The Colombian Nazi delusion

Have you heard the one about the Colombian Nazis? No? Well, somewhat worryingly, it's not actually a joke. In this land of incredulous contradictions, there exists a rather confused bunch of adherents to the Adolf Hitler branch of fascism.

Latinos go Nazi. (Picture from diezcuriosidades.com.)

Perhaps they were missing the day when Nazi eugenics policy was explained in history class – that's if they went to school at all, of course. 

For, needless to say, if Hitler and his cronies were around today, Latinos wouldn't exactly be their idea of people worth supporting. In a Nazi dominated world, not just having the movement's support would be the least of their worries, though, you'd imagine.

Yet racism is alive and well in these parts. I know a number of, let's say well-coloured locals, who would move if a black person sat beside them on a bus or wherever. 

The thing is, in some parts of the world, these same well-coloured folk could be prejudiced against just because of their appearance. If only we could all see the bigger picture.*

But hey, in a country where anything with just the appearance of being to the left of the political spectrum is despised by many, the Nazis' vehemently anti-Communist stance is more than agreeable. Reaching out to find common ground with people who might like to exterminate you; how commendable. (Let's just not mention the whole Aryan issue.) 

Not only that, but the hatred of capitalism – tied up with anti-Semitism – espoused by leading Nazis also fits in well with our Colombian fascists. A not-too-neutral syncretism you might say.

However, herein lies another contradiction. You see many of these Colombian Nazis support the country's paramilitaries, or paracos as they're not very affectionately called. And where have these paracos looked for (and found) support in their bid to rid Colombia of the leftist threat? Why that bastion of capitalism the United States of America.

Bargain swastikas.

Indeed, the 'doyen' of the Colombian paramilitary, the late Carlos Castaño, was enamoured of the US and apparently had aspirations to live there. He once remarked: “I've always considered the US as a nation that has worked as the police of the world, that keeps an eye out so nothing happens to it.”** 

Moreover, he received training from mercenaries in Israel; skills he brought back to Colombia with deadly results.

Yet some of the Nazis/paracos I've had the 'pleasure' of encountering, most recently in a downtown Bogotá tienda, one that has coincidentally but innocently been named 'Nazi bar' (see Bogotá's simple pleasures II as to why that is), are not exactly following the Castaño line when it comes to the US. 

Well, they actually take the complete opposite view. 'Gringos go home' is more their approach. Oh, aren't we so terribly confused?

Though in this land of contradictions and flaky reasoning, it's par for the course. 'Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer'; we're just not sure which 'one' that is.

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*The 'extranjero-files' – that is, not a xenophobe looks at the racism topic in more detail.

**Quote taken from: Dudley, Steven. Walking Ghosts: Murder and Guerilla Politics in Colombia. New York, Routledge, 2006, p. 201.

All you need is Ecuador (for a caffeine detox)

They say that it's the small things in life that make a difference. The everyday occurrences, or non-occurrences as it may be, that matter most. 

To be honest, most of us don't think about them that often – life could become a little overbearing if we did. It's only when you step outside of your routine, encounter differences, that they may become apparent.

Ibarra: The lack of coffee is not a deal-breaker.

There's also the chance that it might come as a surprise how attached you've become to such small things – a case of 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone'.

On a recent, necessary trip to Ecuador – a country I've visited on two previous occasions – some of those, what are best described as 'home-from-home comforts' considering it's in comparison with Colombia, were noticeable by their absence.

Now, such comforts must fall into the bracket of things I've just got used to over the last 36 months or so. For when I was in Ecuador in both 2009 and 2011 their non-existence didn't bother me. 

Moreover, my own rural, west of Ireland background ensures I wasn't born accustomed to them – well, at least one of them anyway.

That one being my penchant for daily coffees with a drop of milk – café con leche, cortado, perico or pintado as you'll find them called in these parts – in value-for-money panaderías (bakeries/bread shops). 

You see, in Colombia (or Bogotá in any case) all panaderías sell coffee, all through the day. Usually, it's nothing glamorous but when you get it at a price that's easy on the pocket, it makes it all the tastier.

In Ecuador, in the places I visited on this latest trip that is, while almost every second shop is a panadería, that's just it: they are panaderías/bread shops and no more. They don't sell coffee. 

Indeed, when you ask the staff in them for one, it's like going into a police station asking for a burger and chips (watch from 3' 20'' on the link for the reference). And informing them that selling coffee in a panadería is the norm in neighbouring Colombia generally doesn't go down too well.

One panadería in the coastal city of Atacames did at least make some effort to compensate. There, the wily owners had instant coffee on each table, a hot water dispenser and even made milk available for those partial to a dash of it. Perhaps the idea might take off. It's not brewed coffee, but it's a start.

The other things conspicuous by their absence were tienda bars. I've documented on umpteen occasions my liking for such places in Bogotá. Yet, in Ecuador – well, Tulcán, Ibarra and to a lesser extent Atacames – they don't seem to be the norm. 

What would be a tienda bar in Colombia, in Ecuador it's just a shop where you can buy beer for takeaway only. Drinking it on the premises isn't really an option as there are no tables and few chairs available. Of course, they do have bars – pool halls, karaoke joints and the like – but the rough-and-ready, basic tienda one isn't in the mix.

It's important to state that I'm not pointing these out as negatives. They're not deal-breakers; as alluded to, there are alternatives. What's more, a little less coffee (and alcohol) isn't a bad thing every now and again.

Tulcán's rather arty cemetery: Everybody's dying to get in.

Plus, one of the reasons tienda bars and panaderías-cum-cafés are popular in Colombia is because they are much cheaper than many proper bars/pubs and cafés. 

In Ecuador, from what I could see and also sounding out the locals, the big price swings between different neighbourhoods in one city don't really exist. You can treat yourself in a fancy location there for much less than it would cost here in Colombia. That is to say, there appears to be more equality in Ecuador. Colombia, take note.

It is, nonetheless, interesting to notice the differences, subtle as they may be, a border can make. For landscape-wise, there's not much to choose between the two countries; both are equally impressive in similar ways. You might go as far as to say that if you were led blindfolded into one or the other, you'd do well to say with certainty which country it is.

Make a quick visit to a panadería, though, and you should get your answer. 

On that front, the famed Thai-English phrase springs to mind: 'Same same, but different.' Not in a bad way, of course.
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NOTE: If you're making the overland crossing into Ecuador at Rumichaca, seek out an old man wearing a hat called Moses if you want to change Colombian pesos into dollars. From my experience, he gives the best rate.

Colombia's good cops

OK, credit where credit is due. We can all be quick to criticise but slow to give praise where it is warranted. 

In this regard, since this writer first uncovered the simple delights of Bogotá's less-than-safe (to say the least) barrio of La Perseverancia, the lack of a regular police presence for such a notorious spot has been frequently mooted on these pages and elsewhere.*

It might look like something from Fr. Ted, but this CAI unit does make a difference.

So the recent arrival of a new mobile CAI (Centro de Atención Inmediata or Immediate Attention Centre – basically a small, 24-hour police station) is something to be applauded. For sure, I'd like to take credit for this, believing that my constant reminders to the Colombian police force via Twitter and other sources were a factor. Somewhat unlikely that, though. 

A recent protest march by the residents of the adjoining, more affluent – and thus more influential – La Macarena neighbourhood to do something about the poor security in the area was a more forceful message you'd have to think.

Those of a more cynical nature about this, such as a somewhat left-leaning friend, say it's quite telling that as soon as ex-mayor Gustavo Petro was finally disposed of, more police were put on the beat. Surely coincidental, right? It couldn't be a case of a political game being played with such an important issue?

On another point, while the extra police presence on that side of town generally gives a safer feel to the place, it hasn't come without some drawbacks for the local revellers. The biggest one of those is that officers are quick to stop people from drinking on the street outside the little tienda bars. On a lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon that's a bit of a pity for the likes of Don Fernando's (aka 'La Panella'). But we can't have it all our own way.

Of course, some say that a more visual police presence, especially in Latin American countries, doesn't mean much. That is, you can't trust many of the upholders of law and order in these parts.

Personally, however, I have always found the Colombian police to be decent – perhaps overly so on occasions considering what their duties are – and trustworthy. Indeed, there have been times when officers here have taken a much lighter approach to some late-night antics compared to what my native Irish police would have done when faced with the same scenario.

In fact, a lot of the time Colombian police behaviour mirrors that of the local population here at large: they are much kinder and more helpful towards foreigners than they are towards their own. One just needs to pop over the border to Venezuela for an opposite example. There, a foreign face generally guarantees extra heat from state authorities.

Venezuelan cops: A little harsher on foreigners? (Pic from Facebook.)

So it is quite off-putting to see what basically amounts to giving Colombian cops the middle finger by outsiders who have benefited from their leniency. 

When you've just been let off the hook for not only driving without a licence but also driving under the influence of illegal drugs and breaking red lights while at it, you might think the least you could be is quietly thankful you weren't charged or deported. 

Moreover, you should be grateful that nobody was killed because of your stupidity.

But no. For one particular Nordic expatriate here, he found it appropriate to publicly post on Facebook the above misdemeanours. 

In an arrogant and rather condescending, yet at the same time childish comment, he wrote how the police were happy to send him and his accomplices away with a 'hope you've learnt your lesson' telling off. This he clearly hasn't done, considering the style in which the post was written.

Hence, while the light-touch approach taken by many Colombian cops towards some foreigners may be welcome, there are times when you wish the letter of the law was applied in full.

Lessons might be learnt then.

And the police would be deserving of a bit more hard-to-come-by credit.

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*A good place to start on the La Perseverancia front is In defence of hoping (and fighting) for, at least, a 'Freer Bogotá'.

Of course, there's always work to be done in keeping things safe, as stated in Bogotá's 'dark side' rises.

Colombia's presidential election: The candidates (and their Irish 'equivalents')

When it comes to politics, we Irish are as passionate as they come. Throw in an imminent election and our interest increases even more.

Back home, the European and local council elections will occupy some people's minds over the next few weeks. However, they're just not as 'sexy' as a general election, when we select the people to run (or not run, as the case often is) the state at national level. In this regard, Colombia's upcoming presidential ballot can fill that void for now.

So in a bid to help you know better those in the running for Colombia's top job, the following is a comparison between the candidates for Ireland's last presidential election in 2011 and those now doing likewise here.

Of course, the role of an Irish president is virtually ceremonial, with our prime minister more comparable to a Colombian president in terms of duties. But for character, background and in some ways affiliation similarities, this guide should be somewhat helpful.

10 more years?

Juan Manuel Santos – Michael D. Higgins

This may seem a strange match up. Higgins of the left and eventual winner of the Irish contest with the centrist/centre-right (as far left as presidents go here, really) Colombian incumbent now seeking re-election.

Michael D; least bad.

However, in the Irish case, after a fairly
tumultuous campaign for a presidential election, voters sided with Higgins as what could be seen as a 'safest pair of hands, not as controversial' kind of mentality. In less than glowing terms about Santos, the phrase 'best of a bad bunch' is one you'll regularly hear from many Colombians.

A problem area for El Presidente leading up to the 25 May poll is his decision not to intervene in the controversial dismissal of the now former Bogotá mayor Gustavo Petro, which could see some centre-left minded voters desert him. On the other side, the peace talks he has initiated with the Farc guerillas haven't gone down too well with some centre-right leaning Colombians.*

Opinion polls suggest he should still pull through – but it's unlikely he'll get 50 per cent or more of the votes to prevent a run-off election with his nearest challenger.

Peñalosa: Freewheeling.

Enrique Peñalosa Londoño – Seán Gallagher

While Peñalosa has much more of a political pedigree — he was a congressman in the early 1990s and mayor of Bogotá from 1998-2001 — than the entrepreneurial Gallagher, the link here comes from past associations with tainted (tainted for some that is) characters.

Gallagher: Toxic links.

Gallagher looked a shoo-in for the Irish presidency until accusations of dodgy financial dealings, linked with the once almighty but at the time (and still for many) pretty toxic Fianna Fáil party, dogged and eventually scuppered his campaign.

For Peñalosa, having previous ties with divisive former president and very much right-of-centre Álvaro Uribe could work against him. However, in a country such as Colombia where the left has traditionally been kept (often brutally) silent when it comes to having a say in elections, the Uribe link may not be as telling as you might think.

Indeed, that Peñalosa is running on a Green Party ticket could see him take a little bit more from the left than he might have done in another context.

López: Reawakening Colombia's left?

Clara López – David Norris & Martin McGuinness

As much as the Irish electorate might like to see itself as progressive and open-minded, the fact that David Norris is gay sat uncomfortably for many.

Norris (top) & 'missile' McGuinness.

'A nice guy, but you can't have a homosexual for president' was the general feeling, even if few admitted it publicly.

The above pretty much holds true in Colombia too, yet your prospects are probably a little worse being a leftist politician.
We're barely into double digits in terms of years passed since those from the democratic left were regularly, systematically even, gunned down due to their political persuasion.

Basically for those who held, and continue to hold, the purse strings and their supporters, left meant – and still means for some – guerilla, regardless of the actual truth. And being associated with guerillas while seeking high office in a country trying to put a deadly past behind it doesn't fit well with most franchised citizens – just ask Martin McGuinness.

Yes, things aren't as obviously bloody as they once were in Colombia and it's fair to say Ms López probably never held a gun in her hand in her life.

However, 'left' is still a dirty word for much of the electorate in these parts. With that, Ms López is in a battle she simply cannot win. Though, like many in her position before, she'll put up a good fight.

Zuluaga: Who?

Óscar Ívan Zuluaga – Gay Mitchell

Traditionalists with a powerful, popular party behind them. But dull and uninspiring. That pretty much sums up things here.

Gays, lots of Gays.

Mitchell's campaign never really got off the ground; largely because he just couldn't connect with voters.

For Zuluaga, the popular joke among the Colombian press speaks volumes:
Each time he arrives home the security guards at his apartment complex ask who he is, such is his dangerously low profile.

Running for the Centro Democrático (Democratic Centre) party and thus being in the shadow of the aforementioned former president Álvaro Uribe is both a hindrance and a help. It's a hindrance in that it's difficult for him to cut his own niche, be his own man. On the plus side, the Uribe link will land him plenty of votes from the multitude of right-leaning Colombians, ones he may not have got on his own standing.

For that reason, he can't be discounted as easily as Gay Mitchell was.

Well, if the T-shirt fits, Marta?

Also-rans: Dana (top) & Mary Davis.

Marta Lucía Ramírez – Dana Rosemary Scallon & Mary Davis

A case of the also-rans.

Representing the Conservative Party (aren't they all Conservative, bar López?) Ms Lucía Ramírez's presence might have the effect of taking some votes off Santos and Zuluaga.

Hence, she may have more of an influence than either Rosemary Scallon or Davis had on the Irish contest. But she certainly won't be making Casa de Nariño her home for the next four years.

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*For a background article on the peace talks, see Colombia's path to peace?

Transmilenio: A snapshot of Colombian "organisation"?

'In Colombia, we’re more concerned with the idea and not so much with the execution. Additionally, time management is messy here.'

The Transmilenio: It almost looks serene here.

The above sentiments aren't mine (although, they could be). Rather they are that of a Bogotá native now living and working in the USA. In so many ways they ring true in this land.

Let's start with a somewhat positive outlook. There certainly seems to exist a strong work ethic among the Colombian populace – from a Bogotá context in any case. Or a strong desire to get to work at least. 

All you have to do is try and squeeze yourself onto a city bus or the (much-maligned) Transmilenio from 5 am onwards each weekday to see that most city residents are not slouches when it comes to early rising. 

Plus, it's not a case of early to work, early home. Many won't commence the return journey until at least 12 hours later, if not more. Slaves to their work or workaholics? Well, yes and no.

Coming back to our opening quote, a lot of it is down to time management (or lack thereof) and methodology coupled with, to put it mildly, a less-than-clinical execution, manifested in so many interlocking areas across the metropolis.

On the hours that many actually spend at work here, how productive they are with that time is open to much debate. Very often the answer is in the results; they're usually not jaw-dropping. 

It comes down to that difference between being at work and actually doing work. 

Many Colombian employers prefer to see their staff staying late at the office or wherever, having the 'look of work' about them, even if it is to the detriment of productivity. It's linked in with the inherent lack of trust that people here have in one another.

Inside the Transmilenio system.

Now, another reason why many may willingly stay late at work, especially those who face a public transport commute, is to avoid going home at peak times. 

The aforementioned Transmilenio is something I touched on some time back, however few will argue that the system has got progressively worse as it has expanded.* 

Not only is it severely under-capacity, but the behaviour of its users has deteriorated to sub-animal level compared to the last time I wrote about this.

Outside of more buses, station layout, with a special focus on the manner in which people enter and exit the carriages, is something that needs to be seriously addressed. Yet any new stations built are designed in the same way as the flawed current system.

On top of this, the state of the route corridors is generally shocking; buses often have to slow to a crawl to manoeuvre their way around massive potholes and uneven surfaces. 

An excuse given for the latter problem is that Bogotá is built on a swamp, thus maintaining smooth roadways is difficult. Well, it's not the first city in the world to have to overcome such natural inconveniences. 

One thing that would help is for authorities not to give such work to cowboy construction companies, where the bottom line is lining one's own pocket.

You've also a question of focus. With the Transmilenio practically on its knees, the powers that be have decided making WiFi available in a number of stations a priority. Well, perhaps it's a way to pacify the masses as they hang around like cattle waiting, typically in vain, to cram onto the next bus.

Then you have the 'integrated' public transport system, or SITP, which has been rolling out gradually since late 2012.** The idea is that it's meant to replace the myriad of private bus operators currently bringing the majority of the city's populace to and from their place of work. 

One of the problems with it, however, is that it's not really integrated. For starters, the card you need to use the SITP buses is not compatible with most of the Transmilenio services. This is down to the fact that they have different operators.

Colectivos -- better than the Transmilenio?

What's more, the SITP buses themselves are also operated by different companies, depending on which part of the city they serve. Have we lost something in translation between the Spanish 'integrado' and the English 'integrated'? 

Alongside all that, deciphering where each route goes seems overly and unnecessarily confusing. It's the busetas/colectivos for me still.

Taking all this 'on board' so to put it, as a friend opined about the transport system in Bogotá, 'it's a microcosm of Colombian life in general; not a bad idea in theory, but how it's put into operation is, to say the least, incomplete.'

It's not that people aren't aware of the problems; it's just the attempted solutions tend to be ill-thought-out. 

Spend some more time at the planning stage – or indeed just try a bit of planning at all – and who knows what could happen? Probably not a lot, though.

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*See Bogotá's transport truths.

**For more on the SITP, read 'Dulling down' Bogotá.

A version of this story is also available on the El Tiempo web site at  http://bit.ly/1igXqyz.

Bogotá's 'dark side' rises

There is no doubt that Colombia's image has changed, in a positive sense, over the last number of years. 

Not only has this happened from an external perspective, where this naturally stunning country was once seen as a war zone and best to be avoided, but also internally. 

Many Colombians now have a desire, and more importantly feel safe enough, to travel around and see the many sights this land has to offer; and on that front it has few equals.

Above is as good as it gets for some of Bogotá's homeless.

From a personal perspective, a few minor-ish incidents aside, I've generally felt largely safe here, be that living in Bogotá or travelling independently to various parts of the country.* 

Of course, at times it can be a case of ignorance being bliss. In terms of the capital city, since my first arrival in 2009, I've wandered about in areas that many longer-term residents, with memories of a not-too-distant deadly past, wouldn't let a rat roam in. 

For sure, I've heard the stories, but I find it best to judge from personal experience in the here and now, along with my gut instincts. Such an approach generally sees me right.

To this end, I had always found Bogotá's historic centre, La Candelaría, as safe as any inner-city neighbourhood can be. 

However, since returning to live there after a spell in some different sectors, it seems that there has been a growth in "less-desirable" types floating about the area. And, at the risk of being biased, their focus appears to be on the ubiquitous extranjeros (foreigners) in this part of town. 

That's largely due to the mistaken (on this writer's part anyway) belief that many of us have lots of cash to spread around. Not unlike many things here, they're honing in on the wrong targets really. How about trying to get the city's and Colombia's wealthy ruling classes to start doing something meaningful for you?

So while huge strides have been made to make downtown Bogotá more welcoming to both locals and foreigners, there is a danger that authorities are taking their collective eyes off the ball. In fact, I'm beginning to feel safer in what is generally recognised as much more of a crime hotspot, La Perseverancia barrio.

One of the potential reasons for this noticeable increase in insecurity in the centre is linked to the attempts to clean up the notorious Bronx barrio a little further to the south. Despite the optics and political backslapping, it really has been a case of just scattering a deprived, disgruntled and potentially dangerous bunch of people across the city. 

The real social problems at root are what need to be addressed. City and government policy thus far is akin to spraying a shot of air freshener into an overflowing sewer. 

Now, lest I be accused of always finding problems but rarely offering solutions, here are a couple of simple things that could offer at least some modicum of improvement.

Bogotá: Getting 'darker' and more dangerous by the day?

For starters, provide some basic shelters across the city for the many homeless to rest, wash themselves, go to the toilet. It's not the most welcoming environment for tourists and residents alike to witness homeless people relieving themselves in public in broad daylight. 

With time these shelters could even be turned into something like soup kitchens – the costs shouldn't be excessive. Once established and, hopefully, being utilised, such places could start providing basic education and other training programmes, as well as offering drug-addiction services.

Furthermore, for the moment at least, a more visible police presence, especially at nighttime, would be helpful. And on what should be a less-taxing note, ensuring all street lights are in working order would aid in reducing the number of dark corners for ladrones (robbers) to hide behind.

Whether the political will exists to undertake such modest measures is questionable.

What is certain, however, is that the heretofore favoured policy of ignoring or just moving the problem won't make it go away. 

Come on guys, get those heads of yours out of the sand. If not, the shiny new positive image will continue to fade.

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*For a previous post detailing one of these previous incidents, see Fighting for 'Free Bogotá'.

Google 'NoSense'

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.”

It has been a hugely successful few days for the good folk at Google AdSense. A serious threat to the viability and reputation of its service has been removed. Order has been restored. Wrong Way's malicious manoeuvrings have been uncovered and are now terminated.

Somebody's making money; not Wrong Way, though (pic from http://compuscien.blogspot.com).

What? You haven't heard of this blog's 'dodgy dealings', a cunning plan to 'rob' AdSense and its advertisers of millions of euros? Well, to be honest, neither did I, until the Google offshoot informed me via e-mail that my account was being disabled due to 'invalid activity'. 

What exactly that invalid activity was, is anybody's guess. AdSense is certainly being coy about it, apparently due to security issues, so one can only speculate as to what exactly the breach of rules was.

All this coming at a time when Wrong Way was, um, taking off. Already in the kitty sat, drumroll please, a cool €25 ($34US), and this after only two years of the 'lucrative' advertising being displayed on the blog. At that rate, by 2017 I might have been close to reaching the current payout threshold of €70. Heady times indeed. 

My round-the-world trip plans were already taking shape on the belief that this big payday was looming. Now, alas, everything has been thrown into chaos. I fear each knock at the door is the bank manager coming to take what he can from me before I abscond.

Worse still, perhaps Google will send their henchmen to 'sort me out' for having the cheek to take them on (and almost get away with it too, as the above figures illustrate).

That wouldn't be too surprising considering the ruthless streak the company has displayed thus far. Not even a warning was forthcoming to inform me that the blog was 'under suspicion'.

Yes, there is an appeal process which I duly went through only to be promptly told, in another template e-mail (where is the personal touch guys?): 

“After thoroughly (my emphasis) reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we're unable to reinstate your AdSense account.” 

And the e-mail closed with the following: “As a reminder, further participation in the AdSense program by publishers whose accounts have been disabled is not permitted.”

You'll be, ahem, missed Open English (picture from openenglish.com).

That's where it's at. Very much a feeling of 'case closed'. In a bid to try to deal with a person rather than a generic appeal process and e-mail templates, I did write a message to AdSense on Google Plus to emphasise my bewilderment at the decision. Surprisingly, there has been no response.

So punished for an unnamed 'crime', with no real recourse to defend myself. Heck, Google's specialists might shut down the blog next (no such luck, you say). Perhaps, with this broadside, I'm in danger of biting off the hand that (barely) fed me?

For the time being, though, for all you loyal Wrong Way followers (don't laugh), look on the bright side: There'll be no more of those annoying Open English ads hogging this screen. That's our silver lining.

Plus, there's always WordPress and El Tiempo. It's not all about the money, right?