A series of unfortunate events: When Bogotá bites back

@wwaycorrigan

[Listen to an audio version of this blog entry here.]

On last week's Bogotá Nights, we discussed insecurity in Colombia's capital city and the country in general.

One regular viewer, an Englishman who has been based in this country for nine years, told us how he was the victim of only one crime-related episode during that time.

The indestructible colectivo buses, scene of a few thefts.

Considering Colombia has been my home for a similar period — it'll be ten years this November — the Englishman's revelation shocked me somewhat. I've averaged over one incident a year. 

So have I been lacking in street smarts or just been particularly unlucky? Or have I taken too many risks?

It's really a mixture of all three, as my recounting here of some of these, to borrow from Lemony Snicket, 'unfortunate events' should demonstrate.

I'll start with the rookie errors, where I was just too relaxed, where I let the guard down, as I put it years ago. Then I'll detail the incidents that were more foolhardy in nature, buoyed up by Dutch courage at times — when one remembers that is.

Out of sight, out of mind

On those rare summer nights in Ireland when the temperature is in the comfortable zone, one faces that critical choice of whether or not to take a jacket when heading out. I recall a friend's take on it: 'Better looking at it than looking for it.'

That sound advice also applies to one's personal belongings when in public spaces in Bogotá, with one important addition: Not only must one's items be in sight but they must also be difficult to be got at by others.

In terms of monetary value, the theft of my Asus laptop in 2018 was the biggest hit I suffered on this front. I generally don't like to go socialising when I have my laptop with me but passing by a friend's place on my way home from a class, he suggested we go for a few drinks.

The smart move would have been to leave my bag with the laptop inside at his house. Wise after the event, hey? 

The fact we were in a middle-class part of the city meant I was, subconsciously perhaps, less concerned about something untoward happening.

'Causing a bit of commotion, I grabbed the guy who I thought was the culprit and insisted he got off the bus with me. He did.'

Sat at a table, I had my bag under my chair. A drink or two in, a couple of people walked by us, one of them hitting my shoulder, prompting me to look in that direction. 

A few moments later I reached down to where my bag was. Gone in about six seconds. And so were the couple who took it. A hit-and-run attack of sorts.

A similar bag-grab incident happened a few years earlier whilst drinking coffee with a friend in a fancy Oma café in the city centre. On that occasion, fortunately, there was little of value in the bag.

Equally as frustrating as the above was having my Samsung smartphone swiped from my pocket on a packed city bus.  

Again, I have to accept my own stupidity in the incident — 'dando papaya' as the Colombians say, ire-inducing for the victim to hear as it is.

Writing on my phone throughout the commute — trying to be constructive with my time — when it came to my stop, I put the phone in the chest pocket of the shirt I was wearing and reached for the bell. Returning my hand to the chest pocket, the phone was gone. That's all it took, those few seconds.

Considering the closeness of people to me, I was convinced I knew the culprit. Causing a bit of commotion, I grabbed him and insisted he got off the bus with me. He did.

He pleaded with me saying it wasn't him but I was having none of it. I was sure he had some part in it. 

We went to the nearest minutos street vendor — basically mobile phones for hire per minute — and called my number. A woman answered. I told her I just wanted my phone back, no more. We agreed on a meeting place. Not thinking straight, I let the guy I'd taken from the bus go and made my way to the rendezvous point.

Papaya, the low-hanging fruit. You've to pay for the ones pictured here, though!

Once there, I called my phone again. And again, the woman answered. She said she was on her way. I waited. Then after about ten minutes, I called once more. This time, it went straight to voicemail.

It was only then it dawned on me that the guy who I'd plucked from the bus had obviously caught up with his accomplice and told her that the 'idiot gringo' let him go. They were in the clear.

Whilst angry about losing the phone, I was just as furious about actually capturing one of the thieves and then letting him off the hook.

Out of sight, out of mind indeed. The lesson? On packed buses or the Transmilenio — I also had a smartphone taken from my pocket when squeezing onto a Transmilenio — have your valuables well locked up, either in a bag that you have a tight grip on or tucked into your crotch area.

Wild rover

Sometimes showing no fear can work to one's advantage. And consuming alcohol often imbues one with inflated confidence.

I've undertaken long walks home along dimly lit, eerie streets that in sobriety I'd most likely avoid. Remembering the exact details of these wild rovings is often a bonus. Nonetheless, most of the time, nothing happens. Most of the time, that is.

Two incidents, in particular, stand out owing to their that-could-have-been-much-worse nature.

'The next thing I remember is waking up on a footpath miles south of where I lived with two guys emptying my pockets.'

In 2012, my first full year here, I had the pleasure of being wined and dined at a Christmas party for the English language institute for which I freelanced at the time. The do was in the greater Zona T area, a relatively fancy part of the city.

When home-time came, I opted to take a bus back to my residence in the centre rather than fork out for a taxi on my own — taxis have always been a last resort for me.

Rather tipsy, I was happy to find a vacant seat on the bus. The next thing I remember is waking up on a footpath miles south of where I lived with two guys emptying my pockets — I had something like 60,000 pesos in cash and a very basic phone, worth about 30,000 pesos.

The assailants, rather kindly, did leave me with 500 pesos, about a third of the value of the standard bus fare back then.

Slowly gathering my bearings but not at all too sure as to where exactly I was, I had a bit of a wait for another bus to come by — it was the early hours of the morning after all.

Eventually, one that passed through the centre came along. Thankfully the bus driver accepted my incomplete fare as I tried to explain in my quite poor Spanish what had happened.

Disorientated and drained, I took a seat and — wait for it — fell asleep again. I woke up to the bus driver telling me we'd reached the end of the route — at a small terminal in Fontibon to be precise, on the city's western limits.

I told him that I needed to go to the centre. Although he initially seemed keen to get me off, in the end, he left me where I was while he went for something to eat. About 30 minutes later he came back and set off on the return journey. I didn't miss my stop this time.

Six years later, in November 2018, I was socialising in my "beloved" La Perseverancia barrio. It was the birthday of one of my costeño (somebody originally from the coast, that is) acquaintances, so, as is the costeños wont, the beer and, more damagingly, whiskey were in full flow.

As I recall, we went on a bit of a tienda crawl. The whiskey soon began to take its toll. The next memory I have is of my coming round on a footpath, with a bloodied face, black eye and two police officers standing over me. I had nothing but the keys to my apartment on me.

Foolishly, I'd gone out that night with a wallet containing my Colombian bank card, my ID and my Irish driver's licence. I also had a bag with me. Everything was taken.

At least the police officers did drive me to my residence.

The next day I returned to La Perseverancia in a bid to get some idea as to what had transpired. I thought somebody might know something.

Of those I trust the most there, they knew as much as me, i.e. next to nothing. What exactly happened that night remains — and no doubt will remain — a mystery.

There have been some other similar opaque occurrences but the above gives enough of an idea of the idiocy involved.

Ending on a more positive outlook, outside of the Cuban phone crisis that I wrote about at the beginning of this year and at the risk of jinxing myself, I've had nothing stolen since 2018.

I think I've had my fair share all the same.
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Listen to Wrong Way's Colombia Cast podcast here.

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Things could always be better

When we're going through difficult or frustrating times, there is the old saying, 'Things could be worse', to make us feel a bit better.

For most, if not all people, that is the case. Things could always be worse. (OK, there may exist a person who, compared to everybody else on the planet, is faring the worst but even that individual could, in theory, find solace in the words above.)

Some people are happy with what they have, others not so ...

It's similar to those who espouse either the glass-half-full or glass-half-empty mentality. It depends on how you look at it, and in any one person, this could change from day to day without there being any noticeable change in the actual circumstances.

Yet, the argument against the glass-half-full/things-could-be-worse outlook is that, in certain cases, it promotes mediocrity, curbs development.

For example, in countries that have had a less-than-glorious past, such as my native Ireland and here in Colombia, the desire to continue to try and improve things isn't always apparent, be it at a government or individual level. 

One reason (of many), perhaps, why the oft-criticised public transport system in Bogotá splutters along as is (the Transmilenio is one thing, but many of the SITP bus routes are in disarray — let's not go there, again). There are, needless to say, other examples that we won’t get into here.

Those in the glass-half-empty brigade are often accused of being negative, pessimistic. That might be so, yet when it comes with a desire to make things better, then it can be seen as something positive.

The key, as is usually the case in such matters, is finding the balance. For sure, it's pointless to strive for what amount to unattainable goals — once we know that is the case, that is — or get worked up about things that we can't fix or undo.

It's generally better to focus on the positives of our current situation whilst, should we so wish, looking for improvement where we feel it's needed. Otherwise, we'll never even be close to feeling content, no matter what the situation.

That being said, there is a danger of underachievement if we always think 'things could be worse', especially so when in reality making our lot better doesn't require an awful amount of effort or drastic change.

It's really a quest for contentment and fulfilment; feeling satisfied doing what we at least think we should be doing.

This is what keeps us going. And for many, it's never-ending. Once one goal is 'netted', the search for another begins.
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Facebook: Wrong Way Corrigan - The Blog & IQuiz "The Bogotá Pub Quiz".

'¿Cómo conduzco?' 'Um, not very well'

Sometimes, what is seen as a bad practice in one culture can be viewed as something to be lauded in another. Or at least no one seems to get too worked up about it, which can be a bit puzzling if it wasn’t what you were brought up on.

Is that '¿cómo conduzco?' sticker a cry out for help?

Now, while many of the cultural traits in Colombia are not that far removed from what this writer is used to, there are a few head-scratchers all the same.

Enough has been written previously in these quarters about relationships and suchlike, so let’s stay clear of that area this time around. Plus, considering the topic, it’s best not to be completely, erm, ‘driven round the bend’ by trying to analyse this in too broad a scope.

Thus, the focus this time around is on the style of Colombian driving, especially – but not exclusively – in relation to those who drive for a living.

Basically, the general custom is to drive your vehicle as hard as you can, weaving in and out of whatever traffic gets in your way, then equally brake as hard as you can when you must stop (as inconvenient as stopping is when you’re in ‘full flow’).

In fact, quite paradoxically in a country where not much trust is put in anybody or anything – often with good reason – many Colombians appear to put a huge amount of trust in mechanical brakes.

Indeed, given such behaviour, there’s little wonder why a good number of Colombians, women from this perspective anyway, have firm figures. 

For when you have to make a move to get off a city bus, or when you’re standing from the moment you get on, you’d have an easier time keeping your balance on a small yacht in the middle of a violent storm on the high seas. A good workout for your body’s core you might say, to go along with the regular squat exercises taken on public transport.

It's easier to keep your balance when the bus is crowded.

It’s also a common occurrence to see rival bus drivers go to battle with their vehicles – like modern-day lancers – if they’ve been impeded trying to do their route as fast as they can. ‘Passengers. What passengers?’

Of course, from a Bogotá point of view, this rough-and-tumble, aggressive way of driving was due to change with the arrival of, firstly, the Transmilenio and then the SITP. Commuting in the city would be transformed into something resembling an angelic procession. Well, so some people told us.

However, to paraphrase the old saying, ‘You can take the man out of the colectivo, but you can’t take the colectivo (style of driving that is) out of the man.’

The SITP and, to a lesser extent, Transmilenio drivers are from the same mould as their predecessors.

Yes, it’s early days for the new system and changing a culture takes time. Plus, drivers in Bogotá, and throughout Colombia, aren’t helped by the appalling state of many of the main highways and byways.

Yet, for the moment, some money could be saved by not bothering to post those ‘¿Cómo conduzco?’ (literally, 'How do I drive?') stickers on the back of most vehicles. That’s because there’s pretty much a universal answer: ‘Not very well.’

Or perhaps we’re looking at the question the wrong way (as is this blog's wont, obviously). It could be a cry for help, as in ‘How do I actually drive this vehicle?’ The evidence certainly supports this.

Driving lessons – another opening in the Colombian market.

Time to Sitp — but how?

It’s now almost two years since Bogotá’s Sitp (Sistema Integrado de Transporte Público, Integrated Public Transport System) buses started rolling out. 

Unlike Santiago de Chile, authorities here went for a gradual process of replacing the old private, cash-in-hand system of busetas/colectivos with the new ‘streamlined’, public-private, card-based model.

Come on people, don't be shy; jump right on. (Photo from Facebook.)

However, we’re fast approaching Sitp domination time. Well, according to those calling the shots we are. 

Speaking on the introduction of an exclusive Sitp bus corridor on one of the capital’s main thoroughfares, Carrera Septima (7th Avenue), the city’s mobility secretary María Constanza García said that by the first week of September they hoped to have “retired 100 per cent the routes of the old buses that are on the corridor.”

Experience lets us know that such an aspiration might be a just a tad ambitious; especially judging by the first few days of the new ‘exclusive’ lane way. It’s difficult to see the old, fume-spluttering buses meekly retire in the coming weeks when demand for them seems as high as ever.

Despite all the efforts to wean people off their previous way of commuting, it’s still a common sight to see – a few routes aside – a near-empty blue Sitp bus crawling alongside an old school one with people hanging out the doors.

This lack of enthusiasm among the city’s inhabitants to change their ways is not surprising when you consider the current state of play. 

Firstly, the lack of easy-to-find route information is a major hindrance. OK, there is an app, Moovit, which serves somewhat as an on-line route finder. Yet it nearly tries to be too clever, telling people where to walk, for what distance and what shops you can find along the way (yes, I made that last one up; could be an idea, though). Most people just want to know which bus goes where. On that, it scores badly.

Some physical maps at the actual bus shelters and a little more detailed information on the stops for each route would come in handy, rather than some irrelevant bus number with just the final destination.

Regardless of that, there doesn’t seem to be a ready-made replacement for the Calle 19 (19th Street)/Carrera Tercera (3rd Avenue), Septima north-bound route; a popular, busy run that has been generally well served under the old operators.

What’s more, the private system – in typical Colombian contradictory fashion – still seems more user-friendly, even if this ‘user-friendliness’ is often a major inconvenience not only for other road users but fellow passengers also. 

Indeed, what you might think is good one day about the old buses’ way of doing things can be a source of frustration the next.

Old school: They haven't gone away, you know.

For example, that you can flag down or get off one of them from any location is great. However, if you’re on a bus in a rush to get somewhere and it’s stopping every second to pick up and drop off people, breaking like a rally car, it’s damn right annoying.

Then you have what is probably one of the busetas/colectivos biggest pull factors: The fact that you can get on even if you don’t have the full fare. 

Just wave a 1,000 peso note at the driver to signal your lack of funds and more often than not he (for it’s rarely a she) will let you on. 

On the downside, in contrast to the more regulated, ‘cold’, Sitp, the old system is still awash with the not very washed, usually unwelcome, bus vendors and wannabe rap artists.

So while Bogotá’s bus future may be Sitp blue, there’s still a bit of life in the old operators yet. 

Let’s see how things unfold over the next two years. Sure what’s the rush guys?

Transmilenio: A snapshot of Colombian "organisation"?

'In Colombia, we’re more concerned with the idea and not so much with the execution. Additionally, time management is messy here.'

The Transmilenio: It almost looks serene here.

The above sentiments aren't mine (although, they could be). Rather they are that of a Bogotá native now living and working in the USA. In so many ways they ring true in this land.

Let's start with a somewhat positive outlook. There certainly seems to exist a strong work ethic among the Colombian populace – from a Bogotá context in any case. Or a strong desire to get to work at least. 

All you have to do is try and squeeze yourself onto a city bus or the (much-maligned) Transmilenio from 5 am onwards each weekday to see that most city residents are not slouches when it comes to early rising. 

Plus, it's not a case of early to work, early home. Many won't commence the return journey until at least 12 hours later, if not more. Slaves to their work or workaholics? Well, yes and no.

Coming back to our opening quote, a lot of it is down to time management (or lack thereof) and methodology coupled with, to put it mildly, a less-than-clinical execution, manifested in so many interlocking areas across the metropolis.

On the hours that many actually spend at work here, how productive they are with that time is open to much debate. Very often the answer is in the results; they're usually not jaw-dropping. 

It comes down to that difference between being at work and actually doing work. 

Many Colombian employers prefer to see their staff staying late at the office or wherever, having the 'look of work' about them, even if it is to the detriment of productivity. It's linked in with the inherent lack of trust that people here have in one another.

Inside the Transmilenio system.

Now, another reason why many may willingly stay late at work, especially those who face a public transport commute, is to avoid going home at peak times. 

The aforementioned Transmilenio is something I touched on some time back, however few will argue that the system has got progressively worse as it has expanded.* 

Not only is it severely under-capacity, but the behaviour of its users has deteriorated to sub-animal level compared to the last time I wrote about this.

Outside of more buses, station layout, with a special focus on the manner in which people enter and exit the carriages, is something that needs to be seriously addressed. Yet any new stations built are designed in the same way as the flawed current system.

On top of this, the state of the route corridors is generally shocking; buses often have to slow to a crawl to manoeuvre their way around massive potholes and uneven surfaces. 

An excuse given for the latter problem is that Bogotá is built on a swamp, thus maintaining smooth roadways is difficult. Well, it's not the first city in the world to have to overcome such natural inconveniences. 

One thing that would help is for authorities not to give such work to cowboy construction companies, where the bottom line is lining one's own pocket.

You've also a question of focus. With the Transmilenio practically on its knees, the powers that be have decided making WiFi available in a number of stations a priority. Well, perhaps it's a way to pacify the masses as they hang around like cattle waiting, typically in vain, to cram onto the next bus.

Then you have the 'integrated' public transport system, or SITP, which has been rolling out gradually since late 2012.** The idea is that it's meant to replace the myriad of private bus operators currently bringing the majority of the city's populace to and from their place of work. 

One of the problems with it, however, is that it's not really integrated. For starters, the card you need to use the SITP buses is not compatible with most of the Transmilenio services. This is down to the fact that they have different operators.

Colectivos -- better than the Transmilenio?

What's more, the SITP buses themselves are also operated by different companies, depending on which part of the city they serve. Have we lost something in translation between the Spanish 'integrado' and the English 'integrated'? 

Alongside all that, deciphering where each route goes seems overly and unnecessarily confusing. It's the busetas/colectivos for me still.

Taking all this 'on board' so to put it, as a friend opined about the transport system in Bogotá, 'it's a microcosm of Colombian life in general; not a bad idea in theory, but how it's put into operation is, to say the least, incomplete.'

It's not that people aren't aware of the problems; it's just the attempted solutions tend to be ill-thought-out. 

Spend some more time at the planning stage – or indeed just try a bit of planning at all – and who knows what could happen? Probably not a lot, though.

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*See Bogotá's transport truths.

**For more on the SITP, read 'Dulling down' Bogotá.

A version of this story is also available on the El Tiempo web site at  http://bit.ly/1igXqyz.

Putting Colombia right, the 'Wrong Way'

As has been well documented, the Wrong Way crew is a modest bunch. Sometimes, though, we have to go against our natural instincts and give ourselves a modicum of praise (it’s unlikely anyone else will). 

So as we prepare to depart Bogotá for what at this remove is an unspecified period of time, we’re going to take a look at some of, ahem, our achievements in the region over the last 20-plus months.*

The sun is setting on this latest (but perhaps not last) stint in Bogotá.

Peace talks

Considering the bridges we built during our time living in divided Belfast (a nice little chat with the Reverend Ian Paisley outside City Hall being one of the highlights), it was only a matter of time before President Juan Manuel Santos called on us to set the Colombian peace process in motion. 

Cynics out there may say that the whole thing is just an expensive talking shop that’s going nowhere – the violence hasn’t stopped, for one – but at least they’re talking, right? (For an earlier account of this, see http://bit.ly/13IIUKr).

‘Revitalised’ Bogotá

Where do we start with this? There’s the partially pedestrianised Carrera Séptima (7th Street) in the capital’s centre – a rare victory for humans over vehicles (kind of). 

We stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Mayor Gustavo Petro during the controversial change in rubbish collection that has revolutionised waste collection in the city (well, maybe not quite revolutionised, but it sounds good – for background see http://bit.ly/WFOPsW).

What's more, we finally initialised the programme to rescue the metropolis’ overworked horses – it’s taking time to get them all off the streets, but we’re getting there (see http://bit.ly/15IZQPz).

It’s not only the equines we’ve saved but also some human beings. Our cleaning up of Bogotá’s notorious Bronx barrio (and other dangerous barrios in other cities across Colombia) has been a roaring success – we just haven’t been there in a while to check on progress (it’s too dangerous).

Carrera Septima –take away the cars & the people will come (and march).

Transport matters

An ever-extending (it goes to the airport now, almost) efficient (at times) Transmilenio service linked up with an integrated public bus system (SITP – OK, hardly anybody uses it yet and its operation is divvied up between nine companies, but change takes time, you know) is something we’re pretty proud of. 

We’re not resting on our laurels, though. Metro Bogotá is more than just a pipe dream, it is on the way, trust us. (For more on transport in the city, check out http://bit.ly/N68gKL)

La grande

Las grandes in our favourite tienda ...

For some reason, the big beer revolution that swept through the rest of South America some time back passed over Colombia. That was until we arrived and got Bavaria – the country’s main beer producer – moving on this front. 

Since the introduction of La grande (750ml bottle), through hard work, dedication and repetition, we’ve been persuading the locals to take up the big habit. Come on guys, above all it makes economical sense.

Vamos a Brazil

There’s no doubt Colombia has produced some exceptional football (soccer, if you will) players through the ages, but La Selección – the national team – has very often flattered to deceive. Thanks to our, um, support that has all changed. 

All they need is a couple of points from their final four games of the South American World Cup qualifiers and Los Cafeteros will be on their way to Brazil next year – their first World Cup finals appearance since 1998. Chévere.

Thespian talent

Before our arrival, Colombian telenovelas (soap operas) were renowned for their cheesiness, terrible acting, ridiculous storylines and just all-round bad quality. 

Now, however, with our help, they are, well, um ... Right, let’s just say we did some interesting extras work from time to time. The gory details of those can be found here http://bit.ly/NrbPc3.

Hard at it; but whose is that banana skin?

Educating excellence

While we may have occasionally showcased our acting skills on Colombia’s small screen, the arguably more lasting, beneficial legacy we’ll leave behind has been our ability to pass on the English language – with an Irish twist, albeit (more detailed thoughts on our teaching talents can be read here http://bit.ly/V8ELH4). 

Whether any of our alumni actually learned anything is open to debate. At the very least, though, some of them have a better understanding of Irish history and culture, Wrong Way style. 

We'll miss imparting that knowledge; as well as all the free coffees and the odd free lunch. Heck, those latter treats are enough to entice us back (we're easily pleased here, you know). Time will tell on that one.

*Disclaimer: We would like to point out that some of these achievements may not be directly attributed to us. But ...

A rare 'horse before the cart' moment in Bogotá

Change very often takes time. That’s especially the case here in Latin America. A good few months have passed since we wrote about Bogotá ‘dulling down’ (see http://bit.ly/XdUg5U) in terms of, for one, the introduction of a new integrated, more organised, less colourful mode of transport for the city.

Unpopular: Bogotanos remain frosty towards the SITP.

Take up, though, of the SITP* and its cashless, card-operated system has been a slow burner to say the least. When you can hop on and hop off the old-school buses anywhere you want throughout the city i.e. there are no designated stops, and at times for not even the full fare, it’s hard to swap such a service for one, let’s say, ‘less flexible’. 

Plus, with no visible reduction in the number of the private buseta/colectivo operators, commuters in the Colombian capital aren’t exactly being forced to change their ways.

There has, however, been more proactive action on one of the areas that we mentioned in ‘Dulling down’ Bogotá. In the past few days authorities have begun taking some of the old and not-so-old workhorses off the streets — no we’re not referring to people here (not yet anyway) but actual horses and the carts they’ve been pulling around the city’s highways and byways for years. 

It’s all part of Mayor Gustavo Petro’s plan to eradicate the maltreatment of animals in the metropolis, something these equines often suffer from. Indeed, it’s not just the horses that are forced into heavy labour; we’ve witnessed the odd dog being used as a substitute from time to time. However, the canines’ day for salvation will have to wait it seems.

Since it was first announced a few years back to take our hoofed friends off the tarmac, the move had been put on hold for some time which led a number of the city’s residents to believe that it would never happen. 

However, it’s now in full swing, with already more than 50 horses taken into safekeeping, away from the madness of the concrete jungle where they once had to compete with wildly driven, carbon-spouting buses to name just one of the many hazards. 

It’s expected that most, if not all, of the over 2,800 of these animals will be in greener pastures and more tranquil surroundings on the outskirts of the city and beyond by September of this year.

Brighter future ahead for Bogotá's horses?

Now, for some the removal of the horse-and-cart from Bogotá’s streets takes a little bit of colour away from the place — a throwback to more innocent times, perhaps, is being lost. Yes, there may be something in that, but considering the loads many of them were being forced to carry and the aforementioned craziness of the drivers of motorised vehicles in the city, for the horses own well-being this move has to be welcomed.

As for their owners, who are now without a valuable ‘work colleague’ you might say (or slave as others would point out), they haven’t been completely forgotten. They are due to receive 36-times the minimum salary for each horse they own, with the money to be used to invest in a mechanically operated cart, a business plan, or for pensioners and people with a disability they have the option to put the money into improving their place of residence.

Indeed with this financial compensation, the owners of these horses, after understandably being opposed to the measure when it was first mooted, seem largely cooperative now. A rare win for everybody it seems — the city and its residents, the horse owners and, most importantly for many observers, the once hapless horses themselves.

Down and out, without much help.

What next? Could the authorities in Bogotá now turn their attention to taking the thousands of homeless and deprived human beings in this city off the streets? Let’s not get too carried away now. While this equine move has been a rare 'horse before the cart' moment for these parts — a positive measure — some of the actual cart owners and many others continue to be forgotten about.

If you’re of a certain standing in this city, you’ve a better chance of being recognised and helped if you’re on four legs rather than two. Alas, many barely have any leg to stand on.

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*SITP: 'Sistema de Transporte Público de Bogotá' or Bogotá's Public Transport System if you will.

For more horse-related stories, see 'Horse it into ya' http://bit.ly/WhbuAE

Petrograd — Colombia's new capital?

There is a joke going around Bogotá — although for many it has a modicum of truth — that the Colombian capital is going to be renamed ‘Petrograd’. 

It’s all to do with the city’s mayor, Gustavo Petro and is a reference to the many Russian cities that were renamed after political leaders during the USSR communist era.

Mayor Gustavo Petro with trademark flat cap. (Pic. from Mayor's website.)

For those of you in the dark, Petro is a former member of the far-left guerrilla group M-19. Indeed, he did time in the mid-1980s for the illegal possession of arms. 

Now, while those more radical days may be well behind him — his election as mayor perhaps a sign of that — it could be said that ‘you can take the man out of the leftist guerrillas, but you can’t take the leftist guerrilla out of the man.’ Or, the other way to look at it as we'll see is that he’s an opportunist, plain and simple — a wise way to be, perhaps.

You see, while his overall plan for the city, ‘Bogotá Humana’ (Humane Bogotá), may be full of merit, how he’s going about implementing it is a little bit more questionable. No doubt, especially considering his background, he is a visionary — or at least he has an idea of the type of Bogotá/Colombia he’d like to see emerge in the coming years. 

However, it would appear, as is the case with so many elected officials (see ‘Time for change’ http://bit.ly/TLNgLn for more on that point), that he’s now beginning to play the populist card as he positions himself to run, as he unsuccessfully did in 2010, for the country’s presidency in 2014.

Nice buses. But where are all the passengers?

Let’s take the recent roll-out of the integrated public transport system, the Sitp. Despite our well-documented ‘love’ for the more chaotic older system of buses currently doing the rounds (see ‘Dulling down Bogotá’ http://bit.ly/XdUg5U), there’s no doubt that, in theory, the integrated system, given proper support, should make commuting in Bogotá far more comfortable for everybody. 

On top of that, the introduction of a modern fleet of, hopefully, cleaner, greener buses coupled with the phasing out of the big old gas guzzlers should do the air quality (well, lack of quality at this moment in time) in the metropolis no end of good.

Now, while it is relatively early days in its introduction — this is, of course, Colombia/Latin America — all the Sitp seems to have achieved thus far is the addition of a few more buses to the already chock-a-block Bogotá streets. With those buses carrying very few passengers at that. 

You see it appears that the Petro administration is too fearful to take on the very many private buseta/colectivo operators in the city. They make up a powerful group with many of their employees the type of people the current mayor will be relying on for support in his very likely second presidential assault in less than two years.

For if the powers that be in the city want its inhabitants to start using the new blue/red buses of the currently loss-making Sitp, the quickest way to achieve this is to make it the only game in town. So that means taking the busetas/colectivos off the road. The political will to do this seems to be sorely lacking. 

The talk from officialdom is that Bogotanos must adapt and change their habits. But when you have an old system where the buses pick you up and drop you off wherever you want along the route  — i.e. there are no set stops — and you don’t always have to pay the full fare, then getting people to opt out of that without much of a carrot or stick is wishful thinking.

As much of a socialist as Petro may claim to be, the lack of meaningful support he has shown to a publicly run transport system because of a reluctance to upset private operators is a bit of a contradiction to state the least.

Looking for work in Bogotá? Check out the bins.

He is, perhaps, staying closer to his roots on the waste collection issue — though the reasons for this may be far from ideological. 

Here, the four current private operators are facing the axe, with the service due to be passed on to one publicly run company, Acueducto, which is responsible for water in the city. 

For many locals, this is a jobs-for-the-boys style move from the Petro administration. The whole plan seems ill-thought-out and highly questionable. To this end, it has more than raised eyebrows at national level, with President Juan Manuel Santos’s administration at loggerheads with Petro over the issue. 

Indeed, the national government may yet pull the plug on the scheme, which is due to get up and running on 18 December. Such a public bloody nose for Mayor Petro could have its benefits, though, selling it to the masses as national interference in his goal to clean up Bogotá — a rallying cry to bolster support.

The new water charges are not without controversy either. Whatever about making those who earn more, pay more, to let a large, densely-populated area of the city off without any charges at all could be seen as populist. 

The richest three strata in the city will have to pay for water usage once it goes over a certain prescribed amount. For the remaining three strata, there will be no water consumption charges at all. 

The thought of having to fork out for excessive water use can be an important motivation to conserve, though. Education can go so far, but people tend to learn more quickly when it hits them in the pocket.

In Petrograd, however, it’s best to keep the masses onside. Perhaps that’s the best way to play it, for now.

'Dulling down' Bogotá

Outside of its natural beauty, another thing that attracts many Westerners or those from the developed world (whatever that means) to Latin America is the difference of the place compared to home. The not-very-organised confusion if you will. It can be refreshingly chaotic, at least for a time.

Die-hards: Bogotá's old-school, diesel-guzzling buses.

In a more specific sense, we highlighted previously (see ‘Bogotá’s Transport Truths’) this kind of chaos in terms of transport here in Bogotá, our home, on and off, for the best part of a year. 

We mentioned then, that despite its many flaws, we preferred the colourful colectivo/buseta public transport system over the more modern Transmilenio (the city’s ‘far from efficient but getting there’ tram service on wheels). 

This attraction, however, with the old-school buses, their colourful handcrafted route displays and devil-may-care way of operating may, sadly in some respects, be coming to an enforced end. 

It’s all to do with the rolling-out of the city’s SITP or integrated public transport system.* In a bid to modernise the metropolis, the old way of doing things is being phased out. 

So, over the next few months and years residents of Bogotá must learn to catch a bus at an actual bus stop, which means the bus drivers will have to get out of the habit of aggressively braking to pick up passengers at random locations. 

With the introduction of a cashless, card system the days of waving a 1,000 peso note at the driver – the accepted sign that you are only willing/able to pay two-thirds of the fare – will be numbered. If your card isn't charged with the sufficient amount, you won’t be able to board. 

Well, that’s the theory anyway. No doubt a few crafty Bogotanos will find a way around this. 

Besides, what about the steam of individuals boarding the current buses, without paying, selling things such as DVDs and pens to books and chocolate and everything else in between? Surely they're not just going to disappear.

Facing the axe: the ass-and-cart is fighting for its future.

The travel-card system will also mean that the bus drivers will only have to concentrate on actual driving. 

The admirable skills they have required of managing to, more or less, keep the bus on the road while dishing out the correct change to an endless string of passengers will become defunct. Getting around Bogotá will no doubt be a far duller experience for all these changes.

However, for those of you with a soft spot, like us, for the simple, more rustic way of doing things you’ll be glad to know that old habits and buses die hard around these parts. 

You just need to take a look north to the more ‘cosmopolitan’ Panama City to see how the old-school system refuses to go away despite the city’s rush towards ‘modernisation’. Although Panamanians have got used to using assigned bus stops.  

Now, of course, there are obvious positives in this attempt to ‘clean up’ Bogotá’s transport system. A new, modern fleet of buses should mean that they are cleaner and more fuel efficient than most of the old-guard monsters currently on the prowl. 

In fairness, that’s not stating a lot considering the choking emissions from the archaic buses resemble those of a decent-sized factory. Anything that might do even the slightest bit to freshen up the city’s light, oxygen-deprived air has to be welcomed.

But while it might be one step forward for the seemingly progressive Mayor Gustavo Petro in the above regard on reducing carbon emissions from transport, it’s at least a sixth of a step back in another way: the banning of the ass-and-cart from the city’s thoroughfares in the coming months. 

Come on, the emissions from the humble ass (that’s the animal we’re referring to here) are nothing compared to those gas-guzzling vehicles, the old or new ones.  

The changing face of Carrera Septima.

Perhaps, though, they’ll still be allowed to mosey on down Carrera Septima (Seventh Street), now that its partial pedestrianisation is up and running. 

As one of Bogotá’s most iconic and important arteries, leading right into the main square, Plaza Bolívar, this move is welcome, despite the opposition by some local traders. 

Indeed, in the long run, it’s these very same local traders who may benefit the most from taking the traffic off this street.

All these new developments are an attempt to bring Bogotá in line with the very best cities, not just in South America, but across the globe. And as the chief urban centre in a country that is changing – ever so slowly, but changing nonetheless – its negative, dangerous image to the outside world, all the above can be seen, in general, as positive. 

For those of you who fear the city and its inhabitants may lose a little bit of their uniqueness, there’s much more to this place and its people than how they commute.  

However, on a broader scale, modernisation does not always mean ‘cleaner and greener’ — on the contrary, in some cases it can mean quite the opposite. 

So as many ‘developing countries’ try to play catch-up with the ‘developed’ ones, it’s worth bearing in mind the following stat we came across recently: If the world’s poorest four-fifths were to live like the richest one-fifth, at current consumption levels, we would need four planet earths to sustain us.

Some food for thought that.

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*SITP stands for Sistema Integrado de Transporte Público de Bogotá, or Bogotá's Integrated Public Transport System.