, which one we’re leaning towards. 

Right, we’ve said enough. We’re reverting to type now and putting those emotions firmly back on the inside.
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*For a, um, light-hearted look at Colombian women's personality traits broken down by regions, see Colombia's locas http://bit.ly/XzHltA.

**You can check out Let Her Go by Passenger here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA; and for Cheryl Cole's Fight For This Love see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umc87T5UMs.

The 'extranjero-files' — that is, not a xenophobe

Right, we’re admitting defeat. Or, to put it more correctly perhaps, we’re changing our angle of attack. It’s all to do with the word gringo and our sometimes laborious attempts to ‘correct’ numerous Colombians and other Latinos who refer to us as such. 

You see, for us the word has always referred to English speaking North Americans only (which we obviously are not) and, to be honest, most locals in these parts go along with that.

A bunch of foreigners.

However, at first glance some people here automatically think we’re from the US and hence call us gringo. We generally get a little uptight and politely tell them that we’re not gringos but Irish, so the word ‘extranjero’ (foreigner) is a more accurate label. 

Yet, the ‘g-word’ is theirs (Latinos) and some do use it to describe any foreigner. So in fairness, they can apply it as they see fit.

In terms of accuracy, though, and to avoid, heaven forbid, being mistaken as a Yank, if we are called a gringo in the future we will respond by saying that if you’re using it in its broader all-foreigners sense, fine, but if not, then we must clarify.

Then, of course, many of the people here who do call us gringo or extranjero or whatever are not that far removed from the Old Continent; that's Europe if you will, or more specifically Spain. 

So perhaps the only people here who have a real right to call us any of the above are the true indigenous – they could also call many of the Latinos they now share this land with the same.

In any case, they are just words, so should we really give them as much thought as we’re doing right now? 

Heck, Colombia is a country where the inhabitants regularly call their friends ‘gay’ (marica that is; for more on that see http://bit.ly/18eEfhd) and have no problem referring directly to people by their distinctive features: ‘gordo/gorda’ for a fat person; ‘negro’ for blacks; ‘mono’ for fair haired/skinned people and suchlike.

Supporting minorities.

As a Dutch friend mused, because of many other, real life-or-death problems this country has recently faced (and still does), what might be seen as offensive/racist words in some other places cause little fuss here (for more on not getting too worked up about words, read http://bit.ly/NNg2E8).

What is important in the above, though – and is the case the world over – is how those words are delivered and the actions that thus follow. 

That is to say, is there real meaning to what is uttered? Are they just throwaway, jovial remarks or is there more of, in the case of referring to people’s skin colour and the like, a racist element to it?

It will come as no surprise that we’ve witnessed racism here – you’ll find it in every corner of the globe. Very often it’s directed at the Afro-Colombians and/or the indigenous. That is, those on the peripheries, not generally part of the ruling class. They don’t quite fit in. 

Of course, for different reasons, you’ll also find some anti-US sentiment here which could be considered racist too – even though, politically speaking, Colombia is the most pro-US country in South America.

What might be seen as ironic is that many Latinos, when they depart for the Western world, will encounter discrimination, suspicion and racism aimed at them for no real logical reasons other than that they’re different.* Yet, surrounded in the comfort blanket of their own, they do the same to the minorities in their midst.

At the end of it all, this is our lot ...

This, of course, is a global phenomenon, far from restricted to this region. 

Many Irish see no problem hurling, at the very least, generalisations at immigrants who seek refuge on the island – a practice that often influences government policy – while at the same time expect right of passage wherever they go in the world. 

OK, some will argue this isn’t a racist tendency and more to do with protecting a small, bungling economy but that’s not always the case.

You see at certain times and in certain contexts, we can all be part of the minority, the outsider. We found it interesting to read in a newspaper in Malaysia that they referred to the West as the ‘minority world’ – the ‘haves’ versus the ‘have nots’ that is.

It can be a good practice to think outside your group – try to place yourself with the outcasts from time to time. 

We all have prejudices – it’s part of being human. The trick is trying not to let them unduly and irrationally influence us; easier written than done, of course.

As the saying goes, ‘before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes.’ And if you’re lucky, they might be the right fit.

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*Things may be changing on this front. Check out Latinos on the rise http://bit.ly/1784NCY for more on that.

You may also want to check out Phantom freedom at http://bit.ly/SOQUl0.

The Republic of Jealousy

If there’s one emotion we’ve come to tame, for the most part anyway, it’s jealousy. Feeling envious of or resenting people because of their status, job, love-life or whatever is something we’ve realised doesn’t get you anywhere. 

Yes, there are times we might look at others and think things are going better for them in certain contexts compared to us, but we tend not to let it occupy our minds for too long. To do so would be a waste of good energy.

The problems start in the mind.

However, in those very brief moments of envy, we get a feeling of what it must be like to live with jealousy practically all the time. And it is certainly not a nice place to be, mentally speaking.

Yet, from our own experiences and those of many we’ve talked to – both locals and foreigners, men and women – this appears to be a state of mind that a significant number of Colombian women live with on a constant basis (it may exist on the men’s side, but it’s something we don’t notice as much).

Many will accuse us of wild generalising about this. So we must say that, of course, it’s not all Colombian women who have these traits but there certainly does seem to be a higher level of it here compared to other places we know. 

Yes, perhaps we’re just noticing such jealousy more in these parts than other countries, but when so many people refer to its routine existence, there must be some ring of truth to it.

Now, if this is an emotion that doesn’t usually affect you, it can be difficult to comprehend why people have such feelings. 

Those who do strongly sense it, though, are, from experience, next to impossible to reason with.* No matter what you say to them or hard evidence you provide to contradict their perceptions matters little. Best practice is to just wait for the emotional storm to blow over and make the most of the rare periods of calm.

The type of jealousy we’re specifically referring to is in a relationship/romance context. Indeed, as a good Dutch friend here puts it – one who knows all about this as much as anyone – it’s not just jealousy. It comes in a package deal along with mistrust and insecurity. All three are intrinsically linked.

Happy couple (and 'Wrong Way').

To give an example, one of our best Colombian female friends, a married woman in her late 20s – somebody we would rate as level-headed and easy-going – openly told us that she doesn’t trust her husband.**  

Why? Well, her other-half works in the medical profession and one day she picked up his phone by accident to read a thank-you message from a female relation of a patient he had helped. 

A nice gesture we thought, but this was enough to send the affair alarm bells ringing for our friend. An emotional confrontation with her husband followed.

When you’re a doctor who often may have to work long hours, we can only imagine what kind of heat you get and explaining you have to do when you arrive home late to your loved one.

Here’s another over-the-top reaction told to us by an expat who brought his Colombian girlfriend back to Europe for a family wedding. At the reception, a long-standing family friend, an older lady, came over to talk to our buddy. A ‘it’s been ages since I’ve seen you’ kind of chat, normal stuff that happens at weddings. 

The fact, though, that our friend's girlfriend wasn’t centre of attention and "her man" was talking to another lady was enough to send the Colombian mildly hysterical. ‘How dare he speak to another woman at a family wedding?’

We could go on with similar anecdotes, but we risk putting our own sanity – and yours – in jeopardy.

When you come from a culture where such extreme mistrust/jealousy/insecurity doesn’t really exist, this kind of behaviour can be mind-blowing. We must state, however, that the old saying that there’s no smoke without fire does come into play among Colombians in this regard (see http://bit.ly/13VtSAZ for more).

The important question here is which comes first, the unfaithfulness or the jealousy? You see it’s a vicious circle. 

There are plenty of infidelity examples and stories going about the place that only serve to raise suspicions for Colombian women at the slightest sign of potential wrongdoing – way off the mark as they may be – from their partner. 

So the interrogation begins, which very quickly can turn into wild accusations and, yes, physical abuse. The kitchen sink and its implements are, in many cases quite literally, hurled at the accused.

There's always Ted.

Thus, with very little breathing space and a frosty environment, a natural reaction for many men is to look for a break somewhere else. Some can find that by simply downing a few beers with the lads more often than previously. 

In this land of plenty, though, when it comes to exceptionally looking women, it can be very hard to resist the overtures of a nice, friendly lady when your existing relationship has turned into an entrenched battle where you’re always under the cosh.

With that, the usually imaginary smoke that your partner initially smelt and saw becomes real and is given a source. A quintessential self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, you see there are well-being reasons why we haven’t been too bothered to fully commit to a relationship here yet.

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*There are a few posts to choose from here, but a good place to start is 'Colombia's locas'.

**We don't need to explain that trust should be an essential part of any friendship or relationship. For more on that theme see 'Forever friends'.

ESSENTIAL VIEWING! For some Colombian agreement with this post, check out this short, humorous YouTube video (in Spanish, although it's pretty easy to follow without knowing the language): http://bit.ly/Y5cEL3.

'Horse it into ya'

For Westerners travelling in what you might call developing countries, one of the many pieces of advice they’ll get from home is to be careful about what they eat. ‘You can never be too sure that what’s on your plate is what the locals might say it is’ is a common refrain – particularly so when it comes to meat. 

Well, in a ‘shocking’ reversal of fortunes, it seems a large portion of developed Europe has been, not quite ‘taken for a ride’ on a horse, but actually eating one – or more than one, it would seem.

Holy horses.

For instead of the meat content of some packaged products consisting of only beef as they were meant to, it turns out a little bit of horse meat was thrown in, too, to give it a bit of a ‘kick’, we can only guess. 

Now, for some people, depending perhaps on their country of origin, this isn’t that big of a deal. But for others, especially those in Ireland and Britain, not only is the thought of eating a horse a little unsettling, it’s actually illegal. 

Back in the old country, we do just about everything else with horses except eat them. In one sense this might be seen as a little unfair: Why single out the horse for special treatment? But that’s just the way it is.

Whatever your own thoughts on eating horse meat – we’re not fussy in this regard as any meat is a rare ‘treat’ these days – the bigger issue here, of course, is the breakdown in trust between the consumer and the supplier. 

When people buy packaged meat, they expect it to be what it says on the packet – regardless if the actual true meat content is minuscule. 

There is also the problem of quality assurance and standards. As most horses are not raised for human consumption, they and their meat are not treated as a foodstuff in the same way that cattle, pigs and sheep are (or at least should be) and therefore generally not subject to the same standards. This is especially so in terms of what injections and medication they receive throughout their life.

The fact, however, that this ‘scandal’ has been limited, so far at least, to relatively cheap packaged meals – ready-made lasagne, meat pies and suchlike – has seen the debate also centre on the people who buy them and why. 

Regardless of whatever kind of meat is in these meal-in-a-minute style products, many of them firmly fall into the junk-food category, despite what the manufacturers might say; high in fat, salt, carbohydrates, sugar even and loaded with other ‘enhancers’ while the protein levels are pretty low.

Healthy, home-made grub.

People who buy them – and from what we’ve witnessed in the past it’s not just those from the poorest backgrounds – point to the fact that they are cheap and extremely convenient. No labouring in the kitchen required. 

Both aspects are true, but you can get many different types of fresh fruit and vegetables (both root and over-ground) for similar, if not cheaper prices. 

As for the convenience, it doesn’t take that long to put together a tasty vegetable stir-fry where you control what kind of flavours are added. Heck, chop up a few spuds and put them on the boil and they’re ready in less than 30 minutes. OK, it’s not as quick as five minutes in the microwave but when your health and well-being are at stake, what’s half an hour? We tend to find, too, that if you wash the pots and pans you used in cooking before you sit down to eat, it makes the meal all the tastier.

‘Ah, but what about the meat?’, you ask. Well, for one, as pointed out earlier, there’s not much of that in the majority of those all-in-one meals – at best the scratchings from a butcher. Plus, do we really need to eat meat every day of the week or even at least twice a day as it is for some? No, is the simple answer, we don’t.

Many of us have become so accustomed to having some sort of meat with most of our snacks that anything we eat without it just doesn’t seem right. It’s a safe bet, though, that if we all had to personally kill our own animals there’d be plenty more vegetarians about – and no one would be any the worse off. 

Indeed, there might be a reduction in obesity because of it, considering the quality of meat, or lack thereof as the case is, that many consume these days.

There’s a lot of satisfying, healthy fun you can have with cooking an array of different vegetables that can be ready to eat in minutes. Yet, even in times when in many parts of the world the abundance of a variety of ‘green’ foods has never been greater, our willingness to experiment with them is quite low in general.

HorseRADISH (pic from theherbcottage.com).

Our native land often comes in for criticism on this front. Climatically and historically, though, we Irish have an excuse – the land naturally isn’t brimming full of different types of fruit and veg all year round. 

This is far less the case, however, here in our adopted country of Colombia. Most of the locals, though, seem unwilling to embrace a varied vegetable diet, even though plenty of them are available and at very cheap prices. 

In fact, the standard plate here generally comes with three starchy carbohydrates – rice, potatoes and pasta – mushy beans or peas, a token piece of meat or fish and a bit of a salad that a snail would devour in seconds. You’d find more colour and variety at a Ku Klux Klan meeting compared to the offerings on a standard Colombian dish.

That’s not to say we don’t like what they eat here, but they could be a little more ‘adventurous’ in the kitchen at times*. 

For example, a little more horseradish and less, erm, horse. Are you listening, Europe?

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*For our like of the 'famed' arepas in particular, check out 'Six of the best in 2012 (well kind of)' http://bit.ly/VQGxxo

+In case you're wondering, the 'inspiration' for the title of this post came from this particular 'gem' of a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhILr70yKQU

Tribal warfare

Most of us identify with somewhere, a place we call home. And while we tend to have a strong sentimental attachment to where we were born as well as the family we belong to, we, of course, had no say in either case.

However, whether we like it or not, our place of birth is an important decoder for many people as to what we’re about, our view of the world and suchlike. 

Moreover, because we tend to be only ever seen as being from one place regardless of how well travelled we are, if we settle in another location for a time our views and opinions on certain things are often considered less important than those of the natives.

One of the more innocent ways this can manifest itself is in the ‘what would you know, you’re not from here’ jibe from locals. 

In a Colombian context, normally that statement of fact doesn’t bug us – appearances apart, our general honesty tends to mark us out as different. 

But if it’s said in a mind-your-own-business context when the discussion is centred on areas where perhaps this country could do better – environmental, social and other such borderless issues in a sense – then we can get quite animated.

Not much time left to save ourselves. Or is the game already up?

You see, despite how small the world may have become thanks to advancements in technology as well as travel, we human beings are still quite tribal.

In some ways, this tribalism can be positive and even enjoyable. 

Sport is one, in its truest form – a bit of healthy competition where clubs or regions or nations or whatever go head to head to see who is the best within a certain sphere. Heck, we could even put the Eurovision Song Contest into this positive (although, perhaps not enjoyable) tribalism.

But even within the sport bubble, the more insidious elements of this particular ‘ism’ frequently surface. Hatred of the ‘others’, racism, violence – the world’s soccer terraces and indeed playing fields are particularly adept at fostering such feelings and subsequent actions.

It is within the fields of both nationalism – or land ownership in its earlier form – and religion, though, where tribalism has been at its most brutal and deadly. 

From man’s earliest battles to the world’s current conflicts these two afflictions have been to the forefront. 

Considering the origins of the human race, perhaps it should come as no surprise that the Middle East continues to be the global epicentre of these wars. We may live in a more "advanced" age than ever before, dealing on a daily basis with people who are not of our tribe, but old habits die hard.

'Thou shalt not cross' - Orangemen about to march in Belfast.

To deal with the problems we face – be they economic, environmental, health, etc. – most of us now realise that cooperation and close partnership on a global scale is what is needed. 

What’s more, as a species we have done more to damage our natural environment than any other, something, again the majority of us are finally aware of. 

Yet despite a lot of talk about trying to limit our destructive ways, progress on this front appears to be painstakingly slow.

In times of uncertainty or danger, we tend to retract into the comfort of our tribe. Again, we may outwardly know that we’re all interconnected but a lot of the time our actions betray that.

Take the current EU economic crisis. Now, while many wrongs have been made by many parties across the currency "union" – in both the euro’s formation and its operation – the best, indeed only, way to solve the problems is through greater alliances and collaboration. 

The desire in a number of quarters, however, is to go on solo runs, to withdraw to the national boundaries that we know and love so well. Europe doesn’t need reminding of the problems that can emerge when jingoistic tendencies spring up.

From time immemorial, powerful political and religious leaders have been able to mobilise the masses under their control to fight for a relatively abstract state or belief in order to butcher their fellow man. For in individual terms, a few psychopaths aside, most human beings do not have an inherent desire to kill. 

However, throw in a perceived dehumanised, monstrous enemy, with associated misplaced fear and ignorance and it’s surprising how that can change.

Modern warfare, where thousands of people can be killed at the touch of a button in an almost nonchalant way, has balanced out any developments we may have made in the last few hundred years to be a more enlightened, peace-seeking species. The lives lost don’t seem real, the damage and pain is very often removed from the doers' sight.

Time for us to change our view of the world.

Two, seemingly paradoxical, mindset changes are needed. One is to step outside our small tribal base and think of the global, inter-dependent, inter-connected tribe as well as this planet being our shared home. 

The second is to think of those others, fellow people that is, as individuals – living, breathing beings with similar worries, concerns and aspirations as ourselves.

The usual argument against all this is that it’s wishy-washy, idealistic, utopian rubbish. 

Yes, it is idealistic, but what's wrong with having lofty aspirations? The easiest option is to just accept things as they are. Make no attempt and, of course, nothing will change. For some, that is perhaps the way they want it.

But for the human race to truly evolve it demands more. As does the quest to protect our shared global home.
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* For related articles see: 'Phantom freedom' http://bit.ly/SOQUl0 and 'Whose land is it anyway?' http://bit.ly/NQIsTr

Eur-out

Citizens of Ireland, arise from your slumber. It’s now fully clear, Europe doesn’t want us anymore, as if it ever really did. 

If it wasn’t pretty clear already as to the continent’s feelings towards us, events of the past few weeks have spelt it out in no uncertain terms. 

What the Reich thinks of us & the rest of its 'Empire'.

Remember just last month the Irish electorate – well, those remaining in the country who bothered to vote – gave both the euro currency and EU itself a significant shot in the arm by endorsing the Fiscal Treaty in a referendum. It was a straight forward yes – not one of those nos that means a yes á la the Nice and Lisbon treaties. 

As all our main political parties assured us in the lead up to the vote – bar Sinn Féin and a few other weird leftists – a big thumbs-up would win us brownie points on the ‘mainland’ (that’s Europe we’re referring to here, not Britain, as some Shinners may think). 

Given the boot

But what happens? Well, our first dining at the top table of European soccer since 1988 – where it’s really at – sees us suffer a humbling 3-1 reverse to Croatia. This is a country, bear in mind, that’s not even a fully-fledged European Union member. Come on, they might as well have just given our place at the finals to that most European of countries, Israel. 

That’s followed swiftly by a 4-0 thrashing from a country that has a much worse debt problem than us, Spain. 

'As many an Ulsterman has been trying to tell us for years: We must utilise our orange power.'

Sport often tends to be more blunt and honest than most other walks of life. The message is clear – and don’t be fooled into thinking that it’s just soccer related. ‘We’ve had enough of these Irish alcoholics pretending to be part of Europe; the game is up lads’. Time to exit stage left. 

Who wouldn't like these guys? Europe just doesn't get it, eh?

The rot, however, has been setting in for some time. We should have really jumped ship after the ‘Hand of Henry’ incident in Paris (see: http://bit.ly/NruJT9). Loyalty gets you nowhere; just ask any married couple about that. 

Ignoring the Irish

It’s not all sporting signs, though. Even when we shower them with love, no less than two years in a row, in the shape of Jedward at Eurovision, they give us the proverbial two-fingers. Do you think the United States or even China would flatly reject such wooing? Of course not.

We can go further back if you want. For one, the Romans never wanted us. Yet for centuries we’ve been pledging our allegiance firmly in that direction – a one-way relationship if there ever was one. 

There’s more. How many times did we send SOS calls to our Catholic neighbours in France and Spain when Protestant Britain was laying siege to our land? Too big a number to go through here, that’s for sure.

And what help did we get? A few half-hearted attempts at sending military reinforcements, nothing more. 

Eastern promise?

Contrast this with Dermot MacMurrough’s call for assistance to Strongbow in the 12^th century. It was the start of a long-lasting, ahem, friendship with our neighbours across the Irish Sea. A friend in need and all that.

Some of our strongest assets - red heads & cattle.

Now, in case you thought we’d forgotten, the never-put-a-foot-wrong Germans, our current masters, aren’t without fault either; bombing poor little neutral Ireland’s capital city during World War Two. 

What did we do in return? Send our condolences to the German Embassy in Dublin on the news of the noble Herr Hitler’s death. Talk about setting a precedent for being a soft touch. 

'They may take our freedom but they'll never take our cattle!' 'What's that? They already have?!'

So let’s stop deluding ourselves – trying to be part of something that we’re plainly not. 

We have options. The Yanks would surely accept us – all we’d have to do is go back to living in thatched cottages and replace all those leaving the country with more cattle and sheep, thereby bringing back the traditional Irish traffic jam. 

We could, though, look east instead. That should at least ensure an easier qualifying route to the Fifa World Cup. Should, that is. 

In any case, if things were going awry against Asian opposition, we could always throw on Paul McShane. Our friends from the Orient would then be too busy trying to get a photo of his flowing ginger locks rather than worrying about football. 

As many an Ulsterman has been trying to tell us for years: We must utilise our orange power.

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For more on the way things currently stand for the Republic of Ireland, check out this very informative video: http://www.rte.ie/sport/player/#!/clip/820/