Colombia's presidential election: The candidates (and their Irish 'equivalents')

When it comes to politics, we Irish are as passionate as they come. Throw in an imminent election and our interest increases even more.

Back home, the European and local council elections will occupy some people's minds over the next few weeks. However, they're just not as 'sexy' as a general election, when we select the people to run (or not run, as the case often is) the state at national level. In this regard, Colombia's upcoming presidential ballot can fill that void for now.

So in a bid to help you know better those in the running for Colombia's top job, the following is a comparison between the candidates for Ireland's last presidential election in 2011 and those now doing likewise here.

Of course, the role of an Irish president is virtually ceremonial, with our prime minister more comparable to a Colombian president in terms of duties. But for character, background and in some ways affiliation similarities, this guide should be somewhat helpful.

10 more years?

Juan Manuel Santos – Michael D. Higgins

This may seem a strange match up. Higgins of the left and eventual winner of the Irish contest with the centrist/centre-right (as far left as presidents go here, really) Colombian incumbent now seeking re-election.

Michael D; least bad.

However, in the Irish case, after a fairly
tumultuous campaign for a presidential election, voters sided with Higgins as what could be seen as a 'safest pair of hands, not as controversial' kind of mentality. In less than glowing terms about Santos, the phrase 'best of a bad bunch' is one you'll regularly hear from many Colombians.

A problem area for El Presidente leading up to the 25 May poll is his decision not to intervene in the controversial dismissal of the now former Bogotá mayor Gustavo Petro, which could see some centre-left minded voters desert him. On the other side, the peace talks he has initiated with the Farc guerillas haven't gone down too well with some centre-right leaning Colombians.*

Opinion polls suggest he should still pull through – but it's unlikely he'll get 50 per cent or more of the votes to prevent a run-off election with his nearest challenger.

Peñalosa: Freewheeling.

Enrique Peñalosa Londoño – Seán Gallagher

While Peñalosa has much more of a political pedigree — he was a congressman in the early 1990s and mayor of Bogotá from 1998-2001 — than the entrepreneurial Gallagher, the link here comes from past associations with tainted (tainted for some that is) characters.

Gallagher: Toxic links.

Gallagher looked a shoo-in for the Irish presidency until accusations of dodgy financial dealings, linked with the once almighty but at the time (and still for many) pretty toxic Fianna Fáil party, dogged and eventually scuppered his campaign.

For Peñalosa, having previous ties with divisive former president and very much right-of-centre Álvaro Uribe could work against him. However, in a country such as Colombia where the left has traditionally been kept (often brutally) silent when it comes to having a say in elections, the Uribe link may not be as telling as you might think.

Indeed, that Peñalosa is running on a Green Party ticket could see him take a little bit more from the left than he might have done in another context.

López: Reawakening Colombia's left?

Clara López – David Norris & Martin McGuinness

As much as the Irish electorate might like to see itself as progressive and open-minded, the fact that David Norris is gay sat uncomfortably for many.

Norris (top) & 'missile' McGuinness.

'A nice guy, but you can't have a homosexual for president' was the general feeling, even if few admitted it publicly.

The above pretty much holds true in Colombia too, yet your prospects are probably a little worse being a leftist politician.
We're barely into double digits in terms of years passed since those from the democratic left were regularly, systematically even, gunned down due to their political persuasion.

Basically for those who held, and continue to hold, the purse strings and their supporters, left meant – and still means for some – guerilla, regardless of the actual truth. And being associated with guerillas while seeking high office in a country trying to put a deadly past behind it doesn't fit well with most franchised citizens – just ask Martin McGuinness.

Yes, things aren't as obviously bloody as they once were in Colombia and it's fair to say Ms López probably never held a gun in her hand in her life.

However, 'left' is still a dirty word for much of the electorate in these parts. With that, Ms López is in a battle she simply cannot win. Though, like many in her position before, she'll put up a good fight.

Zuluaga: Who?

Óscar Ívan Zuluaga – Gay Mitchell

Traditionalists with a powerful, popular party behind them. But dull and uninspiring. That pretty much sums up things here.

Gays, lots of Gays.

Mitchell's campaign never really got off the ground; largely because he just couldn't connect with voters.

For Zuluaga, the popular joke among the Colombian press speaks volumes:
Each time he arrives home the security guards at his apartment complex ask who he is, such is his dangerously low profile.

Running for the Centro Democrático (Democratic Centre) party and thus being in the shadow of the aforementioned former president Álvaro Uribe is both a hindrance and a help. It's a hindrance in that it's difficult for him to cut his own niche, be his own man. On the plus side, the Uribe link will land him plenty of votes from the multitude of right-leaning Colombians, ones he may not have got on his own standing.

For that reason, he can't be discounted as easily as Gay Mitchell was.

Well, if the T-shirt fits, Marta?

Also-rans: Dana (top) & Mary Davis.

Marta Lucía Ramírez – Dana Rosemary Scallon & Mary Davis

A case of the also-rans.

Representing the Conservative Party (aren't they all Conservative, bar López?) Ms Lucía Ramírez's presence might have the effect of taking some votes off Santos and Zuluaga.

Hence, she may have more of an influence than either Rosemary Scallon or Davis had on the Irish contest. But she certainly won't be making Casa de Nariño her home for the next four years.

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*For a background article on the peace talks, see Colombia's path to peace?

Transmilenio: A snapshot of Colombian "organisation"?

'In Colombia, we’re more concerned with the idea and not so much with the execution. Additionally, time management is messy here.'

The Transmilenio: It almost looks serene here.

The above sentiments aren't mine (although, they could be). Rather they are that of a Bogotá native now living and working in the USA. In so many ways they ring true in this land.

Let's start with a somewhat positive outlook. There certainly seems to exist a strong work ethic among the Colombian populace – from a Bogotá context in any case. Or a strong desire to get to work at least. 

All you have to do is try and squeeze yourself onto a city bus or the (much-maligned) Transmilenio from 5 am onwards each weekday to see that most city residents are not slouches when it comes to early rising. 

Plus, it's not a case of early to work, early home. Many won't commence the return journey until at least 12 hours later, if not more. Slaves to their work or workaholics? Well, yes and no.

Coming back to our opening quote, a lot of it is down to time management (or lack thereof) and methodology coupled with, to put it mildly, a less-than-clinical execution, manifested in so many interlocking areas across the metropolis.

On the hours that many actually spend at work here, how productive they are with that time is open to much debate. Very often the answer is in the results; they're usually not jaw-dropping. 

It comes down to that difference between being at work and actually doing work. 

Many Colombian employers prefer to see their staff staying late at the office or wherever, having the 'look of work' about them, even if it is to the detriment of productivity. It's linked in with the inherent lack of trust that people here have in one another.

Inside the Transmilenio system.

Now, another reason why many may willingly stay late at work, especially those who face a public transport commute, is to avoid going home at peak times. 

The aforementioned Transmilenio is something I touched on some time back, however few will argue that the system has got progressively worse as it has expanded.* 

Not only is it severely under-capacity, but the behaviour of its users has deteriorated to sub-animal level compared to the last time I wrote about this.

Outside of more buses, station layout, with a special focus on the manner in which people enter and exit the carriages, is something that needs to be seriously addressed. Yet any new stations built are designed in the same way as the flawed current system.

On top of this, the state of the route corridors is generally shocking; buses often have to slow to a crawl to manoeuvre their way around massive potholes and uneven surfaces. 

An excuse given for the latter problem is that Bogotá is built on a swamp, thus maintaining smooth roadways is difficult. Well, it's not the first city in the world to have to overcome such natural inconveniences. 

One thing that would help is for authorities not to give such work to cowboy construction companies, where the bottom line is lining one's own pocket.

You've also a question of focus. With the Transmilenio practically on its knees, the powers that be have decided making WiFi available in a number of stations a priority. Well, perhaps it's a way to pacify the masses as they hang around like cattle waiting, typically in vain, to cram onto the next bus.

Then you have the 'integrated' public transport system, or SITP, which has been rolling out gradually since late 2012.** The idea is that it's meant to replace the myriad of private bus operators currently bringing the majority of the city's populace to and from their place of work. 

One of the problems with it, however, is that it's not really integrated. For starters, the card you need to use the SITP buses is not compatible with most of the Transmilenio services. This is down to the fact that they have different operators.

Colectivos -- better than the Transmilenio?

What's more, the SITP buses themselves are also operated by different companies, depending on which part of the city they serve. Have we lost something in translation between the Spanish 'integrado' and the English 'integrated'? 

Alongside all that, deciphering where each route goes seems overly and unnecessarily confusing. It's the busetas/colectivos for me still.

Taking all this 'on board' so to put it, as a friend opined about the transport system in Bogotá, 'it's a microcosm of Colombian life in general; not a bad idea in theory, but how it's put into operation is, to say the least, incomplete.'

It's not that people aren't aware of the problems; it's just the attempted solutions tend to be ill-thought-out. 

Spend some more time at the planning stage – or indeed just try a bit of planning at all – and who knows what could happen? Probably not a lot, though.

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*See Bogotá's transport truths.

**For more on the SITP, read 'Dulling down' Bogotá.

A version of this story is also available on the El Tiempo web site at  http://bit.ly/1igXqyz.

Bogotá's 'dark side' rises

There is no doubt that Colombia's image has changed, in a positive sense, over the last number of years. 

Not only has this happened from an external perspective, where this naturally stunning country was once seen as a war zone and best to be avoided, but also internally. 

Many Colombians now have a desire, and more importantly feel safe enough, to travel around and see the many sights this land has to offer; and on that front it has few equals.

Above is as good as it gets for some of Bogotá's homeless.

From a personal perspective, a few minor-ish incidents aside, I've generally felt largely safe here, be that living in Bogotá or travelling independently to various parts of the country.* 

Of course, at times it can be a case of ignorance being bliss. In terms of the capital city, since my first arrival in 2009, I've wandered about in areas that many longer-term residents, with memories of a not-too-distant deadly past, wouldn't let a rat roam in. 

For sure, I've heard the stories, but I find it best to judge from personal experience in the here and now, along with my gut instincts. Such an approach generally sees me right.

To this end, I had always found Bogotá's historic centre, La Candelaría, as safe as any inner-city neighbourhood can be. 

However, since returning to live there after a spell in some different sectors, it seems that there has been a growth in "less-desirable" types floating about the area. And, at the risk of being biased, their focus appears to be on the ubiquitous extranjeros (foreigners) in this part of town. 

That's largely due to the mistaken (on this writer's part anyway) belief that many of us have lots of cash to spread around. Not unlike many things here, they're honing in on the wrong targets really. How about trying to get the city's and Colombia's wealthy ruling classes to start doing something meaningful for you?

So while huge strides have been made to make downtown Bogotá more welcoming to both locals and foreigners, there is a danger that authorities are taking their collective eyes off the ball. In fact, I'm beginning to feel safer in what is generally recognised as much more of a crime hotspot, La Perseverancia barrio.

One of the potential reasons for this noticeable increase in insecurity in the centre is linked to the attempts to clean up the notorious Bronx barrio a little further to the south. Despite the optics and political backslapping, it really has been a case of just scattering a deprived, disgruntled and potentially dangerous bunch of people across the city. 

The real social problems at root are what need to be addressed. City and government policy thus far is akin to spraying a shot of air freshener into an overflowing sewer. 

Now, lest I be accused of always finding problems but rarely offering solutions, here are a couple of simple things that could offer at least some modicum of improvement.

Bogotá: Getting 'darker' and more dangerous by the day?

For starters, provide some basic shelters across the city for the many homeless to rest, wash themselves, go to the toilet. It's not the most welcoming environment for tourists and residents alike to witness homeless people relieving themselves in public in broad daylight. 

With time these shelters could even be turned into something like soup kitchens – the costs shouldn't be excessive. Once established and, hopefully, being utilised, such places could start providing basic education and other training programmes, as well as offering drug-addiction services.

Furthermore, for the moment at least, a more visible police presence, especially at nighttime, would be helpful. And on what should be a less-taxing note, ensuring all street lights are in working order would aid in reducing the number of dark corners for ladrones (robbers) to hide behind.

Whether the political will exists to undertake such modest measures is questionable.

What is certain, however, is that the heretofore favoured policy of ignoring or just moving the problem won't make it go away. 

Come on guys, get those heads of yours out of the sand. If not, the shiny new positive image will continue to fade.

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*For a previous post detailing one of these previous incidents, see Fighting for 'Free Bogotá'.

Google 'NoSense'

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.”

It has been a hugely successful few days for the good folk at Google AdSense. A serious threat to the viability and reputation of its service has been removed. Order has been restored. Wrong Way's malicious manoeuvrings have been uncovered and are now terminated.

Somebody's making money; not Wrong Way, though (pic from http://compuscien.blogspot.com).

What? You haven't heard of this blog's 'dodgy dealings', a cunning plan to 'rob' AdSense and its advertisers of millions of euros? Well, to be honest, neither did I, until the Google offshoot informed me via e-mail that my account was being disabled due to 'invalid activity'. 

What exactly that invalid activity was, is anybody's guess. AdSense is certainly being coy about it, apparently due to security issues, so one can only speculate as to what exactly the breach of rules was.

All this coming at a time when Wrong Way was, um, taking off. Already in the kitty sat, drumroll please, a cool €25 ($34US), and this after only two years of the 'lucrative' advertising being displayed on the blog. At that rate, by 2017 I might have been close to reaching the current payout threshold of €70. Heady times indeed. 

My round-the-world trip plans were already taking shape on the belief that this big payday was looming. Now, alas, everything has been thrown into chaos. I fear each knock at the door is the bank manager coming to take what he can from me before I abscond.

Worse still, perhaps Google will send their henchmen to 'sort me out' for having the cheek to take them on (and almost get away with it too, as the above figures illustrate).

That wouldn't be too surprising considering the ruthless streak the company has displayed thus far. Not even a warning was forthcoming to inform me that the blog was 'under suspicion'.

Yes, there is an appeal process which I duly went through only to be promptly told, in another template e-mail (where is the personal touch guys?): 

“After thoroughly (my emphasis) reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we're unable to reinstate your AdSense account.” 

And the e-mail closed with the following: “As a reminder, further participation in the AdSense program by publishers whose accounts have been disabled is not permitted.”

You'll be, ahem, missed Open English (picture from openenglish.com).

That's where it's at. Very much a feeling of 'case closed'. In a bid to try to deal with a person rather than a generic appeal process and e-mail templates, I did write a message to AdSense on Google Plus to emphasise my bewilderment at the decision. Surprisingly, there has been no response.

So punished for an unnamed 'crime', with no real recourse to defend myself. Heck, Google's specialists might shut down the blog next (no such luck, you say). Perhaps, with this broadside, I'm in danger of biting off the hand that (barely) fed me?

For the time being, though, for all you loyal Wrong Way followers (don't laugh), look on the bright side: There'll be no more of those annoying Open English ads hogging this screen. That's our silver lining.

Plus, there's always WordPress and El Tiempo. It's not all about the money, right?

The end of 'we' as we know it

It is with great sadness that I must bring to you the end, as you have become accustomed to here at Wrong Way, of 'we'. Yes, the 'we' that so many of you (two on the last count, including me) know, love and even feel part of, is departing the scene.

Me, myself, and I; 'I think we're alone now...'

You'll be glad to know that it has been an amicable separation. It's just it had become more and more difficult to defend the continuance of 'we' when 'I' would have sufficed. The fact that Wrong Way recently opened up a new front where 'I' has led the way, has been a factor in this sudden decamping.*

This is not to say that I haven't valued 'we's' contribution to this blog over the past two years plus, it's just I feel it's time to get back to me. 

'We' did serve its purpose, allowing a certain candidness at times that 'I' perhaps wouldn't have been able to express. However, rightly or wrongly – the latter being more appropriate considering who's writing – I'm feeling more brazen these days, so 'we' is taking an indefinite rest.

There are times when 'we' will return, more than likely in an all encompassing sense. So rest assured all you 'we' fans, this is not terminal; it's just the beginning of a new departure here. A change being as good as a rest and all that. Or the beginning of the end?

Whatever the case, for now it's just me (and hopefully you). Heck, I'm feeling a bit exposed. Stick with me here.

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*Outside of the El Tiempo gig, there is also this for GoAbroad.com, where it is all 'me'.

'Que pena con usted; but at least I got my way'

It's not always best practice to take sayings/phrases from a non-native language, translate them into our own, and then take them literally. 

There are many examples in English where taking a word-for-word translation of certain expressions just doesn't make sense in other languages; 'the hair of the dog', 'beat about the bush', and so forth.

'Que pena Mr Cayman, but at least I'd the decency to wait until you died.'

Yet, the Colombian-Spanish saying of 'que pena con usted' doesn't fall into this bracket – not as far as we're concerned anyway, owing to our experiences of its use. The literal translation is 'what pain/embarrassment for (with) you'. 

This tends to be used in many scenarios in Colombia when, in the English speaking world, in any case, the more appropriate response would be 'Sorry' or 'Is there anything I can do to help?'

Now, you might say that que pena for Colombians is their 'sorry' and that's what they mean when they utter it (leaving aside the fact that there is in existence a perfect Spanish equivalent of 'sorry', namely 'lo siento', – literally 'I feel it' – which many other Spanish-speaking countries have no problem using). However, as is so often the case, actions speak much louder than words.

For example, an all-too-often 'que pena' usage is when you're in the middle of asking for something at a bar or café or the like and somebody else comes along and starts barking out his (or her – and perhaps it's more likely to be a woman) order ahead of you. 

You politely inform him that you were there first and in the middle of ordering; cue the que pena (without making eye contact) and the out-of-order order continues without a second thought for the 'displaced'. In other words, to fit the translation, “what a pain for you indeed. But I'm happy, I've got what I want, that's the most important thing.”

You could argue that there is a freshness and even honesty in this compared to much of the English-speaking world where people sometimes use 'sorry' when they don't really mean it. However, it's fair to say, in comparison with the example above for one, our behaviour in queues is generally a little more courteous and, dare we say, correct.

Moreover, an indifferent que pena is used in so many contexts where for us 'lo siento' should be the more appropriate reply backed up by a genuine acceptance of an error or misjudgement. 

In its absence, it really only leaves one conclusion; they don't care that their actions have impeded you.

It does seem like a case of 'sorry being the hardest word'; or just not in the vernacular, full stop.

The 'Bible' for some Colombians?

We can't highlight all this without touching on another, what appears to be from our experiences and those of others we've met in any case, national trait. That is an inherent inability to admit culpability to anything, even if there is irrefutable damning evidence to the contrary.

In some places, putting your hand up to say you were at fault is seen as a brave, courageous step in many incidences, a display of honesty. Not so, for the most part, in Colombia. There's always some sort of excuse available, even if it happens to be about as watertight as a teabag.

Yet this doesn't mean that you can't be at fault (well somebody has to be, right?). If something unfortunate happens to you, a typical question here is 'what did you do wrong?' for it to have occurred. 

For example, 'it's your fault that the 'ladrones' (thieves) robbed you, you allowed them to.' No 'dar papaya' and all that (and we hasten to add, the few run-ins we've had have generally been down to our own stupidity – it's not the case for everybody though). 

This, perhaps, gives some explanation as to why there appears to be at times a laissez-faire attitude towards petty crime among the locals. It happens, and if you're the victim you probably did something to allow it to happen.

'Que pena con usted' indeed. Continue to throw it our way, however, and the bigger 'pena' might be with you. We're too nice for that though. 

Plus, as we learned some time back, it's best not to take such things too seriously in these parts; nobody else appears to.

Born to run (or at least wander)?

Most of us, those who have the luxury to do so that is, experience times when we question the direction our life is going in. Are we doing the right thing? In the right place? With the right people?

Always out of reach?

These have been things very much on our mind of late. Much of this is down to the fact that we have that aforementioned luxury to ponder about them. 

In other words, owing to our rather simple, independent lifestyle over the last number of years, we've managed to live relatively cheaply and keep a little balance of cash in reserve. 

Enough, that is, to make us feel like we can take the time to discover something in life that we find truly enjoyable/fulfilling, yet not enough, contradictory as it may seem, to allow us take some risks that may provide the key to the former.

One of the things we've discovered we like doing, at this stage of our life in any case, is moving; seeing new places, exploring, observing how people live in different locations. The reality is that since 2008 this is how, more or less, our life has been.

We even put the 20 months we spent working full time in Belfast into this category. This was because the city was new to us, somewhat different from the places in Ireland we were used to, with that novelty taking some time to wear off. 

Also, as our job was poorly paid, trying to put money aside was a challenge, something that we took on with gusto in many ways (well, we had no other choice). 

Despite that, and another reason our Belfast period can go onto the adventure list, we went overseas for holidays on a number of occasions during our stint there — as many times (and for longer) than our 23 years pre-2008.

So, it seems our first global adventure between 2008 and 2009 released the wanderer in us. Before then, an easy(ish) life in an Ireland that appeared awash with opportunities (or so we were told) coupled with decent enough full-time employment at a young age in a professional field that we generally liked, had kept this wanderlust at bay. 

Oh, how things change! Now, especially in the absence of a fulfilling, full-time, well-paid job (if there is such a thing for us), there exists an insatiable desire to move after a time in one place.

Yes, it is true we willingly returned to Bogotá, a city we had already lived in, on and off, for over 18 months, after a three-month spell back in Ireland last year. 

Yet, at a loose end in our birthplace*, Bogotá still seemed an adventure and, paradoxically in a way, a place where we had built up a good number of professional contacts, somewhere we knew we could find some work, sporadic as it may be. And we were (are) slightly concerned about money. Who isn't?

The world is our oyster http://bit.ly/1icklNw?

Now, however, not even three months back, those wanderlust feelings have returned. Yet they are tempered by concerns for the future; our professional progression, our financial well-being. You might call it adventurism constrained by conservatism, an old head on young(ish) shoulders.

Our background has a lot to do with that; the old settling down mentality and way of life of which most of us are products. Find a partner, build a house, start a family, and, hopefully, have a steady job. 

The last (and for us, the first also) of those is quite difficult to pin down these days, which makes the others more difficult to achieve (especially so here in Colombia where the link between money and women runs deep**). That is, of course, if we wanted to settle at this moment in time.

In any case, history is full of explorers and adventurers, those who shunned that settling-down life. It's because of such men (and the odd few women) that the world is how we know it today — for good and bad. 

OK, there aren't too many places left to be newly discovered on this planet, in a land context anyway, but that doesn't stop the personal human desire to explore and to see new things.

So if we could just make a living out of a nomadic lifestyle that should assuage our conservative side and allow us wander (and wonder) worry-free. 

At least for a time anyway; this might be just a phase we're going through. That fanciful million dollar contract might make us stop and think.

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*For more on that somewhat 'restless' state back home see both Any which way but lose... and No country for young men.

**Our début post, Wages of love, touched on this.